


Maybe It's a Sign

by The_Fallen_Angel_Gabe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Auras, Betrayal, Brady is an asshole, Dean Takes Care Of Sam, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Gabriel, Hurt Sam, I'm Sorry, Immortality, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Love Confessions, Lucifer is also an asshole, M/M, Minor Character Deaths, Minor Relationships, Not Beta Read, Please Don't Kill Me, Psychological Torture, Radio- Angel Radio..... oops, Sam Misses Gabe, Slightly Possessive/Protective Gabriel, Somewhat Slow Build Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Technically it's underage sex but it's consensual and they're teenagers, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Torture, Tortured Gabriel, Triggers, Unhappy Ending, a little Michael/Lucifer even though it isn't really Michael but I ship it so it's happening, one is almost of age anyways and the other like two years away, star-crossed lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-02 13:58:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 60,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4062565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fallen_Angel_Gabe/pseuds/The_Fallen_Angel_Gabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel Novak can see auras, and not just any kind of auras, death auras. Just by the color he can tell how soon someone is going to die and, with few exceptions, how. That is until one day a new kid comes to class with absolutely no aura.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So I have posted this is my first fic on Ao3 so please be nice. I'll try posting at least once every week, maybe every few days, I don't know yet. I'm posting two today, only because the first chapter is insanely short. Sorry for any errors, anyways, enjoy!

Waking up is just the same as every day. I first see my mother's beautiful forest green aura framing her petite body. She stands in my doorway telling me to wake up for school. I, of course, promise to be up in the next five minutes, and when she leaves promptly fall back asleep. Then when the five minutes pass, and she knows I've lied yet again, she sends my younger sister Hannah up to wake me up.

Now the only reason why I wake up at this point is because she climbs up on my desk and jumps over onto my bed right on top of me. Now let me tell you, she may be six, but her little sixty pound self makes one heck of a landing. After her giving me a new bruise on my side I get up and get ready for the day. It doesn't matter how bad the bruise is that day though, I will never get over how gorgeous her pink and green aura is. I call it gorgeous, because never have I seen such a mix that actually goes together.  
It doesn't take me long to finish getting ready, seeing as how I never shower in the morning. I learned my lesson when Castiel nearly broke down the door. I may or may not have accidentally fallen asleep in the shower that day. Anyways, after that I make my downstairs, grab the toast and am out the door before my mom can give me a lecture about lying and waking up earlier.

All seems pretty normal right? Wrong. Little did I know I'd be falling in love with the greatest mystery life can throw at you.


	2. Auras: The Signs of Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like chapter summaries too much, the title is the summary, sorry for those of you who like it! Also, the prologue and this are more of just fillers, real plot starts next chapter.

 

_Like I said before everything has been normal that day. I never felt like anything would change in my life. I still look back and I still see that my life then, it never felt like it would've changed. I had good grades. Sure they weren't great, I wasn't a nerd after all. I had a couple colleges in mind, just so if I didn't get into my dream college I had something else to fall back on. I had a loving family who cared about me. My life.... it shouldn't have changed. Nothing should have changed, but that's in the past. All of it is, and now I'm stuck here in this-_

 

***** 

Getting to school isn't hard. It's only a few short blocks, but my best friend Charlie insists on taking me. Then again she insists on taking me everywhere, and by insists I mean drag and occasionally beg. Today wasn't any different. I get in Charlie's car and she drives to school rambling on about her newest "fandom" she's found over the weekend. Meanwhile I admire her yellow tinged green aura. _If only yellow didn't mean heart attack._  

We get to the library and split up down different hallways same as usual. Same as every day. I walk into my class and the colors explode at me, just as usual. Maria still has her typical purple and green. Lexi her dark blue and green. I glance over at Kyle, cringing at still seeing him. His aura is strong, a bright red mixed with black.

I should mention what the colors mean. Green, always means a long life. Red, short. That's why I hate seeing Kyle, he's a friend of mine, but he knows what I see. He knows how he's gonna die too. That's what the black is for.

Everyone, typically, has two colors, some only have one. You know then what life they will have. There is only one for that. Green. That's it. Green means you live a long life, die of old age, like my mother. Everyone else...tragedy. Most think that's what life will be. Just a long happy life and die peacefully in their sleep.

It's not. It never will be. Unfortunately people like me know that, and will never hide from that truth. Maria, with her purple, means she will die of a disease. Could be old age, could be when she's an adult. All I know is, that from the green, she's got awhile. Lexi with her dark blue, means she'll drown. Doesn't throw her though, she's the state champion of swimmers. I don't know technical terms and all, I'm not into sports. 

I sit down by Kyle, like any day. He doesn't say anything to me. He knows what I see. I try to convince him it could be better every time. He won't change. That's the thing about these auras, they can change. The green to red in a second. The purple to dark blue to black in a minute. They all change, but they hardly ever do. I look over to see Balthazar, he gives me a sigh before turning to what I assume to be his newest "love". He gets one every week. Sometimes guy, sometimes girl. This one so happens to be Lisa. I hate seeing her aura, it's green all right, but the brownish tinge will never let me forget how she will die. Car crash. And bloody too. Death right on the spot, that's why it's a dark brown. Light means from injuries or coma from the crash.

I still wonder what my younger sister will die from, pink. Rare, like ultra rare, never seen any one else have it, don't think I will again. That's what brings fear to my gut every time. No matter what though, I always get sidetracked by how beautiful it is. That's when I remember my colors. Green, like most, but also a red. I don't understand how this can happen. Green and red. Death and Life? Yin and Yang? Good and Bad? Like very day I brush it off. I always assume that it's because I can see auras. Not everyone can. It isn't rare, but it isn't normal. It's mutation. At least, that's what everyone says.

Now I'm not the only person in this school who can see auras. In fact, out of two thousand, I'm one of one hundred. We all know each other, and we give knowing looks to each other all the time. Balthazar's one, he looks to me everyday. Uriel and Zachariah, they can see them too. They happen to be the jerks though. Balthazar and I, we see someone like Kyle, try to fix them up. Uriel and Zachariah, they see someone like that, they burn them down. Luckily they're only two of the five in this school that are like that. I love seeing their auras sometimes. Green, sure, but grey with it. Gun shots. Zack with light and Uriel with dark.

Now it isn't like I would love to see them die. But they had gotten on my last nerve, that's why Kyle is so sure. That's why all I want is just a little revenge. Except seeing their auras isn't enough. A dead animal here, spray paint there, maybe a few dozen rotten eggs. I got all sorts of tricks up my sleeve. Just because you know how they're going to die, doesn't mean you can't change them. I do, they don't. That's the difference. I know I can't change Lisa's, but I can at least try and change Kyle's.


	3. The Greatest Mystery of Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what I'm doing with my life anymore. I will be writing more, and I actually have most of it written, I just don't have the time to post at the moment. I feel like you won't like it as much later on, but oh well. Enjoy!

 

_Look, I think it's gotten worse. I never thought my life would change this way. I didn't want it to. I didn't expect it to...... This wasn't supposed to happen. None of this was. I wasn't supposed to love like this. I wasn't supposed to live like this. I was supposed to live a life....only wondering what.......... meant.... wasn't...I didn't.....never was......red....green..._

*****

Yeah. Life was normal. After a few minutes Kyle and I relaxed and got to our normal conversations. My newest candy craze or prank.

"Dude, seriously that's disgusting," I say.

"Oh come on! You haven't even tried it!" 

"Root beer and roses? It's one thing if it's a nonalcoholic date. It's another if it's a flavor for a sucker." Kyle laughs and rolls his eyes at me. "Hey, I'm the candy expert here." He rolls his eyes again, muttering a 'here we go again'. "Wow, rude much?" He gives a short laugh. Even those are victories for me with this kid. "Roses are good to smell, not to-"

"Wait so the first problem is that it's wrong as a flavor for the mix, but not the one ingredient that isn't and should never even be edible?" He questions me.

"Not fair."

"Totally is."

"I wasn't thinking straight!"

"You never think straight!"

"Yes I do! I just happen to like not thinking strai-" That's when he walks in. My jaw drops so low and so fast the sucker in mouth nearly drops out. Kyle smirks at me. I'm not looking at him though, I just know he's doing it. The thing is though, he can't see what I see. This. This is the most rare thing I have ever seen. Red and green auras, sure, it might be because I can see them in the first place. Pink and green, who knows, but it's rare, we know. No aura, now that, that has got to be the greatest mystery of this life. This world. I mean, who doesn't have an aura? It's not like there's any discrimination. Race, gender, sexuality, age...none of it matters. You get an aura, no matter what. Okay, well that's what we call them. But either way...

I cannot stop staring. I also apparently can't hear since Balthazar has already ran from the other side of the classroom. His hand gripping tight on my shoulder jolts me awake from whatever trance I was in. I look up at him for a second, only to go back to staring once I see he's looking as well.

"Dude." Balthazar breathes in my ear.

"I know." I whisper back.

"You see it too?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think he knows?"

"How can he not?"

"What does it mean?"

"I don't know." We keep staring. Neither of us can look away. Luckily he's too busy talking to the teacher to notice it yet.

"Hey guys?" Kyle interrupts. "Uh. Seeing as you two are actually getting along with each other, and that only ever happens when you agree. Which you never do, do you mind telling me what it is? Is it his looks or aura?" He gives a completely confused look, but a little fearful too.

"Aura" We say at the same time.

"What about it?" He sounds almost scared. I mean, he should be, but....

"There is none." Balthazar says. Kyle gives a laugh.

"No seriously, what colors? Is it red?" Kyle is smiling, of course he thinks we're joking. He doesn't see it. He doesn't see that there is no aura. Everyone has an aura. Everyone. Why doesn't he? Is this another "mutation"? What is so special about him?

"No. Kyle. He doesn't have one. He doesn't have an aura." I say barely above a whisper, and that's when Kyle snaps.

"Okay, guys. Seriously, just tell me it can't be worse than mine." Kyle retorts.

"No, Kyle, we're dead serious. Gabe is right. There is literally no aura. I don't see a green, there isn't any other color either. Nothing, not even faint." Balthazar says calmly. Neither of us have looked away. Just giving Kyle the answers. That's probably what gave it all away, but I'm still thankful he finally understood. I knew he would, so I take a glance over for a second. His jaw is almost as low as mine was when the new kid walked through the door. Except the difference is, he's looking at us.

Balthazar and I look at each other one last time before he returns to his seat, but not before what he says what I thought earlier, "Surely this is the greatest mystery of life."


	4. After the Shock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I realize I could have taken a different turn on this story, like focus on the whole, aura thing, but I didn't thanks to a friend of mine, her influence, not her demands. So yeah, anyways hope you like this chapter. If you don't notice what I'm talking about, it's because it happens later. Also, I had time today, thanks to it being Saturday!

_Look. It's not that bad. Really. I'm fine. I'm my normal self. The trickster, Loki. I'm normal. I'm sane because I would..never.......in love.....I wouldn't......normal...life......supposed.....not like this..._

*****

The bell finally rings after what seems like forever. The only people left staring is our teacher and this new kid. The teacher glances over at Balthazar and then me when this kid says something. Then she says something in return and he turns around to look at me.

  
_Wait.....me. He's looking at me. Holy crap. He's hotter than the sun. Whoa. You're staring. Smile. Dude, he's staring back. SO SMILE._ I give my best smile, which just so happens to be the sliest grin. I don't smile when I see someone that hot. _Seriously, this guy is smoking._ His floppy brown hair is longer than my blonde hair, and trust me, its long. Shaggy too. _Kinda makes him more hot._ He's tall, obviously. I only notice how tall when he starts walking over to the seat next to me. _That's why he was looking. The teacher was pointing me out, and how there's a seat next to me....that doesn't explain why he was staring though!_ I glance over at Kyle who is smirking at me. His pale blue eyes glint, and that's when I realize his aura has changed. It's green. I stare at him in shock and he winks at me.

"Why?"

"I can't miss out on the explanation for this now can I? Plus, it's not like you'll be the one who's gonna tell Charlie. She's good at getting secrets out of everyone. But if it's a crush of yours, she either has to be there with you, or someone else has to tell her. And since that rarely happens that you actually have a crush, I'm not missing on the opportunity. And trust me, I know it will take days to tell her, because you are stubborn as all get out." He smirks at me again. He knows me too well. I tried to interrupt, but every time he came with an explanation. 'Stubborn as all get out', yes that means what it means. I will prank him and hide him from Charlie until she knows. _There is no way I'm getting out of this._  


"Hey, so are you Gabriel?" The new kid asks. _I should really ask his name._ I look over at him after giving a glare to Kyle. "Um. I'm Sam. Mrs. Hudson said you could show me around school?" _Ok so I don't have to ask._ He looks at me and almost nervous asking the question. That isn't the thing that bother me though. _You shouldn't mention it to him though. He might get angry with so many people telling him his condition. Well, whatever it is._  


"Y-yeah," I manage to stutter out. _I could get lost in those eyes._ They seem to change color, but if you look hard enough, you can tell they're a light grey. "Could I take a look at your schedule though? It may help, considering we both may have different classes....or all the same..." He handed me his schedule almost immediately and as I took a look, everything was the same.

Sam laughs nervously- or shyly?- "Yeah, they said it'd be best if someone had the exact same schedule as me, and they then chose a student at random. Looks like your the unfortunate person." He laughs again, but he looks away. _Nothing he does so far is sincere except him obviously being kept to himself._  


He keeps looking around everywhere too. At first it was just him glancing here and there but staying focused on me. Now he can hardly look at the same place for more than a second. No wait- person. He can't look at one _person_ for more than a second.

"Hey, you looking for somebody?" I smirk, and my voice nearly gives out to the real meaning.

"No. I know I don't know anyone here." He relaxes in his chair, but anyone could see he is still tense.

"So, new to the city?"

"New to the state"

"Oh I see. So what do you like? Learning? 'Fandoms'? Sports?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation going.

He only smirks and looks back at me. _Did he just glance at my lips?_ "'Fandoms'?" He asks with an eyebrow raised.

I laugh, and Mrs. Hudson gives me a glare. "Yeah, like Lord of the Rings, Marvel, DC, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Hung-"

"Yeah, OK I get it." He smiles at me. "Nah, I mean, I get references, but I'm not completely obsessed with them. My brother however, that's a different story. He won't ever specifically say it, since he has to keep up his jockish reputation." It's my turn to smile, which he returns almost immediately. _Holy crap! Are those dimples?!_ "So any thing I should really know about Lancaster?"

"What you mean besides how it's a lesser known town because of England?"

He laughs. _His laugh. It's so..so...I don't know, but I want to hear it again._ "Yeah besides that. Like anything good?"

"In my opinion? Nah, then again I've lived here. I've seen it all. The Amish places, the non-Amish places." He laughs again. The teacher shoots me another glare. _Seriously? He doesn't get in trouble? He's the one laughing. Sure, I was the one who made him laugh that heavenly laugh, but still. If it's the person who makes the other one laugh, shouldn't he have gotten in trouble the first time?_  


"We should probably focus back to the lesson." He says, a slight smile on his face.

"Yeah, but one, where's the fun in that? Two, so a school nerd then huh?" I smirk.

He snorts. _Seriously? A snort?_ "Sure, mainly because I'm not a jock. I may be tall and set up to be built like one, but I'm not. Also not a fanboy, which is the correct term by the way. So school nerd, yeah, probably." I laugh and he smiles at me. Then we focus back in class.

Then I had forgotten the most important thing about him. But for me, the most important thing at the time, was to make him happy. Okay, okay. So you could say I started having a crush then, not love and definitely not _in_ love. I think it was that moment though, that I should have realized I wasn't paying close enough attention.


	5. Anaglyphs and Stygians

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm sick, thought I'd post the next chapter

_I can't go on. Not anymore. Maybe I can finally tell you this time. Sam..... Sam....._

*****

The next few classes go well with Sam. I was right. He's a nerd, like _way_ smart. No wonder he's in my grade. He's supposed to be a freshman, but he's in all junior classes.

"He can't be a junior _in high school._ No way! That kid is way too smart. He's two years younger than us and _already_ a junior!" Michael my older brother says to me. Michael doesn't seem to mind his aura ever. His is weird too, it's green, but it wavers between red and green. Except there's no black...none. His is white, death by wounds. Most likely he's gonna get in a fight, get stabbed, live but die before he even reaches the hospital. At least that's the way I see it. Michael, although he's not popular, he's still seen as one of the top most influential students of the last five generations from our school.

"Yeah, well he is." I say not looking at Michael. I'm too busy staring at Sam. I can't keep my eyes off him.

"You like him." He nudges me. _Why do I always sit right next to him?_  


"Michael, no I don't."

"Why do you keep staring at him?"

"You don't see what I see."

"Mmmmmhhmmm." Michael smirks. I only know this because I turn to give him a glare.

"I'm not talking about his _looks_. I'm talking about his aura."

"Oh he's the new kid? Everyone keeps asking what the aura is, but none of you anaglyphs will tell us."

"What do you mean?"

"It must be really bad, since all you people say he has none," my eyes widen, "seriously what kind of joke is that? Just tell us, we all know he has one. Everyone has one." Michael then looks up over me and smiles. "Oh, hey Sam, we were just talking about you." I elbow him in the ribs and give him a glare. He smirks at me for a moment before turning back to Sam.

  
_I refuse to be in the middle of this._ I look over at Charlie had put her book down to give me a knowing look. Which then I give her a questioning one. She only proceeds to roll her eyes and mouth some words at me, to which _I_ roll _my_ eyes and mouth, 'I don't understand lips. Just because I can see your future death doesn't mean I can read lips.' She only laughs and rolls her eyes. Then she sets her book on the table and lifts one side so Sam can't see. She points in his direction and mouths clearer this time, 'You like him.'

  
_Why does everyone think that! I don't like him! He's just a new kid who has the same schedule as me. He has no aura, I've never seen someone like that. How can I_ not _stare?_  


"Hey Gabe?" I snap out of my trance and turn to Sam who looks around anxiously. I look around at the table. Kyle and Jo are deep in conversation while Michael eats his lunch looking around the lunch room. It would be creepy, except that he does that every day and we all know it's a habit of his. Charlie is focused back on her book, but I can tell by how she's reading with it lowered to the table that she's keeping an eye out for me and Sam. _I don't like him. I just can't stop staring._  


"Yeah Sam?"

"Do you know of any stygians around this school?" His voice is barely a whisper and none of the rest of the table can hear it. I see out of the corner of my eye Charlie glancing up and seeing Sam whisper to me. _Can she lay off two seconds? I don't like him._  


I stare at him confused. "Stygians?"

"Yeah, you know those who can see 'death auras'?" He looks at me like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Then I realize, he's talking about anaglyphs.

"Oh! You mean anaglyphs. That's what we call them here. Stygians... that is said to be to hellish of a word for some people. But, yeah, there's like a hundred in this school." I pause for a second. "Why?" I ask. I don't want to tell him I'm an anaglyph yet. That's what they call us, Anaglyphs. I don't know what Sam wants from us. I hardly know him.

"Okay, don't judge me, but-"

"Sam no one is going to judge you here. Everyone one of us here is weird," I start,"and not the, 'oh everyone is special and unique in their own way!'" I finish in my highest girly voice. "Seriously have you seen us? Michael looks like he's a stalker, Charlie is a complete _over the top_ fangirl. Jo and Kyle act like the perfect couple, but that's only because they are childhood friends." He only smiles with his adorable dimply smile before continuing.

"Well... I just...So my brother is a styg- anaglyph, but he refuses to tell me what my aura is, along with every other sty- anaglyph- I meet. I want to know, and I just..." He looks sad and desperate. I want to help him. If only I knew that's why he's looks so paranoid. He doesn't know....he _shouldn't_ know. Now I really can't tell him I'm an anaglyph. If I do, he will beg me to tell him. _What if they told him and he just mistakes it for a lie like Michael?_ I push the thought to the back of my mind.

"Gabe!" Kyle shouts over at me. Sam and I both turn our heads at the same time. _Oh I swear if someone mentions again that I like him, someone's gonna get a black eye._  


"Would you _please_ tell Jo I'm alright? Seriously, she won't get off my back about it. Will you please tell her my aura is green now?" Kyle is practically begging in that voice and Sam is staring at me in shock.

I close my eyes in irritation for a second before opening them and saying, "Jo, he's right. He's fine his aura is black still, but it's green like yours." But that's when I see hers change to a red. I nearly fall out of my seat in a panic.

"Whoa Gabe!" Michael grabs my arm with one hand and supports my back with the other preventing me from falling. "Gabe?!" I can't see, the room is going all red. The red keeps getting darker until I see all black. I can't breathe. _Someone help, I'm drowning._  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a reason for those names by the way.


	6. Blessing or a Curse?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I've been busy studying for finals. Not anymore, or at least my family thinks so, well here's the new chapter anyways sorry it took a little long.

_No! I couldn't tell you last time! Please I swear I will tell you. Don't leave. I swear, if you leave I can't tell you. Trust me don't leave this time. You need to hear this. Sam... Sam...is.....a...._

*****

"Gabe?.....Gabe?! GABE!" The voices sound distant. Far away. If it was anything other than my name, I don't think I would've understood it. _I'm drowning. I feel like I'm drowning._ The light seems to be at a distance, and I hate to sound cliche but at the end of a tunnel.

"Gabe?" A voice pierces through the static, clear as day. It's soft and calm. The others sounded frantic. "Gabe listen, calm down." I try breathing, but I can't. My heart is racing and I still can't breathe. "Gabe." It's still calm, the voice, it isn't forced either, like it's done this a million times. "Gabe, listen, you need to calm down. I know it's hard, but you need to breathe slowly." He sounds so close. There's other voices in the back and they sound scared, but I can't make them out. I can only hear him. "Come on. Try one big breath." I take one, it burns. _He sounds like he's whispering though. Why does he sound so close and clear? Why is he whispering? Why only him?_  


It takes a few more minutes of him telling me to breathe before I can finally breathe on my own. My vision clears and everyone from the lunch table is around me and staring at me. I look over at Jo and see her aura is still red.

"Jo." I barely manage to say after a few moments. "I'm so sorry." Everyone's eyes widen in realization. Jo is practically an unknown to the rest of the school, but to us, she's the best. She acts as everybody's little sister. She's older than me and acts like that. _She can't die._ She's kept so many of us alive. Each and everyone of us had a mix of red and black, and I've seen it. Immediately when she knows she's the first one giving us pep talks. We can't lose her. Not now. I wish I didn't have this. I don't want to know that she's gonna die soon. It's a deep red too, it's gonna be in the next week.

"Gabe." I hear that voice again. The voice that helped me breathe. I realize there's been a hand on my shoulder the entire time and I look over. _I'm so stupid._ Sam. Relief crosses my face and I let a deep breath out.

"Thanks Sam. I owe you one." I say. _He's so close. Lean in...._ He's about to say something before Charlie interrupts.

"Hey lovebirds, cute and all, but Gabe what exactly about her aura do you see?" I turn around to face Kyle and I still see the black, but luckily the green is still there.

"Kyle has black, as usual, but today there's green. Jo asked me about it and that's when I saw hers. I saw it change from a green to dark red." Everyone looks heartbroken except for Sam and Jo. I wouldn't count Jo because she is on the verge of tears.

"What about the other color?" Sam asks. My heart breaks as Jo loses it, and Kyle takes her away to help calm her down.

"Unfortunately, her other color is orange, it's a brighter orange." Now we're all on the verge of tears as Sam takes it all in. An explosion, she's nearing her death date. Any other orange and it'd be a fire, but _n_ o it _has_ to be an explosion that kills her. Hers is one none of us can ever change, it's unpredictable. Not only that, but explosions are rare enough as it is. Anyone with bright orange is practically assigned with. There's no changing that. I slam my fist on the table. Everyone looks up to stare at me, the only one shocked is Sam. He doesn't know me.

"No! I can't! Ugh!" I see the in frustration. Where the bell is she going in the next couple weeks? Her parents would never bring her on a surprise trip and we _all_ know that. No one else in this town has yellow, we know it can't be here! This doesn't make any sense! It can't happen! Logically it _cannot_ happen!" I finish my short rant as a tears start to fall down my face.

I feel a hand on my shoulder again but I don't look up to see who it is. I don't want to, not when I know one of my best friends is going to die in a few weeks. _Only a few weeks, maybe not even that long._  


Sometimes it's a blessing that I know how people die. I can have the satisfaction that I know my loved ones will be safe, or save the life of a stranger. I even became friends with someone like that. In all honesty too, sometimes I enjoy the fact of how some people will die. Some I'm ashamed of, others like Uriel and Zack, no way.

But other times, there's just nothing I can do to save them from their fate. Explosions, heart attack, disease, drowning, weapons of any sort. What's the point of this 'mutation' if I cant save people?  We know they can change, those with black choose to change from green to red or back again. What's the use then if I can't save people like Jo or Lexi? Now all I can think of it, is that's it's a curse. Knowing when people will die, how they will die, if they choose to die. None of this is fate, it's just a bad luck and circumstance.

I just can't tell anymore.


	7. The Bad and the Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in celebration of summer, I'm giving you two chapters. I'm also posting the first chapter for another fic, just to see if people like it. If they do I might continue it. This is definitely one I'm continuing, so enjoy two more chapters!

  
_Fine! I won't tell you, not since you keep leaving. Although I know that is partially my fault. This machine doesn't work right. I need time though. I know where you are, I'm not telling this story. I mean I am, but it isn't me. This is the longest I've gone infiltrating them. Trust me, turn back, it's for your sake. This story, it doesn't end happy, it will end in heart break. I ask, beg,_ plead _you don't read further. Trust me.... not safe.....danger.....crossroads...._  


_......._

_Darkness_

_......._

_Time......_

_..live_

******

The rest of the day went by in a hazy blur. My teachers were informed of the situation when Jo had asked to be let out of school for the day. _Why do they even have school for some of these kids? Obviously if some are still so willing....._ I once again snap out of my trance. That's the fourth time this hour. Luckily it's the last period of the day and I can go home right after.

"Hey, uh...Gabe?" I look over at him. I know my eyes are puffy and red with tear stained cheeks, but I stopped caring around lunch hour. "So, it's true then? You are a St-" _He's almost cute when he's frustrated. But at least he's trying to stop himself from saying it._ "Anaglyph?"

I nod my head and say, "You want me to tell you your aura don't you?" He nods his head. "Look, Sam...."

"Don't lie. Please. I've been told of don't have one, but I do! I know I do.... I just want to be told what it is. At least the color, I mean, still no one knows what pink means or the faded ones. But I _kno_ w I have an aura. _Everyone_ does." He looks at me completely serious, but also entirely helpless and desperate.

"Sam, with you mentioning it like that, I-i can't."

He suddenly gets angry at me and nearly shouts. "And why not?"

"Sam, you're asking me to lie to you."

"How?" He's only raising his voice. _Calm him down. How? I can't tell him! He won't believe me he thinks I'm lying._ "How Gabe?" Any louder and he'd be screaming. The teacher only gives us a glance before I realize what's happening. _They all think this has to do with Jo. The teacher knows somethings wrong, but they're never supposed to be told_ specifically.

"Gabe! Gabe, just tell me!" The bell saves me, and I bolt from my seat. I can feel the heat of tears threatening to overflow. _I need to get out of her_ e.

I hear shouting behind me, but I rush out of school without a glance back. Next thing I know is, I'm running. I'm home. I'm out the door again. There's no weight on my back anymore, I can only assume that's what my stop home was. Black. Red. Fire red. I'm still running. Car. Stop. Gone, go.

  
_Go!_ My mind is racing. I'm in tears. I can't feel my legs. I'm numb all over. She isn't even dead yet and I already feel like she's gone. I can't lie to him. _Why can't I lie to him?_ I'm the only friend he has so far. I hear footsteps behind me but they are far away.

I look around and everything is blurry. My hands are at my head. I'm on my knees. Black and red. Everything is stopped but two things. My heart is beating out of my chest. My mind won't stop for two seconds for me to process anything. Three things. Black and red. Four things, the footsteps.

I'm trying to catch my breath. It's no use. I'm sobbing. Shaking. All over. My head is on the ground. Tears are falling. There's a hand on my shoulder, but I don't stop. Warm arms embrace me, but I don't stop. Black and red. Black and red. I'm pulled into a chest, but I still don't stop. The sobs force their way through my body.

I'm off the ground. In someone's lap. A hand strokes across my back, but I don't stop. Sounds escape my throat, I can't make them out. I'm clinging to them like a lifeline. Red and black. In a way they are. Black and red. The tears haven't stopped. Red and black. She's gonna be gone. Black and red. I can't lie to him. Red and black. Nothing is going to be alright. Black. And. Red. That's all there will be in the end. Red. And. Black.

******

Black slowly fades into green as I calm down. It's comforting really. I still cling to the person holding me. It takes a few minutes before I realize, the person would have color. Their green and yellow or purple or brown or white or orange or blue or pink, should be comforting me. That's when I finally look up into those pair of grey eyes.

They always seem to be changing. Hazel to green to a pale blue to a light brown to a speckled gold and back again. It takes another minute before I can really comprehend what is going on. They're talking to me.

"Shhhh... Gabe. It's ok. It's ok. Everything will be alright. Shhhhh. It's gonna be fine. It's fine. Everything's alright." I can't look away from those eyes. They're mesmerizing and surprisingly calming. How they change almost every second. _Sam._  


I suddenly feel like I should break down again. "Sam." Tears have been falling and are still falling. _She's gonna die and I'm forced to lie._  


"Gabe it's ok."

"I...I can't.."

"Shhhhh. Gabe calm down. It's ok, don't talk. You don't need to." He pulls me closer to him and I bury my head in his shoulder and cry softly. _Look at you so weak and vulnerable. He isn't  comforting_ you _! Why would he? He doesn't know you. You don't know him. He probably thinks your pathetic, crying like a little baby. Isn't that what you are?_ Green bleeds into black again as my tears start to let up. _Just a wimp, so pathetic. You're worthless. You can see people's fates and you can't even help them. You're so helpless and worthless, pathetic and downright -_  


Suddenly I'm off the ground completely. As my mind makes sense of the black, I want to break down, yet again. But I still cling to Sam, because even though tears have stopped falling, it's still black. _I can't lie to him._ I don't want them to come back. The black fades into green again. _You think better when you aren't crying._  


Sam is still whispering words into my ear as I feel him start to walk. I've stopped crying and sobs no longer wrack my body. The tears have dried up, but my breath hasn't been caught. I have a headache and my mind still races, but I can feel my heart start to slow down. _She can't die._  


"We're almost there Gabe. Hang on." I just realize what he's done. He's carried me home. _Bridal style too._ I don't let go. Whether for my comfort or his, I don't know. I just know I shouldn't let go until I'm home.

I don't know how long it takes to get home, but Sam managed, all the way. My breath is caught and my mind starts to clear.

"It's ok Gabe, you're almost home." Sam cradles me closer and I still hold on tight to him, not letting go. I hear a door swing open and someone shout my name. I can feel another pair of arms reach for me and by the white that invades my vision I know it's Michael.

"Thank you thank you thank you! Thank you so much Sam!" Michael holds me close, but I keep my arms folded across my stomach. I don't want to be seen. I want to go and crawl in a dark place. Just be left alone. _She_ can't _die. I_ can't _lie._  


"No problem, really. I almost thought it was too late when I saw the car coming. I was sure...." Sam's voice breaks. "Look I've been here _one_ day, and all I know is that I feared for someone's life other than my brother's or mine."

Michael just nods at him in understanding, and Sam turns to leave.  I watch until he's out of my sight and close my eyes. I can still hear his footsteps as he walks down the block. Michael then carries me inside and walks me to my room. Just as he sets me down on the bed Hannah comes running in.

"Mikey?" She asks, oh so innocently.

"Yes, Hannah?"

"Whats wrong with Gabe?"

"Nothing Hannah. He just needs to be left alone, clear his thoughts."

"But I want to stay with Gabe!" He sighs.

"You'd have to get his permission." My eyes are still closed, they have been since Sam left. Michael is just about to answer when Hannah says something that surprised both of us.

"I just don't like seeing him surrounded by black. Usually red and green, and I don't like seeing the black instead of green." Michael has me rolled over in an instant.

"Gabe!"

"I'm fine Mike."

"GABE!"

"I said I'm FINE Mike! I just need the time alone. Hannah can stay if she wants, but she isn't going to be your spy.  I already feel horrible enough as it is." So Michael left and Hannah stayed. She kept asking me questions like 'Why did Michael freak out?' and 'What do the colors mean?'

Eventually she got hungry and went to get us both something to eat. Michael had sent her up with tomato soup and grilled cheese. So we sat there and ate, while she kept thinking up little games to play in my bedroom. _She's so sweet and innocent, really caring. Why can't I be six again?_  


After awhile I decided I should do homework, but Hannah kept thinking up games to entertain me. After about an hour she fell asleep on my bed, and I still worked on homework. After another hour I went to bed, pulling Hannah into my arms. She curled up to me and I fell asleep resting my head on hers. I gave her a goodnight kiss and she smiled a little in her sleep.

*****

The morning felt so much better. Hannah had woken up peacefully, and decided I should too.

"Hey, Gabe?" I slowly wake up and look at her. " I like it better when it's green." I smile and look down. There's no more black and it's been replaced by the same old green.

"Yeah? So do I, now come on, Mom's probably made us breakfast already.

******

I make it to my first class and see Kyle and Sam sitting next to each other. Both look relieved when I walk in. Kyle looks over at Balthazar who nods his head and goes back to talking to Lisa. I don't look at Sam though. He gets up and moves over a seat so I can sit next to Kyle and when the bell rings, Balthazar comes and sits behind me.

Thankfully the day goes smoothly, and by lunch everything is back to normal. I still can't look at Jo though. She's a sweetheart but I just can't see that red mixed with orange. _Like she's already on fire._  


A few more classes go by, everything's alright. I was looking up at the board when Sam passed me a note. I didn't notice until a few minutes later when I had to write down the assignment. _A note?_ I turn it over in my hands so few times trying to find a name, but then think it could be in the inside. There was none but when I read the message I knew.

I look over at Sam and whisper, "Sam, I'm not lying to you."

He looks at me sadly, "So I really don't have an aura?" I shake my head sadly and he looks down in disgust. "How can that happen though? _Everyone_ has one."

"I'm just as lost as you, Sam. I never would have even thought that there were people who didn't have auras until I met you." I stop and think for a moment. _What if that meant they couldn't die? But no one lives forever right?_ I let the thought drop when the teacher started the class.

*****

"NO IT ISN'T!"

"YEA IT IS!"

NO, _HE_ IS NOT A HE! IT IS A SHE! _HE_ IS ACTUALLY RAVEN DID YOU NOT SEE HER YELLOW EYES?!"

"NO IT IS STRIKER!" I roll my eyes in annoyance as Sam and Charlie fight.

"I agree with Charlie, the yellow eyes? Raven can be whoever she wants to be, she doesn't even need DNA like some mutants." Michael says calmly.

"HA!" Charlie chucks a paper at Sam's face.

"NO WAY! NO YOU DON'T GET AN OPINION! YOU SAID YOU HAVEN'T EVEN _SEEN_ IT!" Sam chucks the paper Charlie threw at Michael's face. Michael just rolls his eyes before getting up to throw it away.

"YES!"

"NO!" I roll my eyes.

"GUYS!" I scream. They both stop and stare at me. "This has been going on for ten minutes. Sam, you are wrong. It's Raven, the yellow eyes proved it. It wasn't even there for like a second and then gone. It is literally the last thing you see, and the ominous 'the future is never fully set' or whatever the line was, just proves that even more."

"Gabe your supposed to be on my side!" Sam says at the same time Charlie yells, "IN YOUR FACE WINCHESTER!" Everyone at the table rolls their eyes.

"What do you mean? Charlie's been my friend for years! Sorry, Samster but you ain't there yet. You'd have to be my boyfriend to be equal at that." Everyone at the table then stares at me. Jo and Michael exchange glances and Kyle just laughs. Charlie grabs her book and Sam's cheeks turn pink and refuses to look at me. _Wait, what did I say?_  



	8. Everything is Alright.......

I look around the lunch table again. Sam is still refusing to look at me, and now so are the rest of them. _Fine._ I give them all glares. _But they wouldn't know that because they aren't looking at me._ I stand up to leave and feel a hand grasp my wrist. I don't look back and pull out of their grip.

I leave the lunchroom in a huff and head outside to the football field. Some gym class is out and running the track, but some of them are walking. Obviously because threading want to run. I walk up the steps to the bleachers fast and sit near the top. Not too many people come out here, but there are still some groups scattered around the bleachers.

I know someone will come. Ok maybe not. They might think I'm ignoring them or that it has to do with Jo or something. I sit and wait guessing who might come. Jo, because usually she does. If not her, Charlie because she's my best friend. Michael because he knows of last night. Probably not Kyle, he might. _Sam._ Sam wouldn't come, he's been here two da-

Just as I think I've seen it all Sam comes out. I immediately think I should hide, so I stand up and grab my bag. I start walking down the bleachers and hide my face from him. I can hear him come up the steps but by that time I'm already down the steps on the other side.

I can hear him running now towards me, so I run. _I'm not dealing with this._ I'm already at the end of the track before Sam pulls me back.

"Gabe!" He says, almost pleading.

"Gabriel." I say trying not clench my teeth and say it properly.

"Wh-what?" Sam asks. His eyebrows burrowing as he gives me a confused face. 'My name. That's my name.' I want to scream and shove it in his face.

"If you're being serious with me call me Gabriel. I'm not going to sit here and listen to this crap. About all of this. Ok? So if you're being serious call me Gabriel. That way I'll know to when to walk away." I say instead. _Why can't I just say what I thought? Why did I trust him? Why am I trusting him?_  


"Gabriel..." He tries again, but instead I start walking away. "Gabe this isn't about yesterday. This isn't about Jo or Michael. This isn't about the way you'll die. This is just about you, here and now. Hear me? The here and now." He says without hesitation. _I feel like I should stop._  


So I do. I stop. I stop because I'm tired of running. I stopped because one day I'll have to deal with all this. I don't stop because he begged. I don't stop because of him.

"Gabriel, look....I-" He tries to say, but the bell rings.

"Let's go." I say walking past Sam. We make it back to the table before anyone leaves. I walk past and give them all glares again. This they'll see because they are actually looking this time.

Sam walks behind me and keeps trying to talk but he always thinks better of it every time. _Probably a good sign. I mean, at least he can catch on that I'm mad._ We get to our next class and I've calmed down considerably. Actually a lot. I tend to walk fast when I'm furious, and watching Sam trying keep up even with his long legs was kind of hilarious.

The next two classes went by in somewhat of a haze. I say somewhat, because Sam kept passing me notes.  I didn't read them, but I kept them. _Why did I keep them?_ Finally last hour comes and Sam is in the seat next to me, again. _You don't find this annoying do you? It's been two days, I'm still pretty much his only friend, and I'm the only person he knows in_ every _class._  


Sam passes me yet another note, and this time I read it. I look at him out of the corner of my eye and I can see him watching me with a little anticipation and nervousness. When I grab the note, he turns back to his notes but still watches me. When I start to open the notes, he smiles and gives a face of realization and burries his head in his hands. _Is his face red?_  


  
_Omg. Really? -_ Youre never gonna read this so why not? Stop being a big bag of dicks and talk to me you freak. Ok I don't mean freak as in seeing death and all. I just mean freak as in TALK TO ME!!! Wow I sound desperate. You should really talk to me. I'm going insane. Why did you keep the notes? It's not like I would be offended if you threw them away. How am I going to end this? Oh well you aren't gonna read this anyway. -Sam

I look over and Sam still has his head hurried in his arms on his desk. I can only laugh at him. _He's so adorable when he's all flustered like that._  


"So are you just going to sit there or are we gonna talk?" I smirk. "Seriously, you've refused to talk, then me, Sammo you're gonna talk this time around." He turns his head to look at me but still keeps his head on the desk then smiles. _Those dimples are going to be the death of me._  


"Would this be considered our first fight? We haven't even been friends a day and we've already fought." He laughs before he hurries his face again.

"Wait would this even be considered a fight?" I ask.

"Probably."

"Why?"

"Because we refused to talk to each other."

"I thought if it was I'd you refused to actually do stuff for each other?"

"Fine, but it's not like you read my notes. Or passed them back! There's your 'stuff'." He complains. I laugh at him.

"That doesn't count."

"Fine then we can about the stuff you _did_ do. You didn't wait for me in the hallways-"

"That's a did _not._ "

"Shut up." I laugh at him again. "You didn't read any of my notes-"

"That's another _didn't_ and I _did_ read one."

"Yeah, _one."_  


"If we're still on the subject of what I _did_ do, I _did_ keep the notes."

"You think you're gonna win this aren't you?"

"Duh. I mean, I _am_ only one who _actually_ came up with things that I _did_ do." I smirk.

"Fine. You win, that wasn't our first fight." He says in exasperation. Then he pauses and looks at me with a sly smile. "Although this entire conversation was technically our first fight."

"What? No! How?!" He just laughs at me.

"Because we kept saying we were right."

"You give in easily you know that?"

"Yes, but your changing the subject."

"But I'm not giving in."

"But evasion typically means that person doesn't want to reveal the truth, and like 87% of the time the first person spoke the truth."

"So?" I say angrily.

"So, you're saying I'm right?" He gives me a smug look.

"No. Because we were just discussing if it was a fight. We never specified what side we were on." I try and explain in a harsh tone.

"So a fight." He says calmly. _So this is just a game to you? Fights are serious, and not something to joke about. Even if it is a little squirmish, and he just acts like it's nothing! I'm probably getting too worked up over this. But Sam, I don't want to fight you!_  


"NO! For crying out loud Sam! You want a fight here's your stupid fight!" I say in frustration. The bell rings and I get up leaving Sam in the dust again.

"Gabe. Gabe wait." He says trying to calm me down.

"No."

"Gabe!"

"No! No, Sam! You want a fight, here it is."

"Gabe, I don't want to fight-"

"Really because it sure seems like it! First you refuse to look at me because of something I say. Then you say what was a cold shoulder was a fight, then a discussion was a fight-"

"GABE!" Sam yells pulling me back from the curb. A car speeds by us and Sam continues pulling me away from the road. I realize in that moment I hadn't stopped walking. That I was walking towards home and too angry to care what happened.

I look after the car in shock. _That's the second time in two days._ I'm still looking when I come to my senses and feel a hand on my elbow. I look up at Sam then and he's looking down at me in worry. _Sam._  


"I'm fine." I tell him sincerely.

"Gabe, no you're not. That's the second time in two days. I've only known you two days. Look I understand not _all_ of it was my fault, because Jo. But the rest was me, and I'm sorry. Look I don't think this happens to you, since you'd probably be dead by now."

"Sam, it's fine. I haven't been myself lately and I'm just not paying attention." He nods and turns to leave. _No, wait._ I pull him back into a hug and say, "Thanks. You've saved my life twice, now." I back up from him. "I shouldn't have been angry and I overreacted." He opens his mouth, but interrupt before he says anything. "No. No more chick-flick moments. Don't you even start." I say backing away with a slight smile on my face.

"But oh! I should not have said those things in the first place my dear king!" Sam smiles as he continues in a ridiculous old English accent. "If not for me, you would never have been in such a predicament! Therefore I grant you one wish, and that shall be how my death shall proceed!" He ends with a dramatic bow.

"Really? That's the most medieval you could go?" I say when he stands back up.

"Shut up." He retorts, both of us have smiles on our faces.

"Well fine! Then I shall never give you a proper sendoff!" I start with my best medieval accent. Then start to walk away with a smirk on my face.

"Farewell king! For I shall see you in the morning! Since we both have seen that you have forgiven me of my days transgressions!" Sam yells to me when I'm halfway down the block. _He's so ridiculous._  


*****

The next day I'm sitting in class before Sam even walks in. Kyle tries to talk to me about how they all felt horrible about lunch yesterday. But I brush him off, saying what I said to Sam, I wasn't in my right mind.

That's when Sam walked in, and Kyle stopped mid sentence to look at him. I look over and Sam is already walking towards us and to his seat.

"So, my king. How art thou in this fine morning?" I roll my eyes and Kyle gives a strange look. Which I ignore to play along with Sam.

"Minion, how remarkable it is to see thou today. I am well, but I must ask how you are today. Have you been treated well?" I try and say without laughing. Sam does, but continues anyways.

"I am quite well thank you, my king- ok enough I'm gonna die of laughter." I start laughing with him. _It's so ridiculous how we can both go and do something like that. I haven't even known him three days._  


We don't stop laughing. It was one of those times where we'd calm down, look at each other, and start laughing all over again. Kyle just kept looking over and looking like he didn't want to know us, or pretended he didn't know us.

*****

_So everything then turned out great didn't it? Life was great and everything was alright. This was my life! This was supposed to be my life!! My life was ruined! It only took a year. A year before my life came crashing down and now I'm here. Stuck in this jail, waiting to get out. This isn't the last you've heard from me. No. This isn't the last, if anything- this is just the beginning........_


	9. Everyone's together but you and me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so chapter nine and I forgot to say sorry for any mistakes. I've tried to fix as much as possible, but if you still see a problem please tell me. Also, I should be posting a little more, school is finally out! So, enjoy!

  
_So what do you think? I'm in jail. Am I evil? Everyone thinks that, because he's dangerous. He's_ not _'dangerous'. He's different so what? He's just a......no.....not.....fading out........no! *growls and screams from far away* No you can't take them! Stop it! *Clang and rattle of metal* No! NO! *mix of panting and deep breathing* It isn't their fault. It isn't their fault. It isn't our fault. It isn't their fault. It isn't my fault. It isn't their fault. It isn't his fault. It isn't their fault........_  


_******_

It's been a week since the incidents and I feel great. Jo, thankfully, still hasn't died. She's almost getting sick and tired of us treating her to everything. We haven't given her gifts, because it's just hard for everyone. Jo won't know how long she'll truly have it, and we know we wouldn't want to let it go.

So we treated her to football games, dances, dinners, ice cream, and just anything that would give us good memories. She and Michael got close, too. He was always trying to get her to a new place every night. I knew from the get go he's always had a crush on her. I just can't help but feel bad because once he has her, he won't let go until he has to.

Anyways, so I'm sitting at the lunch table talking to Sam when Charlie interrupts.

"Hey Gabe can I see a kiss?" She smiles wide and innocent.

"I thought you were-"

"Not with me! I meant-" Before she can finish I stand up and grab the girl nearest to our table and kiss her. Then she slaps me across the face, calls me a pig. So I explain my friend asked me too, well dared me to.

"Oh well, then I'm sorry for calling you a pig. But I little warning would have been nice, so I'm not apologizing for the slap." She tells me.

"No I deserve both, I wasn't thinking rationally. Too be honest, she wants me to kiss my one friend, who.... well let's just say my entire table thinks I like him."

"Understood. All my friends are trying to hook me up with this one chick, just because we both have red hair. It also may be because my death is supposed to be heart break, and so they're trying to get me to not be afraid of falling in love." I nod. I've already admired her mix of colors. Of course there's green, but some people have an unusual death, so they have more than two colors. Hers colors fit how she will die, darker blue and purple mixed with a tinge of black.

"I see, well it is a beautiful assortment of colors. Anyways, her name is....?" I ask.

"Oh, Thanks. I didn't know you were an Anaglyph."

"Yeah, I am. Anyways, her name is..?" I try again.

"Cool, and I have no idea."

"And your name is...?" She laughs at that.

"Anna. Yours?"

"Gabriel. Nice to meet you Anna, and I do apologize for the way we met."

"All is forgiven, anyways, can I meet this friend of yours? She sounds cool and honestly sounds like my type."

"Pretty forward aren't you?"

"Says the guy who kissed me without even asking my name, or consent but I did say that was forgiven."

"Touche. Anyways, right this way." I gesture to my table that's only two feet away. She groans.

"Please tell me the redhead was not the one who dared you."

"Hey, I've already committed one sin, I'm not committing another."

"Crap."

"Her name's Charlie by the way." I look over at Charlie who is kind of glaring at me. So then I look towards Sam for an explanation, but he's only looking down at his hands. "Anyways there's an extra seat at our table because my brother decided not to show up, so you can take his seat."

Anna walks over and takes a seat next to Charlie. I then walk over and take my seat again next to Sam.

"Dude, you ok?" I question nervously. _What's he all of a sudden so worked up about?_ He lifts his gaze up from the table and gives me an accusatory look, and is about to speak when Michael decides to show up.

He runs up to the table and asks, "I'm looking for a girl." Some people glance his way.

"Aren't we all?" Charlie asks smiling and stealing a glance towards Anna. Michael just rolls his eyes.

"Not just _any_ girl. She's the girl of my dreams!" Michael says quickly. More students start to look towards our table.

"Michael is this another part in the play you are writing?" Kyle tries.

"No! You don't understand! All my life I have been searching for her!" Michael continues. Now half the cafeteria is silent and watching Michael confess his love. "She holds the stars in her eyes!" He starts walking and looking at certain people.

I roll my eyes. It's almost ridiculous, but everyone knows he does this because he gets nervous easily. Sometimes I wish I had the guts to do that. Meanwhile Michael has captured the attention of the entire cafeteria now, and has walked over to a group of girls.

"Don't you ever wish you had someone like that? Someone to keep you grounded. Even when all hope seems lost? They're the reason you still see good in the world?" Michael steps up into one of the tables and looks around. "Who's ever been in love?" A multitude of hands go up. But Michael looks straight at Jo.

Surprisingly she has her hand raised, but you can tell she's nervous. Her hand is raised only to her head and she looks around nervously. _Almost as if avoiding Michael's eye contact._  


"None of you have been in love the way I have though. We all fall differently." He presses on, slowly descending from the table. He doesn't look away from Jo. "We all fall for different people. I just so happened to fall in love with a beautiful girl. She wouldn't take that as a compliment though."

He gives a short laugh. "No, her compliments would be how independent, supportive, and strong she is. Not because she's compared to a guy though, no, as she's strong because she's tough. She'll fight anything and everything that stands in her way." He walks to our table not taking his eyes off Jo.

_"I'm in love! There! See? I confessed! I'm in love with the toughest girl out there. I'm about to lose and I don't care. All I know is I want her because I'm in love with her." He stops right in front of Jo. The bell rings, but no one moves._

Jo's smiling. She nods her head and stands up. Everyone in the lunchroom starts clapping. Some people stand up and others cheer. People start leaving and that's when they share a kiss and walk away hand in hand.

"Dang, he's good." Anna says.

"Pfft. Please, I can be way more romantic than that." Charlie says in a prideful ton.

"Either way no one expects Michael to be like that because he's always silent and orderly. Really once you get past that cold, hard interior, he's a lovable teddy bear." I say enthusiastically. Sam turns to leave.

"Yeah, but you still can't get the guy." Kyle says.

"What?" I say shocked and confused.

"You know exactly what Gabe. You should catch up with him before he starts to think otherwise about you."

"Hey, I don't like him like that. Sam's a sweet kid, but-" I start to explain but Kyle pushes me away from the table towards Sam.

"No 'explanations'. The correct term is excuses by the way. So you are going to do it whether you it's not."

"Kyle!" I shout.

"Gabe!" Kyle whines.

"I don't like him like that!" I say.

"Bull, but I'm not gonna push it. You better go though."

"Yeah, I should apologize to for not going after him." I say mostly to myself. I run to my next class. _Why am I running? To see Sam.Sam. Sam. Do I like him like that?_ I slow down approaching the classroom. I walk on and my heart breaks when I see Sam talking to a bunch of other people.

_Why does that hurt so much? He's gotta leave our group and find his right? That's what he planned all along, right? Plus it's just Sam. Coolest guy I know. Why do I care so much? Why does it hurt to see him with other people? Am I jealous? No way, it's good for him he's getting friends. Finally can reach out, make friends with more than just me._

_******_

  
_NO! *metal clanging* Why would you show them that! No! *more clanging* They weren't supposed to see that! No, you don't understand! It wasn't me! I had a crush! Look at me blaming it on him! No! So many people wanted to be his friend, they were intimidated by me. That's right_ me. _It was my fault, I held him back. If he had just kept them..... he never would've fallen for me. It's my fault we're here. Mine._  


_He wanted to be with me. He did, he kept trying to call to me, but they always interrupted him. Trust me it wasn't his fault. It was mine. You weren't supposed to see that. No. *far away echoed voice* I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL GET OUT AND FIND YOU AND KILL YOU! HE DOESN'T BELONG HERE! None of us do......_

_******_

I sit down at my seat and focus on my work. My mind wanders over to Sam every time I try though. _He probably hates me now. Whatever I did that made him angry. That he had to_ leave. _Then I didn't even go after to apologize for whatever. Ugh I'm such a horrible person, I've treated him unfairly from the start. He deserves so much more. Not me....._  


The bell rings and a I'm leaving for the next class, somebody picks up my backpack. I turn to face grey eyes that are constantly changing. _Smile. I don't want to. Reassure him your fine though._ I smile. _I hope he doesn't see the pain behind it. Why am I in pain? It's not like I like him, I don't....right?_ He gives a sigh of relief and smiles back.

"Sorry, I tried to get away from them, but they just wouldn't leave me alone. Come on, let's get to our next class." He smiles again, a little more confidently this time around. He stands up and carries both our backpacks to our next class, while he and I both talk.

******

"What? Wait. Whoa, wait. Really? Charlie that's fantastic!" I tell enthusiastically into the phone.

"What?" Sam says from across the room. I hold up my hand and listen to Charlie.

"Oh she told you that too? Charlie that's great. Wow, so Jo and Michael now you and Anna all in one day? - Mmmm, maybe, I wouldn't know. For their first one they probably wouldn't want to double date." I can hear Sam sigh from across the room. I turn towards him.

"Sorry, I'll be done in a minute, then we can study." I whisper to him after taking the phone away from my mouth a little bit. He just rolls his eyes and turns away giving a look of.... _regret? sadness? was that a little jealousy too? Why would Sam be jealous? And of who?_  


"Well call him yourself......then call her. I'm not asking for you!" I hear Sam give a short laugh from over by my desk. "Yeah ok, bye. Good luck! Oh, and congrats again!" I hang up the phone and walk back over to Sam who's been waiting patiently.

"So, are you ready to get to work now?" He asks with an amused look on his face.

"Yeah." I smile and we get to work. _Seems like everyone's together, but you and me._  


"Do you think Kyle likes anybody?" He asks out of the blue.

"No, he never has. He probably never will either. Lately his color changed back to red so..." Sam gives a small nod and turns back to our math homework.

"It's too bad really." He finally says. _Yeah. Too bad._  



	10. Can't We Finally Be Together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to post this tonight, but something came up, and I had time to now. So here you go. Enjoy!

  
_*static* *echoed shouting* Hello?! Anyone there? Come on! I_ know _I'm not alone!! *distant yelling* I WILL BE AS LOUD AS I WANT! *clang of metal* *static* *small, near, sigh* Back again? It's been so long.... It's been a few months since I could get a message through. I've waited so long. I haven't heard any news of him. They haven't killed him, I know. I_ _know._ _You can't. It's impossible. They've tried._  


_Can you hear me? I can't tell if this is working as well as before. This...this radio. It broke. I tried-*sob* to fix it. You've been gone months. I don't know who you are, but I need you here. The only reason I have this is because of him._

_Sam? Sam are you out there? This line is supervised, so they can cut it off any time. *soft crying* They've been doing that. Now that it broke, I don't know. Whether they know or not. Whether it broke, or that possibly their connection dropped and they can no longer hear me. I don't know. *louder crying* Why isn't this taken away then? Maybe they are connected, but hear nothing, and they think I'm just silent. That I'm going crazy...... *crying in background*_

_Truth is I am Sam. I'm going insane. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all that happened. *loud sob* I didn't want any of this to happen. Sam, don't come and save me. Don't! It's a trap. *shaky voice* That's the truth in why I have this. They're going to try to capture you if you ever try to come and get me. Don't come! Sam don't come I'm begging! Sam. Please. If you can hear me I just want to say- *static*_

_******_

_Sam~_

_"Gabe?! Gabe!! NO!" I scream at the high tech radio. I turn to the man next to me. "Do something, Frank!" The man just rolls his eyes._

_"I can't. Obviously the signal from his side is gone. Whether it was cut off or the connection's bad, I don't know. Either way, I can't fix it." My anger gets the better of me and I throw Frank against the back wall of the trailer._

  
_"Look man. I've searched nearly_ _every_ _jail looking for him! Now he says I can't save him! I know now that I can't! Now the connection is lost,_ _yet again!_ _" I furiously scream at him._  


_"Look I see that but there's nothing I can do to get the connection back! Even if I tried!" He yells back pathetically. I take my hands off his throat and sit back down. I put my head in my hands._

  
_"Ok, alright. I'm sorry. Let's just...." I say weakly._ What am I going to do without him? I've spent months away from him, and now I can't even be the one to save him. If I only I could hear his voice again......

*******

(that was only one of the few times it will ever be Sam's pov)

Monday comes rolling around and I'm constantly hearing of the two couples. _Just shut up!_ I'm tired of hearing all of it. _It's not fair!_ How _in lov_ e Charlie and Anna are. How Anna's friends were right and that they really could be the perfect couple. How Michael refuses to leave her side whenever they're together. _It's pathetic really. Holding onto something you know you'll never see again. Constantly in hope that your own hope and faith will keep you together or bring you back together._  


I sit at the table for breakfast for the first time since elementary school. I eat my pancakes when Michael comes in. I'm too busy thinking of how Jo dropped out of school. She's a senior anyways, she knows all she needs to. That's another thing, she's living with us now. _Why me?_  


"Wow, someone's in a sour mood. I've never seen anyone eat pancakes so...so...." Jo starts.

"Sour?" Michael finishes with a smile on his face. He wraps his arms around Jo's waist and kisses her cheek from behind. _Ugh._  


"Shut up." I snap.

"Whoa, Gabe. You ok?" Michael says, pulling away from Jo and grabbing a plate, only to go back and steal a kiss from Jo. _Seriously, enough PDA._  


"Just leave me alone." I snap again, angrier than the first time. Michael looks me curiously and then kisses Jo on the cheek. I roll my eyes.

"I see. Someone's jealous." Michael says with a smirk on his face.

"Jealous of what? A star-crossed love? Because it's _forbidden_ or you _know_ one of them will die or one of them can't reach the other? No thanks. That's just the thing though, you're together, great! Spending time together, fantastic! But why don't you just face the facts and remember she's going to die in less than a few weeks! You're love won't matter! It never did! You can't have a kid! You can't have a family! What's the point! I don't understand how you could just ignore what inevitably _will_ happen, whether you like it or not because of your _stupid_ _star-crossed LOVE!"_ I finish my rant practically screaming.

During that time I had finished eating, almost slammed my dishes in the sink still making loud noises, which scared Hannah and made Castiel flinch, and grabbed my backpack off the back of the chair. All the while Michael and Jo stared at me, jaws dropped in shock, Castiel staring at his plate most likely trying to shut me out, and Hannah almost ready to cry.

Now Hannah's in tears and Castiel is trying to comfort her. Michael straightens up, "Gabe-"

"Don't you _Gabe_ me," I sneer. "And if you were telling me to leave, too late. I already was going to." I say as I turn and storm out of the kitchen. Just as I was walking towards the door my mother comes down the stairs.

"Gabe?" My mother starts.

"I'm fine." I say bitterly, opening the front door.

"Gabe! Gabriel!" My mother yells. I slam the front door and walk down the street in anger.

  
_Stupid. That's what this_ _all_ _is. Perfect couples. Star-crossed lovers._ I walk to school trying to forget it all. I walk into first hour early. So early, that even Kyle isn't there. I sit there and hold in all my anger as other students look on in pity. _It's because of Jo isn't it?_  


After two minutes Sam comes running in through the door. He looks over at me and rushes over.

"Gabe-" He starts, but interrupt by I attempting a smile and he gives me a look. "Gabe." My smile drops and I slam my head on the desk.

"Whaaaat? Can't people just leave me alone today?" I whine.

"Gabe-" Sam tries again.

"No. Don't you _Gabe_ me," I repeat what I said to Michael this morning to Sam. "I'm done. I can't stand them."

"Is this because of Jo's upcoming death?" He asks warily.

"No it isn-" I start to explain.

"Then why?" Sam interrupts. "Whats gotten you so worked up? You were fine Friday. You even sounded happy Friday when Charlie told you about her and Anna. So I _know_ you were fine."

"I don't know. I guess it's because-" I start with a small voice.

"What?" Sam bends down to look me in the eyes. _Sam._ I look into the grey eyes that are ever changing. _It's because we Aren't together._  


"I don't know!" I raise my voice. "I don't. Maybe I'm sick of hearing about all of it. I mean can you blame me? Both have been together since Monday and they won't stop talking about each other! Like for crying out loud you've been together three days! Four days now but that isn't the point. One is star-crossed the other is perfect. I already hate hearing of fictional couples all around, _especially_ those kinds. Now there's two _and they won't shut up!_ And like I said before, IT'S BEEN _FOUR_ DAYS!" I finish my second rant of the day. I rest my head back in the table. _Great, second one and it's still morning._  


"Gabe. Do you think it's because your jealous?" Sam asks in a serious tone. He looked almost hopeful when he said jealous.

"No, why would I be jealous? I'm happy they're all together. I just.... I don't know maybe." I say looking away from Sam. He puts a reassuring hand in my arm and I smile slightly in thanks, but I still don't look at him. The bell rings and I sit up. Sam goes to sit in his seat next I look over towards Kyle's seat. My eyes widen and I start panicking. "Sam?" I look over at him and looks towards Kyle's seat.

"Oh, right. Don't worry, he will be here today. His mom had to take him to an appointment." He replies calmly. I relax in my seat.

******

It's fourth hour and I can't think straight. _They're going to be so mad at me. They're going to ask so many questions. What am I going to answer?_ I bury my head in my arms in the desk.

Sam looks over at me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, you ok?" He asks calmly and I nod. "Yeah, ok you're not. Is it about lunch?" I nod again. "Ok, so what if we didn't go to the cafeteria? We can go out and get McDonald's or Taco Bell or something. Sound ok?" I nod my head for a third time. I sigh in relief of not having to face the two couples. Especially Michael and Jo after this morning.

******

"Would you mind if I chose where we went?" Sam says as he and I walk out of school and to my car. I'm just so relieved to not having to face the couples that I dont care.

"I thought I would get to choose since I'm the one needing to be cheered up?" I tease. "But fine, I wouldn't mind. Just tell me where to go." I concede as we both get in my car.

Having Sam give me directions wasn't as big deal for me as it probably should have. I just keep remembering, he should be a freshman he's barely old enough to get a learning permit.

After a few minutes and still not getting to our destination, I start to get worried. "Hey, Sam?" I ask nervously.

"Only a couple more turns, Gabe, then we'll be there." Sam replies. _How did he know what I was going to ask? Then again we have been driving for a while. He may have expected it sooner or later._ Well Sam was right, after a few more turns we got to an old diner.

"Whoa, what is this place? How'd you find this?!" I ask excitedly, hardly being able to keep a smile off my face. "Really, it's amazing. Like its got this old rustic theme going on, but you can still tell it's been in business for years too." I continue while getting out of the car. Sam just laughs at me.

"They're old friends of ours. It isnt far from the city as you can tell. Only about a ten minute drive. But with that, we may want to get it to go." Sam answers smiling sheepishly.

"Connections. Cool." I joke and Sam laughs at me again. We walk inside and- " _Ellen?!"_ I almost scream. "Wait, you know Ellen?" I ask, turning to Sam. "Whoa, so _this_ I'd the diner Jo talks about. So, this is _the_ diner?" Ellen and Sam laugh.

"Yeah, Jo loves the place, she just doesn't like her friends knowing about it for some reason." Ellen finally says. As Ellen gets our food, I learn a lot about Sam's childhood. Like how Sam's dad knew Ellen because they lived in a town near here. _Sam moved a lot._  


"You have a terrible dad." I finally say after being silent and listening to most of Sam's childhood. _What kind of father constantly moves his kids around? Nearly endangers them of being orphans because of his of drinking problem? Like he_ _wanted_ _to drink himself to death, so he would've left them here to fend for themselves. Well, at least it wasn't any worse...._  


"Had." Sam comments.

"Had?"

"Yeah, when we met up with Ellen it was about two years ago. She tried getting my dad to stop drinking but he refused. So he moved out west. Thing was though, Ellen had moved the diner east about ten years before that. So she had connections out there. Mostly around South Dakota, where my Uncle Bobby lives. I like to think of it as luck, but we had moved out to South Dakota near Uncle Bobby's place. Ellen had called him up and told him of the whole situation, and then he got on my dad's tail about it. So we moved even more frequently, and he changed our numbers trying to get away from them. Eventually though he gave in, because no matter where we moved, they always got a hold of our numbers. They'd specifically ask for us, only willing to talk to him if he was willing to give up drinking. He finally conceded about a month ago and is currently in rehab." Sam explains.

  
_So his dad came so close to abusing them physically, still abused them emotionally. Mostly his brother Dean, who's an anaglyph. He basically uprooted them from whatever roots they tried to make, just for his own selfish needs._ "I still say he's an awful dad, but at least he's trying now." _And this all happened because of an accidental house fire that killed Sam's mom._ "Wait, do you actually know what he's going to die of?"

"Alcohol, but the colors say drunk driving. So it could be him or someone else. We _hope_ someone else, but it's not like anyone can be sure." Sam explains to me. I look over at Ellen and realize for the first time her colors.....are the same as Jo's. My eyes widen in alarm.

"Ellen?" She looks over at me.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Ellen asks cautiously.

"Are you aware you have the same colors as Jo?" I ask with just as much caution in my voice as Ellen did. She closes her eyes and sighs.

"Anaglyph. S _o you're_ the _other_ brother. Yes, we have both been aware of it for sometime." She says.

"But the diner..." Sam starts to ask before Ellen interrupts.

"Will be in good hands thanks to my friend Ash. Yeah, already figured that out. He'll keep it running when I'm gone. Anyways shouldn't you boys be getting to school?" She questions as she sets her food on the countertop.

Sam and I exchange a glance of alarm and grab our food and rush out to the car. Thankfully we make it back to the school.with a few minutes left to spare. So we cram the food down our throats and head inside when the bell rings. All the while I can't keep a smile off my face, and I don't know why.

******

"No way can that combination taste good!" Sam says obviously disgusted.

"Thank you!" I laugh. "Finally someone understand me."

"Yeah well ok. First of all, roses aren't even edible. Second, that's like having a romantic dinner at a pub. Gross." Sam makes a face and I laugh at him.

"Well, it's supposed to be good according to Kyle, so take it up with him I wouldn't know." I say. Sam goes quiet for a minute. I decide to look over. "What?"

He shakes his shaggy haired head. _I wish it would rain or something, so I had a reason to touch him. Ugh._  


"Nothing,I'm just worried about him that's all. I mean what would it be like, to hate yourself so much your willing to die? Let alone even do it yourself. I mean, that takes a lot of courage. It takes a lot to fight, and a lot to give up so much. I can't.... I just..." He stops.

"Yeah, well I'm worried to. But I know he won't for a while because of...." Then I stop.

"Because of?" Sam inquires looking eager.

"Nothing." I say. "Hey I never asked, what's your favorite book?"

I ask, trying to change the subject.

"You're changing the subject." He says determined.

"You mean I made you change your favorite book? So what did you like mysteries and now adventure?" I smile.

"Ye-what? No, Gabe, you know that's not what I meant." Sam's cheeks turn pink.

"The subject of the conversation? I was merely diverging the conversation elsewhere."

"Changing the subject."

"Fine, have it your way. But it did distract you didn't it?"

"Distract me from what?" Just as Sam finishes the question, the bell that ends last period rings.

"Buh-bye." I tell him before running out of the room giggling.

"Gabe!"

"Oh, crap." I run to my locker. For the second time today, I can't keep a smile off my face. Sam comes running up behind me just as I close my locker. Just as I turn to run again, Sam slams me against the locker.

"Bit rough there eh Samster?" I smirk.

"Because of?"

"Because of what?"

"Don't play stupid, Gabe. Come on, I'd like to know what keeps Kyle alive." My smile falters. _Just another roadblock huh? Why cant we just finally be together?_  


"Fine, some couple. You know hot Charlie says OTP and ships? Yeah well he ships-" _us._ I so badly want to say it. I can't though. _What if Sam doesn't like me like that? I mean we've been friends for a while, but we've gotten really close. But if I tell him and he does, what about Kyle?_  


  
_"_ Who?"

"I-i"

"Gabe!"

"I don't know Sam!" I blurt out. _No! Wait! Sam I know! It's us!_ He frowns and sets me down on the ground. He looks down at our feet, and suddenly I'm aware of how close we are. _Sam._  


"Figures. I don't know, I was hoping..." He looks towards the exit and starts walking.

"Hoping for what?"

"Well, to be honest, I hoped he shipped me with this person I like. But really it's just a stupid crush." He says, his cheeks turn pink again. _He already likes somebody. It's you, you dimwit. No, now that's just selfish. If it is me I'll let him tell me or_ \- I stop when Sam's hand intertwined itself around mine.

It's when we get to the house that's when he lets go of my hand. _Almost like he's done this everyday. Like a habit. That would explain why he's so nonchalant about it.What if he has and I just haven't noticed? Or maybe he didn't know either?_ We go up to my room, same as any other day. We set to work on our homework and I think about all of our times together, even in just a couple weeks.


	11. How much do I lov-LIKE..uh you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my personal favorite chapters. It's kinda confusing at first, because of all the flashbacks, but I tried to make the transitions as easy as possible. I also tried to fix as many mistakes as possible, so if you find some either tell me or just skip over it. Otherwise, enjoy!

**(flashback= ¥)**

"Sam! Sa-am!" I whine and laugh.

"You know for a junior, you are pretty ticklish." He says smiling.

"Sam, get off!" I demand between laughs.

"No. Not until you promise to not do it anymore." He replies commanding.

"NEVER! Haha C-can't hahaha bre- Sa-sam!!" I shout still laughing. He stops tickling me, and holds his hands firmly at my sides. He smirks with pride as he looks down at my flushed face. "Fine I promise. Also, I hate you."

"You love me."

"No I don't, I hate you. Taking advantage of me like that." I pout.

"Then you shouldn't have thrown the whole box of tissues AT MY HEAD! FIVE TIMES!"

"It's not like you have a concussion!"

"You're so annoying."

"Why are you around me so much then?" I ask trying to sit up.

"Because, in case you forgot, we have all the same classes as each other." He answers, keeping his hold on me.

"Let me go!" I struggle underneath him.

"No." He replies calmly, keeping me pinned to the bed.

"This is so not fair! You're like two years younger than me. Yet you're taller and stronger!" I complain.

"So that's why this is so easy." He says jokingly with a huge smile on his face. _Just a little closer. Seriously Sam, you are like two inches away._  


"Boys! Dinner is ready!" My mom calls to us. Sam looks up. I take advantage of it and bolt from the bed. Sam loses his balance and falls to the floor. I laugh at him, his tangled limbs everywhere.

"Come on Clumsy. My mom's waiting on us." I smile, holding my hand out for him to grab. He smiles and takes it willingly. He then pulls me to the ground and runs downstairs. "Cheater!" I laugh.

**(end of flashback = €)**

I lay on my bed, doing homework with Sam sitting at my desk as usual. I smile fondly at the memory. I don't know how it happened, but it seems like we've known each other forever. It's barely been a month. The thing is, I spend almost all my time with him. So whenever I want to think about him, I don't have to, he's right there with me. Unfortunately this means that I can't talk to anyone about it, because he's _right there._ It also means I can't hide....some things. Mostly blushing, but sometimes that isn't the most obvious thing.

*******¥

"Saaaaaaaam!" I whine in annoyance.

"Gabe, I have to finish this, unlike you who decided to procrastinate."

"But Saaaaam! We could do so much more than just homework." It's quiet for a minute while I think. "Like, we could take a drive someplace. Find amazing views. Go downtown or..."

"Gabe, I have homework, and if you were to be smart about it, you'd get yours done too. Also let's have common sense. We can do those things on the weekends, but do we ever do them?"

"UGGGGHH. No." I reply in a small voice. After a pause I say, "Fine, but you're going to help me." I walk over and grab my bag and sit on the desk next to Sam. He looks up slightly red. "Wow your face is red. See look, you need a break. You're thinking too much. Your head has been down in that book far too long. Let's go." I say and grab his hand pulling him towards the door. He reluctantly comes, but drops all the books on his lap in the process.

"Fine, but then homework?"

"Then homework." I promise.

******€

I look over at Sam now, who is doing his homework. Almost the same position as he was the first day he came over to study with me. I don't really know how that happened either. One day he's walking me home because his house isn't that far from mine. Mine's just on the way to his. The next, he's studying and doing homework at my place like he's done it his entire life.

I watch him as his hair kind of flops whenever he moves his head to another book. I laugh to myself. _How did I even start crushing on this guy? All it was...was... what did it even start out as?_  


*****¥

I slowly pour the solution from the container into the other substance, of something. I don't know anymore.

"Gabe, stop!" Sam shouts and grabs my hand. The liquid suddenly explodes in our faces.

"And that is an example of what _not_ to do and why we wear safety glasses." I hear the teacher say. I take off my glasses with one hand.

I look at the substance that is suddenly drying to our clothes. I look over at Sam, he looks irritated, but mostly like he's trying to keep from laughing.

"Oops?" I offer with a slight smile. Sam instantly gives a wide smile. I look down again and almost blush when I see he hasn't let go of my hand. I move my hand slowly out of his hand and set the container away from the mess.

My hand still feels warm where he held it. I try to ignore the feeling and look back over at Sam and see him staring at me. I smile again, but a little in confusion.

"You should actually clean that out, and then I'll clean up the rest of it." So we did, and were sent home to change our clothes. Our chemistry class was seventh hour, so they let us stay home for the rest of the day.

******€

  
_Oh.... so if it was a crush then... what is it now?_ Sam looms over and I quickly look down. _Wow, that couldn't have said I like you more than just outright saying it._ I look up again and Sam's staring at me.

"What?" I ask nonchalantly.

"Do you want a break?" He asks in reply.

"Hells yeah!" I get up and am out the door before he can start to laugh at me.

*****¥

"Look Gabe, it's your future girlfriend!" Jo says pointing at a crudely drawn stick figure.

"Really, Jo? Real mature." Sam says. We were out walking through the town and looking for shops. None of us really wanted to go in any, but our parents said we _had_ to get out.

"Oh whatever Sam, I'm just kidding. Plus we all know Gabe prefers guys over gals any day of the week." Normally I wouldn't mind if people knew, but I felt anger towards Jo when she said that. _Why? I shouldn't care if Sam knows._ I roll my eyes and Michael laughs at me.

"Dude, lighten up!" Michael says in a teasing tone. "Cone on, let's go to the candy shop sour puss." He starts walking to a café. Our 'candy shop' is actually just a café, but they're the only ones that sell more candy than any other one in town. That may be because half of it is just shelves of candy.

"Um, that isn't a candy shop." Sam says puzzled. Jo, Michael, and I laugh. Michael then explains as we walk in. I rush to my favorite aisle.

I'm picking out different suckers along with a bunch of other candy when Sam walks up. "So, I'm guessing you like candy?" He smiles. I nod before choosing three red ones.

"Love it! Every time we come, which isn't often, I buy at least two to four pounds of it." I grab a pack worth two pounds of 'fun-sized' candy.

"Holy...wait really?" He asks shocked.

"See if you knew me this wouldn't be a problem." I reply still looking at all the candy.

"I'm not a huge fan, but I'll eat some."

"I bet you ten bucks I can eat all of this on a month." I challenge.

"No way."

"Try me."

"Twenty you won't, and it has to be _by yourself._ "

"Fine, but first help me pick out more candy."

"It's going to rot your teeth."

"I'm not going to eat it all at once, like I said _a month_."

"It'll make you fat."

"Lack of self-confidence can lead to depression, but only possibly. I wouldn't want to be rude and say it does, but it could. Anyways, chocolate is a good antidepressant. Therefore, more sweets to eat." I pause and say dramatically, "I can feel my self-confidence decreasing by the minute." I stop and smirk. "Maybe I should buy more?" Sam just rolls his eyes and smiles. I turn back to look for more Snickers.

"I'll meet you at the register."

" 'Kay!" I shout over my shoulder. A couple minutes later I found all the candy I wanted and meet up with the rest of them at the counter.

"Well I can't say I'm _in love_ with him. I don't think even _love_ qualifies, or even _crush_. But yeah, I like him. Just don't tell him that." I hear Sam say as I walk up.

"No of course not that's ridicu-heeey Gabe!" Jo says. I give her a look.

"Ok? What?" I ask, an eyebrow raised. Sam shifts a little uncomfortably. Michael answers.

"We were just talking about Sam's crush-"

"Dude!" Sam gives him a furious look.

"I heard. Look, if you don't want to tell me, fine. I just want my candy." I say. _I don't think I could take it if it's anyone but me._  


*******€

  
_So that's when what? I started liking him, crushing on him, loving him? What?_ Sam comes downstairs then.

"Want to go to the candy shop?" He asks.

"I haven't even finished the candy I bought from two weeks ago. Which by the way, you will _sooo_ owe me for." I smile. He smiles and sighs in exasperation.

"Yeah I figured, but this is for just one." He tells me.

"Just one? Who can buy just one?"

"Listen King Candy Hoarder, do you want to go or not?"

"Yeah, let's go." I agree excitedly.

******¥

"Gabe." I don't answer. "Gabe!"

"Sam for the last time! I don't care! You've been at this all week-"

"It hasn't been all week! That was Friday, now it's Monday."

"Sorry, week _end._ But _anyways_ , I'm literally fine with you not telling me. Actually more than fine."

"But _why?_ You're like my best friend, and I haven't even told you my crush. So, why?"

"Is that what you've been bugging me for, is why?" He nods. "You could've just started out with that." He rolls his eyes. "Anyways, that's exactly the reason. You're my best friend too. I happen to know I'm a blabber mouth. I wouldn't want you getting hurt because your crush doesn't like you back, and he or she-"

"He."

"Him finding out because of me. That would be my fault. And even if you did forgive me for betraying you, I wouldn't ever forgive myself." With an understanding nod he got back to work, seeming to accept the answer.

Except, an hour later, when all our homework was done he brought it up _again_.

"Gabe. I just, I don't get it."

"How many times taro I have to explain it?"

"Thirty thousand."

"Oh my god....Sam."

"Gabe, there's no way. Like not even a little curious?"

"Well of course! But I refrain from asking because one, I've already told you. I'm a blabber mouth, a gossip. I'm not gonna hurt my best friend with something I know I could've prevented. Second, I'm not going to push on a subject you obviously don't want to talk about to me. If you wanted me to know your crush, don't you think you would have told me already?"

Sam thinks it over. "Fine."

"Forever?"

"But what if I want to tell you my crush?"

"I meant about the reason why I'm ok with you not telling me."

"Oh, then yeah. We'll be done with forever, as you said."

******€

Sam and I walk into our 'candy shop'. He leads the way and I follow him to my favorite aisle. I see him stop so I wait, trying to see around him. He just looks behind him and moves so I cant see again. After he finally turns around, I can hardly contain excitement.

"Dude! Just let me see! What's the big dea-" He holds up two suckers. They're both the strange roses and root beer flavored candy. He hands me both and I read the name. _Wild West Romance. What?_  


"Hold these for two minutes, and I swear do not eat them."

"Ew gross. Wait, we're going to eat these?" He nods his head and turns back around.

*******¥

I walk downstairs to find Sam in the kitchen with my mom. His back is to me so I decide to surprise him. I walk up silently and grab his sides from behind.

"Bah!"

"Holy sh-" Sam falls to the floor with a _thump_.

"Gabriel Novak!" My mom yells at me.

"I swear I didn't know that would happen!" I yell back innocently. Sam then decides to get up.

"He made me jump, and then I slipped on the floor. It's not that big a deal." Sam says groaning a little in pain.

"NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL? GABRIEL LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THE POOR BOY HE'S IN PAIN! GABRIEL NOVAK YOU ARE GROUNDED!" My mom screams at me.

"Hey whoa that's not fair! How should I know that the floor was slippery!" "Hey I'm fine! Dean does that to me all the time! I just happened to slip!" Sam and I yell at the same time.

She looks back and forth between both of us, surprised. I'm sure my face looks furious. Sam's looks more pleading and insistent. 

She smiles like she knows something we don't. "Alright fine."

"Yes-!" Sam and I say in unison.

"But!" She continues. We both groan at the same time. "Gabe then, owes me a favor."

"I'll stay grounded I'm good!" I throw my hands up in surrender.

"So you're just going to give up!" Sam yells in frustration.

"Do you know my mom?! Did you see that smile?! There is _no_ way that is going to end well and you couldn't pay me a million dollars to do it."

"But Gabe-"

"You know Gabe it could be anything. Chores, that's obvious. But it could end up being something like pranking someone who got on my bad side." My mom says sickly sweet. Sam looks at me pleadingly now.

"Fine. But I don't understand, this all just started because Sam fell to the floor."

"You scared him!"

"You scared me!"

"So what I can't have fun now? Wait, Sam you're supposed to be on my side!"

"Well you aren't grounded anymore, and that _did_ hurt. I mean not that much, but I'm definitely going to be sore for awhile."

"Hey Mom I take it back I want to be grounded."

"Too late you made the deal, Gabriel. Now you have to suffer the consequences just like Sam has to suffer from his fall that _you_ caused."

"You know this really got out of hand." I say.

"Whose fault is that?" She asks.

"WHAT SO IS EVERYTHING MY FAULT? SO I GUESS ITS MY FAULT I'M BORN!"

"Well technically-" Sam starts.

"Technically they never had to do 'it' in the first place." I retort.

"Keep that up Gabe and you will be grounded on top of it all." My mom intervenes. "Now go do whatever you boys want to." She winks at me and I look at her in confusion.

****€

Sam finally turns around and I see nothing.

"The he-?"

"Trust me."

"But-"

"You trust me don't you?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Gabe."

"Bu-"

"Uh-Uh."

"Bu-"

"No."

"I-"

"Sh."

"Sam!"

"Gabe!" I glare at him and he just sit there smiling at me like an idiot.

****¥

"Sam!"

"Gabe stop complaining."

"But come on Sam! You _always_ want to do homework."

"Maybe that's because we always _have_ homework." I get up and walk over to my desk. "Unless you're going to help with this homework, go back, and sit on your bed."

"Make me."

******(from now on since its the last flashback, the flashback will be italics, its the same one if you haven't figured that out)

Sam is leaning down towards me. I hold my ground and keep glaring.

******

_"Fine." He stands up and leans towards me._

*****

He keeps smiling. That stupid smile with those stupid dimples and stupid perfect white teeth. I just want to kiss him. I'm probably blushing as red as a tomato.

******

_He grabs my waist and I almost gasp in shock. He smirks before picking me up and throwing me onto the bed. He stands over me smiling. "See? Now can I please get back to work?"_

*******

Sam grabs one of the suckers from my hand and stands back up. He unwraps it. I can't stop staring at him. He holds up the sucker.

"I will if you will." He says with an quirked eyebrow. _That should not be hot._ I unwrap the sucker. "Same time?" He asks.

******

_"No." I say before getting up and jumping on his back._

_"Gabe!" He tries to say threateningly, except he's too busy laughing._

******

I unwrap the sucker and pop it in my mouth in one swift move. I raise an eyebrow. "You were saying?"

"You always ruin everything." He replies sticking his own sucker in his mouth.

*****

_After trying and failing to throw me off, he flops on the bed crushing me beneath him._

_"Dude how much do you weigh? You're like a freaking bear! Or moose. I don't know but a lot. NOW GET OFF ME!" He just laughs and gets up only enough to turn and face me. Essentially pinning me to the bed. "That isn't off."_

_"Stop distracting me." I lift an eyebrow._

_"What? So you're saying I'm hot?" I ask with a smirk. He rolls his eyes._

_"Nah, you're cute. Adorable even, but not hot."_

_"So you admit I'm attractive!"_

_"Gabe!"_

_"What?" I ask innocently._

_"Let me finish homework and then we can play one of your stupid video games."_

_"Deal."_

*****

"How? If anything I make everything so much better. Life of the party!" I smirk. _Wait. He never...._  


"Yeah, right. Except you've never been to a party."

"Whatever. That means nothing."

"That means like everything."

"Shut up and focus on the task."

"Which is...?"

"Tasting this sucker. Which I've been too distracted by you being an ignorant little jerk to actually taste it." I roll the sucker over my tongue, whereas before it was stuck in my cheek. Sam does the same. At the same time, both our eyes widen.

******

_"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU PEACH!"_

_"Gabe, all she did was pass you!"_

_"I WAS IN FIRST PLACE! AND SHE DIDN'T JUST PASS ME, SHE THREW A RED SHELL AT ME!"_

_"Gabe, chill."_

_"NO!" I yell at him. "NONONO NONONO WAIT COME ON COME ON COME ON!!!! YES! EAT IT PEACH! I WIN! FIRST PLACE! LAST SECOND VICTORY!!" I jump up and make a victory lap around the couch._

_I would've done another if not for Sam yanking my arm and pulling me onto the couch._

_"Gabe. Chill."_

_"No."_

_"Fine. Will you chill?"_

_"Let me think....mmmmm no." Sam rolls his eyes._

_"Now I'm telling you again, chill."_

_"No."_

_"Gabe." Sam says in a warning voice._

_"Make me."_

*****

"Wha-" I say my jaw almost dropping.

"But how..?"

"It's not even-"

"But it's so-"

"How?"

"I don't know."

"Who even-"

"I don't know."

"But it's so-"

"Heavenly."

*****

_"Fine." All of a sudden I'm off the couch._

_"Dude!"_

_"What?" He asks, standing up._

_"You're gonna throw me on the bed again aren't you?"_

_"No." He continues carrying me bridal style outside._

_"What're you- HOLY SHI-!!" Cold water soaks through all of my clothes._

****

I take a second to unashamedly look at Sam. _You're totally checking him out. Am not. Are too. Ok yeah I am so what? I'm in love with him. Whoa wait. In love? like_ in love _in love? like_ in _love?_  


Sam then opens his eyes like he's got an idea. He grabs my hand and rushes to the counter quickly paying for our candy. He grabs my hand again and races out the door. I stumble behind trying to catch up.

"Sam?! Sam what's the rush!?"

*****

  
_"So you're telling me he just_ fell _in the pool?" Michael asks for the tenth time in a row. I stand there freezing in the kitchen in a towel. Michael refused to let me go further inside and change until he got the story._  


_"Yes. He fell in. We were fooling around and he slipped and fell in."_

_"And it wasn't because Gabe was screaming about a game? And you told him to chill? And he refused? So then you didn't carry him and chuck him in the pool?" Sam stood there dumbly, obviously caught in the act. "Uh-huh. Get him dry before my mom gets home and neither of you will get in trouble."_

_We walked upstairs and I quickly grabbed clothes and changed in the bathroom._

_"Dude, we're so dead." Sam says. He sits on the edge of the bed, head in his hands._

_"True. My mom goes for the over dramatic almost all the time." I joke._

_"Dude! It's still barely spring, it's freezing outside. There is no way I'm getting off the hook." I stop and think for a minute._

_"On the bright side, I'm finally chilled." I smile._

_"Dude shut up."_

_"No."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because I like annoying you. Also because you need to lighten up."_

_"So what are you gonna throw a lamp at me?"_

_"Do I have to? Because I'd rather not get in trouble for more than I have to."_

******

"SAM!" Sam is still running home dragging me with. "Sam slow down! I don't have long legs like you!" He slows down so I can then start running properly.

"Sorry, I just need to write something down in my notebook before I lose it." I look at him in surprise. _He writes?_ I start running faster to the point where I'm dragging Sam. "Dude!"

"I've got my footing now. Now shut up and keep that thought, I'll focus on getting us home."

*****

  
_"Mom it's my fault. Really. I had asked Sam to throw me in. Ground_ me, _not him."_  


_"Gabe!" Sam whispers in my ear._

_"Alright. I believe you. You're grounded, and I'm sorry Sam, but that means you can't come over until Friday." Sam and I both nod our heads and go upstairs._

_"Gabe why would you do that?"_

_"Because Sam, whether you like it or not, I'm always going to have your back."_

_"Always?"_

_"Always. Trust me, I would never let you get into any trouble."_

******

So that's when I was in love. That day. I always wanted to see him smile, make him happy, and never let him in any danger or trouble. I remember that too well. That was definitely the day though. _Wow, before that it was just a crush. I just loved him._  


Sam and I reach the front steps and we burst through the door. He runs past me up to his room. Reciting some phrase under his breath like a mantra. By the I get up there he's putting his notebook away, but I can't see it. _Maybe he's taking it out? But he's taking his time._  


"So got it down?" He whips around with an expression like a deer in headlights. He relaxes and smiles.

"Yeah, I got it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you could see, most of them were different flashbacks, so when it came time for the one all broken up I didn't want a whole confusion. Sorry if you aren't used to that format or whatever, I just didn't want it too confusing. Also, props to those who got the reference.


	12. How Do I Know It's a Sign?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is just some kind of filler chapter.. oh well, enjoy!

_Do you see now how it was dangerous? For me to love him? Or have you forgotten as well? That he is one of the most dangerous beings in all creation? Or did you not catch that? Have you not figured it out? It's all centered around one thing. For me, it's him. But for the world, this world. It's only a certain thing about him. That one thing that makes him something that isn't human. I'm glad your back again. But there isn't much to say right now. You can only experience and find out for yourself, just what about that thing that makes him so dangerous._

_Except the thing is, he's not. He isn't dangerous. Just because he can't...*static* doesn't mean that he's dangerous. Just because they think he....*static* doesn't mean that......*static* He isn't dangerous! None of them are. No......*static* is or will be.....*static* you can't kill them! Youcan't....*static* *click* *static*_

*****

I drive over to Ellen's diner to have a semi quick chat with her. _He held my hand._ Ever since I realized I was in love with Sam, I couldn't get the phrase out of my head.

_I'm in love with Sam. Sam. Sam. His beautiful grey eyes that are constantly changing. His shaggy hair that hangs down when he's working. His smiles and laugh. He's so smart. I can't believe he's only two years younger than me. He's so nice, kind, generous. Sam. Sam. Won't you love me back Sam?_

I finally get to the diner and I walk in. _I'm in love with him. He held my hand. Is he in love with me? How do I know?_  


"Hey there's candy lover boy." A guy walks up to me.

"Uh...who are you?"

"I'm Ash. I'm the one that's gonna be running this place when....well you know. Let's not get into that. Anyways, you must be Gabe. I've heard all about you. How's your boyfriend?" I blush red. I try to stutter something but Ellen comes out.

"Sam isn't his boyfriend, Ash."

"You sure because by the way everyone was talking about them-?"

"Ash-"Ellen gives him a warning look.

"Actually that's kind of the reason that I came here." I say nervously. Ellen stares at me.

"About Sam?"

"Sort of."

"That's a yes or no question, there ain't no 'sort of' around here."

"Well, it has to do with Sam, but it's just not 'about' him either."

Ash interrupts, "Well that's great that you can finally confess your feelings for one another, but I'd best be getting going. I got a game going on in the other room." He smiles and walks to a door leading to the back.

"Whoa, nice hair." I say.

"I know right dude? It's business in the front, party in the back." He motions to the front and then the back of his hair. "Catch you later!" Then he disappears behind the door.

"So, Sam. What about him?"

"Well I don't want to start with that."

"So what _do_ you want to start with?"

"Have you ever been in love? Or like _felt_ you might've been in love?"

"Oh I see now. See we all already knew this. The way you two stand so close to one another, constantly give each other these looks, and almost beverage each other's sides."

"Looks?" I walk over to the bar and sit at one of the stools.

"Well to be honest, they mostly came from Sam. Constantly glancing over at you when you weren't looking. Like he always wanted to say something, but never had the courage. I mean, we all could just tell with one look he liked you." My jaw at this point is almost to the floor. "What you're surprised? This boy has been doing it since the day he met you. Or so I've heard. You two came in a week after he met you."

"Yeah, um..ehem...well-" I start.

"So you gonna tell him?"

"No, see that's the thing, is.." I try again.

"You two better get this show on the road, because I at least want to see you two together before-"

"Ellen! Would you just listen to me?" I ask in frustration.

"Sorry, I guess I'm getting ahead of myself aren't I? Anyways go on."

"Look it's more of just understanding if I am or not. I don't know, I've never been in love. I haven't even had that many crushes before. So I don't really remember what that was like."

"Ok, well I can honestly say I've only been in love once. That was along time ago though. You see, I had the same problem as you. I didn't know whether I was in love or not. But unlike you, I didn't ask for help. Well eventually we got together. We stayed together for years."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he was actually Jo's father. Then he got killed in a hunting accident. Anyways, the only reason how I even knew I was in love, was the signs."

"Signs?"

"Yeah, everything that happens between you and him can be a sign."

"Ok so how do I know it's a sign?" She laughs.

"I guess you won't know until it's to late. But you can make guesses along the way. Most of them you won't be so sure about, others you will know."

"So, what would some signs be? Like in general."

"Ok, so let's see. Does he hang out with you more than he has to? Do you find him doing things that at first it was weird but now it's almost natural? One sign is one that you can't decide completely by yourself. You can try, but you're only seeing it from your own perspective."

"What would it be?"

"Does he smile more around you than anyone else? Is his smile more genuine around you?"

"Oh I understand now."

"Yeah, but I guess the most significant signs are a few things. One, you overlook the most important thing about them, that's bad. Or could be a sign of something bad. Because with them, you don't want to have to think about it. Which is why it's actually harder for anaglyphs to find a significant other. Or as statics show and say."

"Oh. I never thought of it that way. What else?"

"Do you,find yourself constantly around them? Like one of the first signs, but this one is a little different. Do you find yourself wanting to be even closer? That can be in any way. It could be physical at first. After awhile you start to get jealous of other people, whether or not you truly are jealous. You want to spend more time with him than you have before."

I put my head in my hands. "I'm so screwed. What's the last sign?"

"The last one, is actually the most significant. But since more people know about that than anything other sign, it's overused. If someone ran into a store you two were in, and the guy had a gun. What would you do? Would you step in front of him? Would you take that bullet? What I mean, is would you be willing to throw yourself in danger just to keep him out of it and safe? Not only that, but do you want to be there when he's down? Do you want to be the person he goes to when he's sad? Not just when he's happy?"

"Great thanks, Ellen." I get up and walk out fast.

"Wait Gabe!" I don't turn around. _I'm in love with Sam. That just confirmed it. How can I be so oblivious? I'm in love with him. Sam._  



	13. Finally Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have posted earlier, but there were technical difficulties. It may happen again, but I have a back up person to help out with that. Luckily it was only a few days instead of a few weeks right? Gosh, sorry, just uh.. read, enjoy!

I get back home and run up to my room. Sam is already there but he looks furious. As soon as I walk in he looks relieved.  _Does he smile more genuine around you?_  He smiles wide at me.

"Sorry, I was about ready to call the cops for a missing person. I freaked out when Cas said you weren't here." He walks up to me.

"Really? Well with you joining the debate team I figured I had extra time to do stuff. Mostly get out whatever energy I have so I don't bug you so much."

"You don't bug me." He says walking a little closer.

"Saaaaaaaaaam!" I say dramatically.

"Gabe don't you dare."

"Don't start doing homework!" I over exaggerate what I typically do.

"Gabe! Come on you said you wouldn't!"

"We can go out around town and do stuff!"

"GABE!"

"I never said I  _wouldn't_  do that, just that I wouldn't  _as_ _much_." I say calmly.

"You're a jerk."

"Cool. I don't really care, I gave an explanation take it or leave it."

"Seriously you are a dickwad."

"But I'm your dickwad." Sam's face turns a shade pinker. He turns around and heads to the desk. I didn't even realize how close we were standing until he moved.  _He_ _was_ _right_ _there_ _._ _I_ _could_ _have_ _kissed_ _him_ _._

"We have homework."

"Yeah I know, let's do it." He turns around and gives me a shocked face. "What? I said I would get all of that energy out, well most of it." I shrug. "So here I am, let's do homework." So we do. He sits hunched over on my chair and I sit on the desk.

After awhile I get bored, so I put my feet on his knees. "Gabe." I nudge his book out of the way. "Gabe, what are you doing?" I slide off the desk and stand up, looking down at him. He looks up at me expectantly and shy. I smirk. His face goes red and he looks flustered. I still smirk, walking past him. "Just needed to get something." I say walking out, "Want any soda? Too bad I'm getting you some." I hear him laugh before I go downstairs.

By the time I get upstairs, Sam has moved so that his book is on the desk.  _Weird. He never does that. He always uses his knees, even when I'm not using the desk as a chair._

"Sprite?" I ask. He almost jumps out of his seat. He closes some sort of book and puts it away, looking sheepish.

"Yeah." I walk up behind him, but he's already put whatever book it was away.

"What was that?"

"Huh? Oh nothing." He says obviously trying to avoid the subject. I hand him his can of sprite and I sit on the desk again. I open the can of diet coke and stare at him.  _Strange._

We get back to work again before I nudge his book again. Except with my hands because he moved his book to the desk. He nudges me away. I close his book fully. He looks at me with those grey eyes of his.

"Do you mind?"

"Nope." He opens his book again and I close it again. "Gabe!"

"What it isn't my fault you can't keep the book open." All of a sudden he's standing up and pushing me against the wall. Both his hands are on the desk and he leans forward, pressing me closer to the wall. I try my best not to blush.  _He's so close. Just kiss him. He doesn't like me like that. Really? Because everyone else says otherwise._ I make one quick glance at his lips.

"Are you going to stop?" He asks and I give a sly smile.

"What? You think I'm gonna stop now after you react like this?" He looks almost confused.

"You have stopped before when I reacted like this." Now I give him a confused look. I suddenly realize. I'm leaning forward towards him. I'm only inches from his face.  _I wonder what those lips taste like._  "Do we need another pool incident?"

"Do you want me to be grounded again?" He pauses and takes a good look at me.  _We are only inches away from each other. Just kiss him!_

"Fine, maybe I can get some homework done then."

"You don't mean that."

"Try me." He smirks now. He has the upper hand.  _Not for long._  I close the distance between us and press my lips firmly to his. He almost gasps then moans and presses back, fully pushing my back to the wall. One of his hands moves to my hip and pushes my body back. He leans even farther over the desk and holds his lips to mine. Naturally my hand moves and I tangle my fingers in his hair. He moves his other hand to the back of my neck.

He runs his tongue along the bottom of my lip and I open my mouth giving him full access. He practically attacks my mouth then, exploring as much as possible. I lean forward to him trying to pull him closer. The kiss finally ends when we both have to breathe. We only pull back slightly though. I look into his grey eyes that now appear full of lust.

"Gabe." He says breathlessly.

"Sam." I say right back and he attacks me again. I gasp and he takes the opportunity to push his tongue inside. He kisses me a little harder with more passion than the first time.  _Then again he was surprised by that._ He moves in between my legs and pulls me closer. I move my free hand, which was supporting me, around his neck. We continue like that for another few minutes before he pulls back.

He looks at me like he doesn't want the moment to end. "We have homework." He says simply, but almost sounds like he's whining. He grabs his book and sits back down. I stare at him.  _He kissed me back._ After a moment, I grab my book and start homework again. Finally after an hour we finish homework.

I look at him, trying to give off a vibe that I want to make out with him again. He doesn't seem to get the message. I get off the desk and just as he sits up from putting his books in his bag, I sit on his lap, straddling and facing him. I take a moment to take him in. Shaggy brown hair, lips still slightly swollen from kissing over an hour ago, grey eyes that won't leave my face.

"Please tell me that was real." He says. I place my hand on his. He gives a small smirk and flips his hand so he's holding mine.

"Would that be a yes to me asking you out on a date Friday?" He almost laughs and looks down at our hands.

"What hand holding or what I said?"

"Mmmm... both." He smiles wide and laughs. He glances at my lips and I lean forward to capture his. I push him against the back of the chair and his free hand pulls me towards him.  _Sam._

He pulls back for air and I give a slight whine of annoyance. "So does this mean we're finally together?" I kiss him softly on the lips before kissing him again.

"Oh yeah definitely." I smile.

******

_*Clang and echo of metal* *distant voices* SHUT UP! You're all in here for a reason, take your God damned punishment!! *static* The end of that story, isn't fascinating. He couldn't keep his hands off me, we ended up closing the door because we didn't want anyone knowing quite yet. Oh, yeah, two people who loved each other in a room by themselves with the door closed?_ _Actually, no. At least not_ that  _time._

* _screams_ _*_ _SHUT_ _YOUR_ _MOUTH_ _YOU_ _IDIOTS_ _! *_ _static_ _*_

_I just..... *pause and a barely audible deep breath* I can't.... I miss you, Sam. I just want to be with you. It was almost ironic that I never liked star-crossed lovers right? Look at us now. Separated from each other by some force. I just hope I'm not forced to forget you, or be forced to imagine you as anything different.....*_ _pause_ _* They've done that, here_ _, you know._

_Someone had come in to make a deal...and... *small crying* the other attacked and.... *a sob* it was brutal. The other was... it sounded like he became an animal. *speaking continually gets faster* All of us could hear her screams. The guy could've gotten out too. He was found innocent, but she didn't know that. They thought he wouldn't be found innocent either. So they tortured him. Then_ _that_ _, happened and he was charged with murder and cannibalism. Every single one of us could hear it. I know, because I'm the farthest away. I'm the farthest away from everyone......_

_*shaky breath, slows down breathing* Sam, I don't want to become that. I'd rather die than become that. I don't want to die though. I still have hope you'll come to get me. I just... don't want you to. It's a trap. I've said that before. Look, Sam, I love you. And I hope I can see you again. But whatever you do, don't be the one to come save me. I-I'll understand. *voice breaks* Please, if you can hear me. Don't be the one to come save me. *small, weak, and further broken voice* I love you.*click* *static*_


	14. Coming Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm gonna put two chapter out, because I was gonna put this one out yesterday, but then I got busy and shit happens. So, enjoy!

_*distant tortured screaming* *someone crying* *static*_

_.........._ _......_

_*static*_

_......._ _........_

_*static*_

_........._ _......._

_*screaming ends after a sickening break of bone*_

_*static*_

_*someone trying to stop crying* *sniffles* I'm here. I'm here. *whispers* I don't know if can do this anymore. *soft crying* They must have designed this to be the worst cell to live in. I hear people being tortured every day. Every. Day. I can't take it anymore. Someone if you can hear me please help. This is isn't my fault. They're holding me hostage in hopes of capturing my boyfriend. *chokes on a sob* Sam, *barely audible whisper* Sam I'm sorry.....*click* *static*_

*****

in first hour, Sam wrote me a note saying he had the perfect idea of how we can come out as a couple to everybody. We both knew everybody wanted us together. It was more of a...but how are we going to tell them? Because no matter what, they're always going to respond "FINALLY"! So he came up with a plan and I wanted to know.

Except he didn't. He just told me he had a plan. He didn't give me anything. Nothing. He just sat there with a smug expression while I was trying to beat it out of him. Kyle looked at us weird the whole first hour. He still refused when we had our other classes. None of which had anyone that knew us like that.

We get to the last hour before lunch. It's quiet so I ask,"Dude, what is up? Why are you not telling to me? Come on Sam." He looks over at me, smiles, and then goes back to work. I reach over and grab his notebook.

"Hey-!"

"SHHHH!"  _Oh, yeah, we're in the library this hour. Probably should be quiet. Unless he doesn't tell me, in which I will burn the school down. Ok probably not, but he needs to tell me. S_ am turns back from glaring at the librarian.

"Give it back." He whispers threateningly.

"Not until you tell me." I respond harshly.

"It's a joke isn't it?"

"No. You won't tell me the plan."

"Just give me my notebok. I'll explain at lunch."

"Like hell you will, you have kept this plan from me the entire day . Also pretty much half the people who want us together are there. Now you are finally going to tell me. Spill."

"No."

"Sam."

"Gabe."

"Tell me!"

"Give me my notebook!"

"SHHHHHH!!!!" We glare at the librarian and then glare at each other.

"Give it."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Then no!" He reaches across and I move the notebook away. Except I forget that he has long arms. So he snatched it out of my hands. "Not fair!"

"Life isn't fair shortstack." He says smirking.

"Just tell meeeeeee!"

"Gaaaabe."

"Saaaam." Suddenly he grabs my wrist and he runs towards the back of the library. He drags me to the section no one ever visits, not even the librarian and pushes me against the wall. "Dude!"

"Shut up, Gabe."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"No. Now shut up."

"Then why'd you drag me back here? Why won't you te-" My words are cut off when Sam kisses me. I pull back. "Sam!" He just smiles at me.

"I'm sorry I'm not taking any chances. They could walk in at any time, and we were out in the open."

"Wha-?!" He kisses me again.

"Because you're cute when you're frustrated, angry, or confused. Plus I've wanted to do that all day and I just really needed to."

"Well you could've told me to meet you here, because anyone out there is now going to be suspicious. You know, because you basically dragged me here after all that tension." I reply with a slight smirk. He kisses me again.

"I've always just wanted to wipe that smirk off your face."

"I wanted to kiss the smile off your face. Mark it turn bright red and then leave it desperate for more." I lean in and Sam looks ready to kiss me again. I pull away from him. He gives a small whine of protest.

"Except, I'm not going to do that now, because it's halfway through the hour. People will be suspicious that we aren't back yet. Also, we need to give time to make it not seem like we've been making out. Which will happen if I do so."

"Fine. You win this round."

"As a reward will you tell me the plan?"

"No." He gives the short reply as he walks away smiling.

******

"Hey, Gabe. What's up with you and Sam?" Kyle who's sitting next to me asks at lunch. I shrug, pretending not to know.  _Oh, you know your 'OTP' I'd finally together._ "Come on, you were badgering him all first period for something."

"He told me."  _No he didn't, which he needs to or I'll...um..._

"What was it? What did he tell you?" Kyle suddenly got excited. I roll my eyes.

"Just that he's coming over again and whatever. He made a big deal out of it, making it seem more special then it was. He's so stupid."

"But you like him." Kyle says happily after a moment.

"What? No, I don't." I say defensively.

"Whatever." I then look at Sam and back at Kyle.  _He believes me? Wow, not as smart as I thought you were Kyle._

About halfway through lunch Sam gets in an argument with Charlie, again. They do it everyday, but Kyle or Anna always break it up. About halfway through I intervene, again, but only for the second time ever.

"SAM! CHARLIE!" They both glare at me. Everyone else looks at me in shock. Well, I haven't actually intervened since the first time the got in an argument.

"Sam is right Charlie. Thor would be the strongest."

"Oh please you're just siding with him because  _he's_ your boyfriend." Charlie says.

"You know what, for once in my life, I agree with you Charlie." Sam says smirking. I look down at him in surprise. Everyone's jaw drops. They all look to me for confirmation, but before I can react, Sam grabs me and kisses me.

They all seem to have different reactions. A couple of them thought it was cute and another thought it was disgusting. The other two weren't sure if Sam was telling the truth and vocally braced themselves for however I was going to react. I was too distracted by his kiss to make out who was who though.

He pulls away but doesn't let go of me. He smiles at me and I'm still shocked. "Really? That was your plan to tell them?" My eyes widen. "IT WAS! You knew Charlie would argue with you and-" Sam interrupts me by kissing me again. Everyone else starts to have proper reactions. Some laugh, others say what everyone says and what went through my mind, " _FINALLY!"_  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning there could be some triggers in the next chapter. Hope you liked this one, cause it's gonna get depressing the next few chapters. Sorry in advance.


	15. Too Far Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was right, reading it over again, there are some triggers. Please be cautious, this chapter deals with a form of self harm and suicide. It is later on, but you can never be too careful.

_*static*_

_.............._

_*static*_

_.............._

_*static*_

_*screaming*_

_*in and out static and screams*_

_.............._

_*screaming* STOP! STOP! *loud harsh clang of metal* *screams of agony and torture*_

_*******_ _Sam_ _POV_

 _"_ _Frank_ _do_ _something_ _!"_ _I_ _yell_ _._ _I_ _don't_ _know_ _what_ _to_ _do_ _._ _Obviously_ _the_ _screams_ _are_ _from_ _Gabe_ _._ What are they doing to him?

 _"_ _Sam_ _,_   _we_   _can't_   _bust_   _in_ _there_   _yet_ _._ _Dean_   _and_   _Cas_   _will_ _be_   _here_   _in_ _two_   _days_   _time_ _._ _They_   _got_   _the_   _back_   _up_ _,_ _they'll_   _be_   _here_ _."_

 _"_ _You_ _said_ _that_ _a_ _week_ _ago_ _!"_ _I_ _stand_ _up_ _furious_. I have to do something.  _I start to pace._  I have to save him. It's not his fault, he didn't.... I didn't even ask to be like this.

 _My_   _thoughts_ _are_ _interrupted_   _as_ _another_ _scream_ _pierces_ _through_ _the_ _air_ _."_ _FRANK_ _!_ _Do_ _something_ _!"_

 _"_ _What_   _do_ _you_ _want_ _me_ _to_ _do_ _?!"_  
_"_ _Turn_   _it_ _off_ _._ _Turn_   _him_   _off._   _I_   _can't_   _listen_   _to_   _this_ _."_ _I_   _pace_   _faster_   _and_   _run_   _my_   _hands_   _through_   _my_   _hair_ _._

 _"_ _You_   _know_   _I_   _can't_   _do_   _that_ _,_   _we_   _have_   _to_   _gather_   _the_   _information_   _of_   _where_   _exactly_   _he_   _is_ _in_   _that_   _prison_ _."_

 _I_ _walk_ _out_ _of_ _the_ _trailer_ _for_ _a_ _minute_ _to_ _catch_ _my_ _breath_ _._  I just want to stop hearing his screams. I don't ever want to hear him be tortured again.  _Why_ _do_ _we_ _have_ _to_ _wait_ _for_ _Dean_ _?_ _I_ _don't_ _care_ _if_ _it's_ _for_ _my_ _safety_ _._ _Gabe_ _needs to_ _get_ _out_ _of_ _there_ _as_ _soon_ _as_ _possible_ _._

******

" _Officially_ you two started dating last Friday!"

"I don't care we started dating last Wednesday! Because  _technically_ that's when we got together!"

"Oh my god Gabe shut up!" Sam says exasperated. "Seriously you and Jo both just need to shut up. Technically we got together Wednesday. Officially we started dating Friday. Therefore either day is correct. But the thing is, Jo it's none of your business. So if Gabe wants to say our one month anniversary is on the 12th next month fine."

Jo and I stare at Sam in silence. Michael smiles at Sam.

"Well they did shut up." Anna and Charlie laugh and Sam just sits there looking pleased with himself.

"Oh shut up Michael." Jo says lightly. "I guess I'm just jealous." She says seriously.

"No, uh uh. Nope. Let's go." Michael says grabbing her arm and leading her out the front door of Charlie's house.

They all laugh. They don't know how close she is to her death. Every day it just becomes a more angry red. Its to the point where I can't even look at her at times because it looks like she truly is on fire. I take a deep breath. Sam moves over to me, taking Jo's spot on the couch.

He kisses me on the cheek and puts his arm around me. He takes his other hand and holds mine. Charlie continues the conversation with Anna and Sam. I choose to stay out of it.

I lean against Sam and breathe deeply. Sam gives an occasional squeeze. It helps becaus it grounds me and brings me to reality. A reality where one of my friends is going to die, and another choosing to die.

******

Monday comes and I get there earlier than normal. It's only the fourth time in my life I've been earlier than Kyle. More students come in as the minutes tick by. Sam comes in after about ten minutes and I smile at him. He gives me a quick kiss on the lips then Balthazar walks in.

That's when I start to freak out. "Sam where's Kyle?" He looks at me funny.

"Who's Kyle?"

"What? Kyle! You know the kid that like shipped us together?"

"What? You know the only person who does that is Charlie."

"No! Kyle! Kyle he's the one we all freak out about!"

"Why?"

"Because he wants to..... he doesn't want to live."

"I'm pretty sure you made him up."

"No! No I didn't! Kyle is real! I know it because I'm not the only one who talked to him!"

"Gabe. Kyle isn't here, whoever he is. Even if he is real he's gone."

***

I wake up almost screaming.  _Kyle_ _!_ Michael comes running in.

"Gabe what's wrong? Why were you screaming?" I can't help but cry then.

"C-call K-kyle." I manage to get out. Michael doesn't ask, he runs to grab his phone. I sit there crying, hoping the dream wasn't true.  _Is_ _this_ _supposed_ _to_ _happen_ _to_ _anaglyphs_ _?_ _To_ _have_ _dreams_ _saying_ _they're_ _dead_ _?_

Michael comes back with the phone to his ear, but he stays just outside the doorway. "Come on pick up. Pick up. Pick up, pick up, pick up." He throws the phone across the hallway.

"Mom!" He runs down the stairs. I can hear every word he says. "Mom! I know, but trust me this is important. MOM! Wake up! This is extremely important, someone could be dead. Call Sam or Charlie. Both would be great, have one of them come over. Because Gabe needs someone his age. Sorry Mom, I didn't mean it like that. He just needs someone really close to him. JUST CALL ONE OF THEM!" I hear the front door close.

I can't stop crying. His colors were red and black. Red and black. Black and red. That's what I saw the day Jo's colors changed. It's what I'm seeing now. I'm just not sure if its mine or me picturing Kyle's.

It feels like an hour passes before anything happens. I'm still crying and I feel strong arms wrap around me.

"Shhh it's ok Gabe."

"You don't know how bad it was, Sam."

"I don't, but its over." He kisses the top of my head. "It's ok." Sam pulls me into his lap and holds me against his chest.

"Do you know how he is?"

"I-" he sighs, "I don't know. It was your mom who called me. Charlie isn't going to be here because she decided to go to Kyle's."

After awhile I start to get uncomfortable and start to get up. Sam tightens his grip. "Need something?"

"I'm uncomfortable." I say, shifting more.

"Here." Sam pulls me down onto the bed. He shifts us so we're both lying down. ai turn over and he wraps his arms tightly around my waist. He buries his head in my shoulder. "Better?" I nod my head slightly.

He kisses my neck, "Good." He shifts again so He's practically covering my entire body. I fall asleep to Sam whispering to me that everything will be ok in the morning.

******

I wake up, still in Sam's arms. I smile a little and turn over pressing myself closer to him. He wakes up at my movement and looks at me.

"Finally awake?"

"What do you mean finally?"

"Your alarm went off for school. So I got up to turn it off. Michael was just coming in and he told me what happened to Kyle."

"What-" I take a sharp breath. "What happened?"

"Go to back to sleep Gabe."

"Why aren't we in school? What happened to Kyle? Sam tell me."

"Gabe-"

"He's dead isn't he? Sam tell me!"

"Yes, he's dead. Ok? Gabe just go back to sleep." He pulls me closer to him. He buries his head in my chest and takes a shaky breath. I can tell he's crying because my shirt starts to feel wet. I wrap my arms around him and rub his back.

"It's ok Sam. I'm sorry, I had to know. I'm sorry, I should've waited. I'm sorry." He continues to cry, and tears come to my eyes. I push them back, trying to keep myself together for Sam's sake. I always forget he's younger than me. "I'm sorry Sam."

"He cut too deep. His mom wasn't going to be home until an one. You woke up at ten and Michael got there and-"  
"Shhh. Sam. You don't have to tell me. I'll ask Michael later. It's ok you don't have to tell me." I pull him closer and rub his back soothingly. "Shhh."

After Sam falls asleep, I walk downstairs to get the whole story from Michael. Sam was right. Michael had walked in and blood had been everywhere. He had run up to Kyle and checked his pulse, checked everything but he was already dead. He quickly called the cops and his mom had gotten there within the hour. Our mom had called the school and told them none of us would be there for the rest of the week.

Michael goes up to his room after he tells me, he obviously held it together for me. Before he did, I had told him my dream. That we had forgotten who he was. That the last words I heard, was that he was gone.

I headed back up to my room after I got some water. I decided to get a glass for Sam too. He was still asleep, but I didn't wake him up. I just got in bed with him and curled myself around him. "It's ok Sam. It's ok."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can believe me the next chapter is worse.


	16. What's One More?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just, good luck, and enjoy.

_*_ _static_ _*_

_............._

_*_ _static_ _*_

_*_ _screaming_ _*_   
_STOP_ _!_ _I'M_ _SORRY_ _!_ _I'M_ _SORRY_ _!!_ _IT_ _ISN'T_ _MY_ _FAULT_ _!_ _IT_ _WAS_ _NEVER_ _MY_ _FAULT_ _!_

_*_ _static_ _* *_ _soft_ _crying_ _*_ _One_ _day_ _._ _One_ _day_ _we'll_ _be_ _together_ _right_ _Sam_ _?_ _I_ _wish_ _it_ _could_ _be_ _this_ _life_ _,_ _but_ _it_ _may_ _be_ _the_ _next_ _._ _I_ _can't_ _do_ _this_ _anymore_ _Sam_ _._ _I_ _can't_ _._ _I'm_ _struggling_ _just_ _to_ _shut_ _their_ _screams_ _out_ _._ _One_ _more_ _._ _One_ _more_ _day_ _._ _Maybe_ _tomorrow_ _I_ _can_ _say_ _that_ _too_ _._ _But_ _today_ _,_ _I'm_ _gonna_ _say_ _I_ _give_ _up_ _tomorrow_ _._ _It's_ _one_ _more day. What's_ _just_ _one_ _more_ _?_

********

Friday came, and none of us were ready to,go back to school. Every one of us had met up at our house. We never spoke, but if someone started to even sound like they were breaking, another one took them to a bedroom. Sometimes it was a couple, it it was mostly best friends.

Charlie kept me company every time, and I returned the favor most of the time. I always comforted Sam, though. If he started while I was comforting someone else, I would ask someone and comfort Sam. None of us could believe Kyle was gone.

Since it was Friday, we knew we had to get out. By Monday we'd have a lot of homework, and everything would be forced to go back to normal. So we all went to the roadhouse.

Charlie had never been there before, and even though he was Jo's boyfriend, neither had Michael.

"Whoa, Jo this is amazing. Why didn't you bring us here before?" Charlie questions. Anna comes up behind her and kisses her on the cheek.

I stand behind Sam who's sitting on one of the bat stools. My arms are wrapped around him and my head rests on his shoulder.

Even though he didn't know Kyle as long as the rest of us did, Kyle had been Sam's best friend. That is, his other, but not after me.

"Sam, you ok?" I whisper as the other walk around talking about how great everything is in the roadhouse.

He doesn't answer and I kiss him on the side of the head. "Sam. I know, its hard. But you have to talk at some point."

"Why would he say that?" It takes me a moment before I realize what he's saying. Kyle had written a note. It only had said one thing.

"Sam, you can't blame yourself for that."

"But Gabe, if we never told him he never would've-" He stops to take a shaky breath.

"Sam." He leans back on me and I wrap my arms a little tighter around me, holding him up. I can see on his face he's trying to keep the tears back. "It's ok, Sam. Just let it out. Go on, it's ok. Just tell me, let it out."

"I wish we had never gotten together. Just for his sake. It's not that I don't love you Gabe. It's just." His voice catches in his voice. "He kept living because he wanted to see us together. He finally did." I rub my hand up and down his arm in a soothing way and kiss his head again.

"I know. It's ok." I couldn't help but remember my dream and how Sam had forgotten him. That's how I knew it wasn't real. Sam was best friends with him. They teased me about my height together, because Kyle was only two inches shorter.

"Gabe, I don't want to forget him." My heart breaks. I didn't tell him about my dream, I refused. I only told Michael though. I wanted to get it out, but I didn't want Sam to be pitied or felt left out for not knowing.

I hold onto him tightly not wanting to let him go. "It's ok, Sam. I know. We won't. We won't forget. We'll get through this, get over it, but we won't forget." I manage to get out.

I can feel the heat behind my eyes. Everyone else is still enjoying themselves. I know their hearts break, but it affected us two the most.  _Kyle_ _._ _Why'd_ _you_ _have_ _to_ _choose_ _now_ _?_

*******

We had all left two hours later. It had gotten late. Ellen had asked Jo to stay behind and help clean up before she took her home.

Sam's dad said he could stay at my place for the weekend. He still hasn't let me go. Not once. He's always holding onto me, or just simply touching me. I feel like I'm his anchor, keeping him grounded so he doesn't do anything. I just hope I'm not a reminder for him.

About an hour after we got home, and we were settled in my room the phone rings. I answer, "Hello?"

"Gabe? Shit. Get down here as fast as you can. I've already called 911 get everyone down here. NOW!" Ash hangs up and I'm already bolting out of bed. Sams right behind me and I call to Michael.

"Michael, hurry up! Something's happened at the diner! Ash called, call Charlie and Anna! Hurry!!"

I grab Sam's hand and run to the car. We get in and once the car is on I hit the gas. Sam hit the back of his seat hard. "Sorry, Sam." I say quickly turning to the road. I speed down to the diner as fast as I could, ignoring speed limits on every road.

We aren't even a mile away when I see black smoke. My heart races and I can see Sam tensed up in the seat next to me. Just as we pull onto the road leading to the diner, we see the fire. I nearly swerve off the toad right then, but I knew I couldn't put Sam in any more danger than I already was.

We pull up to it and I hit the brakes. Sam braces himself by putting his hands on the dashboard. "I'm sorry, Sam." I reach other and kiss the side of his head and bolt out, going to find Ash. I already knew it was too late for Jo and Ellen.

"Gabe! Gabe!" Ash runs up to me and Sam. I look at him with worry and he nods. I turn and stare at the diner burning down.  _No_ _,_ _no_ _._ _Not_ _now_ _!_ _We_ _just_ _lost_ _Kyle_ _!_

"NO!!" I scream. I don't know what else to do. Ash grabs me as I try to bolt inside. He holds me back as I scream for Jo. I try to struggle against Ash, but another pair of arms hold me back as well. I can't see who it is through my tears.

I scream louder and push back away from them. Someone screams my name but I don't listen. I keep screaming and crying hoping this is all a dream. That the diner isn't really burning to the ground in front of my eyes.

I can see the fire spreading and completely consuming it. I can hear the wood falling inside. I don't want to hear it anymore. I don't want to hear the diner falling in on itself.

I fall to my knees crying. I see red and black again. I'm not sure if its mine, or the memory of Kyle's. Then I see orange. A dark orange, with a black, mixed with the red. Proving it's mine. I stand up and bolt yo the diner again, but someone holds me back.

"We have to save them!"  
"Gabe they can't be saved!" I can tell from the voice it's Michael's. He must have held me back earlier.

"Then let me through!"  
"I'm not letting you die with them!"  
"Kyle's gone! Jo's gone! What's one more?!"

"Gabe! Gabe listen to me!" He holds my arms as I try to break free and run to my dead friend inside. "Gabe! Are you really going to do that to Sam?! Are you really willing to sacrifice that? What's one more? One more and Sam's dead. One more and I'm dead. Gabe we need you. We need you to stay here. Don't do this to us, me. Don't do this to Sam!"

I continue to cry, but I don't struggle so much. Tears cloud my eyes. I can hear the fire engines though. Coming this way. They haven't arrived. I got here before them. Ash called them first. Suddenly, through all the tears and struggling, my vision goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What if I said that this isn't the most heartbreaking chapter? Would you still read?


	17. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post it early today, but I guess I kinda do everyday. Anyways, might be busy later so that's why. Your feels will now be repaired, that is, if they broke in the first place. Some fluff on the way for the next chapters, and enjoy!

_*_ _screaming_ _* *_ _loud_  c _rying*_ _*_ _sobbing_ _* *_ _static_ _*_

******  
I woke up at home in my bedroom. I was confused because the last the I remembered was the diner. Then I thought they probably brought me home. I went downstairs then to find out what happened.

I saw Michael slouching at the counter looking grim and my mother making him a bowl of cereal. When she saw me she ran over and gave me a hug.

"I'm so sorry Gabe."

"What happened? Please tell me it was just a fire and no an explosion." Her aura said an explosion, if it wasn't then she couldn't be dead. My mother stays silent for a minute before taking a deep breath.

"I'm not going to lie Gabe. It was. There was a gas leak and when they were cleaning..." My mom stops when Michael stands up from the table and goes upstairs without a word.

When Michael had gone upstairs she continued. "It caused an explosion. They didn't even need to search all night. They're bodies were found, right where the explosion happened."

I start to cry and she hugs me close. I bury my face in her long brown wavy hair. I try to pay attention to just that to block out the memory of last night. "I know, I'm sorry."

"H-how?" I sob.

  
"They aren't sure yet, they think the gas had been inside the oven. So when they went to open it to clean it..." I motion for her to stop and cry into her shoulder.  _This_ _can't_ _be_ _real_ _._ _This_ _is_ _impossible_ _._

When I calmed down my mom made a deal with me, I could stay home for one more week, but I'd have to go back at least on Friday. I'd also have to take care of Castiel on Monday because he is sick, and it gives me something to do. So I agreed.

Sam would go to school. He wouldn't hang out on the weekend, because he needs to recover at least a little. He's then to bring all of our homework home.

Monday went well, but Castiel was still sick. Sam and I got most of our homework done for both Mondays.

I had a chance to talk to Castiel for once. He told me he had a crush on a guy. Which was kind of surprising because he always seemed straight to me. Then again, I may have stereotyped him because he's a hardcore punk.

I learned from when Castiel was super dazed that the guy's name was Dean. It sounded familiar. I knew Sam had a brother so I would have to ask him later what the name was.

******  
_*_ _distant_ _screams* *_ _heavy_ _breathing_ _*_  
_******_

Tuesday was worse. Castiel got better in the morning and left by third hour. I was left alone. I was curled up on my bed when Sam walked in. He cuddled close to for an hour before he forced me to start doing homework.

******  
* _screaming_ _and_ _loud_ _sobbing_ *  
******

Wednesday got better. I had worked on makeup homework all day, so by the time Sam got back I only had one subject left.

****  
_I_ _give_ _up_ _._

_*****_

Thursday was the worst day. I had nothing to do, and I laid in bed and cried. Sam came home and I broke down even further. He comforted me for two hours. He had to force me to get up and do homework again. I begged him not to leave when he had to. He gave in and stayed for another half hour.

****

Friday had gone well. Most people told me how sorry they were. Thankfully none of them gave me pity looks. The teachers did go a little easy on me thankfully.

I sat on the desk like I normally do when Sam looks up at me. I glance over at him.

"Need something?" He nods and I look up fully at him.

"I need my boyfriend back." I feel a pang of guilt. I'm so much older than he is. I should be the one putting him back together not the other way around.

"I'm sorry Sam. I'm so sorry." His eyes widen.

"Oh my god. Gabe I didn't-"  
"It's ok Sam. I'm sorry you have to go through all this. I shouldn't-" He stands up suddenly and hugs me.

"Your feelings are valid, ok? I just don't want you getting so involved in them you forget who you are. That there is still stuff we need to do."

"And what about you? They're your friends too. I can't believe I forgot-"

"It's ok. We'll get through this. You told me so." He pulls back to look at my face. He moves a strand of hair out my face and smiles. "I believe in you. I trust you that we'll get through this. I have hope."

I smile. No matter what is thrown at him, he struggles through it. It makes me feel insignificant because so far I've just tried to run.

"I don't know how you do this Sam. I mean, you're getting through this so much better,  _and_ you're younger than me." He smiles and kisses me softly.

"We'll get through this."

******

After that, the weeks went by fast. We each took it day by day. We got through it. Finally winter came, and both Sam and I had gotten straight A's for the entire semester.

"Gabe!"

"Sam, trust me."

"That'd not what I'm worried about."

"Then what are you worried about?"

"I'm not worried about anything."

"Then why did you imply that you were worrie-"

"Gabe!" I laugh at him "Ok, trust me this is gonna work." I take another cookie and move back over to Sam who's sitting in the chair.

I raise my arm to place the last cookie, the eighteenth cookie to be exact. The stack rested on his forehead and I carefully place the cookie so it doesn't tip over the stack. Just as I place it on top Sam jumps up, throwing the cookies everywhere.

"Sam!"  
"Gabe!" He imitates my voice.  
"You ruined it." I whine.

"Ok, so I wanted to eat the cookies. Get over it." He picks up one of the cookies that landed on the table and bites it.

"Whatever." I do the same and start picking up the cookies that landed on the ground. I stand back up and look at Sam who looks away suddenly. "Were you checking me out?"

"What?" He asks innocently picking up another one off the desk. I turn around and glance in the mirror. I watch for a second as his gaze moves down my body and back up.

"You are checking me out!" I yell turning around with a smile on my face. He shrugs.

"Not ashamed, you're my boyfriend. If someone else did, I'd beat their ass."

"Language, Sam." I joke.

"Oh but you're totally ok with me beating someone up?"

"Well you haven't exactly grown into your size yet. To be honest you are just a weak ass freshy who happens to be a junior."

I turn around to finish cleaning up the cookies before I'm thrown onto the bed. Sam pins me down and looks at me passively. He leans down and whispers in my ear.

"Weak? Sorry, but who just got pinned to the bed?" He bites me ear and leans up to look down at me. My heart is racing. He stares at my lips.

I surge up and capture his lips in a passionate kiss. He holds me up and grabs at the back of my shirt. I reach up and tangle one of my hands in his hair, pressing closer.

"Hey Ga-neeever mind." Castiel says walking through the door, then back out. Sam pulls back and turns to look then smiles. I keep staring at him until he turns back to me, but then I only smile wider.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Gabe what is it?" I keep smiling, not saying anything. "Gabe!" I laugh throwing my head back. He just rolls his eyes, waiting for me to answer.  _I_ _love_ _you_ _,_ _Sam_ _._

"I just can't believe it's winter break."

"Yeah." He smiles. After a moment, his smile drops.

"Sam, you ok?"

"Yeah. We just won't be spending it with Jo or Kyle. I never will." He says sadly. I pull him close and hug him a tight. I kiss the side of his head. I can feel the threat of tears but I hold them back for Sam. I know if I do he will, and it's been a month or so.

"I know. It's going to be ok. But hey, we got back to our normal selves right? That's an achievement."

He sniffs. "Yeah, I just was looking forward to all of it. I'll manage. You'll be there with me right?"

"Yeah, didn't my mom say your family could come over for Christmas?" He smiles.

"Yeah. I know." I smile and push him away lightly on the shoulder.

"Come on we have to pick this mess up. By the way what's your brother's name again?"

"Dean, and why?"

"I love how you said the answer and then questioned why I'm asking."

"You're changing the subject."

"That I am."

"Why?"

"Why what? Why am I changing the subject or why did I ask for your brother's name?"

"Name."

"Because I forgot. And also I think my brother has a crush on him."

"Michael?"

"No, Castiel."

"Oh. You sure?"

"Well when he was sick he said that he had a crush and his name was Dean."

"Hm. Dean hasn't said anything about a crush. Although he has been acting strange lately." I smile.

"Is your brother still in the closet?"

"I don't think he wants to come out." I laugh at that, nearly falling to the ground and dropping the cookies back on the ground.

Sam rolls his eyes at me. He cleans up the rest taking mine from me as I still struggle to stop laughing and breathe.


	18. Holidays are Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it seems kind of rushed. But there's so much fluff!

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"Gabe!" Hannah comes screaming into my room. "Gabe it's Christmas!" She jumps on me and I groan.  _Great_ _,_ _I'll_ _add_ _that_ _to_ _the_ _stockpile_ _of_ _bruises_ _._

"Ok I'm up, I'm up." I say as I sit up. She rolls off to the side and looks up at me. I run a hand through my hair before I bolt out of bed. "I'll beat you downstairs!"

I hear a "No fair!" behind me and smile. I knew my mom would be asleep so I decided to make some breakfast for her. Hannah walked in and I asked her if she wanted to help. She was about to say  _yes_ _,_ happily I may add, when the doorbell rang. 

"I got it!" She screams and runs to the door. I look at the time and see its only eight.  _Who_ _comes_ _to_ _the_ _door_ _at_ _eight_ _in_ _the_ _morning_ _on_ _Christmas_ _?_ _Sam_ _doesn't_ _even_ _need_ _to_ _be_ _here_ _until_ _noon_ _._

"Gabe!" Hannah comes running in with a smile. I smile back but turn back to the food. "Gabe!" I look over my shoulder and she has a pout. I roll my eyes.

"Come here quickly." She rushes over grabbing a stool. "Mom's going to kill me for doing this but here." I hand her the spatula. "Move it slowly this way, and bring it up and back. That way you really scramble it." I tickle her and she giggles. "And the bacon you just watch, and when that turns a normal color of bacon, flip it, Ok?" She nods and I rush to the front door.

"Sam!" I exclaim when I see him and run up to hug him. He smiles and kisses me on the cheek before stepping inside.

"Sorry, I'm early. Dean kind of kicked me out." At that moment Castiel decided to come down from the stairs.

"Wait, Dean? You have a brother named Dean?" I turn away from Cas and try not to smile. Sam is much better at being serious.

"Yeah, he should be coming later." He says like he doesn't even know Cas has a crush. Cas looks a little worried but after a moment he goes to the kitchen.

"Oh, crap, Hannah!" I run to the kitchen to see her just as I left her. I grab a couple plates then walk over to Hannah. "Great job. Can you get the pancake mix now?" She hands me the spatula then gets down to get it.

Sam and Cas then join in to help. Sam and I work on the pancakes, Cas and Hannah making more eggs and bacon. During all that Michael came down and started helping with the rest of it. Luckily with that many, we managed not to make a mess.

Finally we get to eat. Sam and I, eat at the counter while Castiel, Michael, and Hannah eat at the table. Then my mom comes down. She stares at us with her jaw to the floor.

"Oh my god! You guys! This us so wonderful!" She comes over and hugs each of us and kisses us on the head. "Did you all help? Oh my god, I don't care. Whoever made this, I love you more than the rest."

"We all did it." I say, then point to Sam. "He's not even your kid and he helped." Sam smiles sheepishly.

"People can say they have the best kids in the world, but at least I have an actual argument." We all laugh and enjoy our breakfast.

Sam insists on us opening our presents without him. We convince him to at least stay in the room, but can't get him to open his. We all open our presents but I stay seated by Sam. Castiel tries to hold in a laugh when Sam leans on my shoulder, but I glare at him. After all the presents are opened, Sam helps get mine upstairs. My mom starts making lunch, and the rest do whatever with their presents. When we get to my room I dump everything on my bed. I grab clothes and go to change in the bathroom. When I get back, Sam is on the bed looking at some of them.

"What?" I ask.

"These are all great."

"But?" He looks up smiling.

"Mine's better." I smile.

"Sure it is."

"It is."

"Prove it."

"Not now."

"Saaaam!"

"Gaaaabe!" He smiles and walks over and plants a kiss on my forehead. I give a little pout and he kisses my cheek. I look up with my best sad eyes and he just laughs. I'm about to turn away when he leans down and kisses me fully in the lips.

"Hey! No PDA!" I hear Castiel shout behind me.

"I'm in my room, its private."

"The door is open!"

"You'd like to have some PDA with Dean wouldn't you." There's a silence and Sam laughs. He closes the door and kisses me again.

Sam and I were messing around of my new computer game when the doorbell rang. "I got it!" Castiel shouts. I can hear him running down the stairs to the front door. I snicker and Sam hits my shoulder. We walk downstairs in time to see Castiel run back upstairs. "Hide me!" He whisper shouts as he pushes past me. I smile.

"My brother has a crush on your brother." Sam sighs.

"Hey that's great news we can see each other more." I say smiling and then kiss him on the cheek. He rolls his eyes and says something along the lines of as straight as a ruler. The rest of the day goes well, until dinner comes. We all sit at the dining room table. We all have great seats, except the lovebirds were all separated.

I swear every five minutes Castiel and Dean were eye-fucking each other. I keep motioning at Sam to them, because Dean being next to me is annoying me. He's 'straight' and he's eye-fucking my brother. Yeah, not straight. Dean and I start a silent under the table war. It ends when he almost screeches when I stab with with my spare fork. Dean then glares at Sam who tries not to laugh.

Castiel and Sam got along pretty well. Then my mom and his dad go out to the bar. Michael goes with them, but he plans to do other stuff. He's only going so if both get drunk someone can bring them home.

Sam brings me outside after they leave. I pout at him. "This better be where I get my present, because everyone else got theirs earlier an-" He cuts me off by kissing me.

"Gabe shut up. I took you outside because one, you friggin' have a no ceiling treehouse." I give him a look and he laughs. "I'm younger, I'll do what I want. Anyways, here, there's number two." He hands me a wrapped box. I can tell he did it because its horribly wrapped, but I smile because he tried.

I unwrap it quickly, with Sam pulling me to the treehouse as I do. My eyes widen. "Sam."

"What? You actually think I'm a story writer?" In the box was a notebook, which I barely recognized. It was the one he had hidden from me twice now.

"But you're still a writer." He shrugs. He pulls me up into the treehouse. I gape at what's inside. "How the-" Sam just pulls me onto the pile of blankets. The entire thing was set up, with blankets hanging from the walls and an almost nest if them on the floor. He had a couple lights hanging but they were red.

"Why are the lights red?"

"Look up." I do and the stars shine brightly through the branches. "The red light reduces light pollution so we can actually see the stars, but that way we can still see." He smiles.

"You're such a nerd." He smiles wider.

"I'm your nerd."

"Well I never said you weren't."

"Shut up. Are you gonna read it?"

"Right now."

"Nooooo."

"Why not?"

"It's embarrassing."

"Well then I won't read it out loud." He grumbles more but eventually just sits back on the pile of blankets looking up at the stars. I sit right next to him and curl up against him.

He puts his arm around me finally settling down to look at the stars. I laughed at some of what he wrote, and he just groaned in response. He would interrupt me to point out a constellation or shooting star. We spent the rest of the night in the treehouse.

*****

New Year's was great. We spent it at Sam's place. Especially now since Dean got his head out his ass and asked Cas out. That's another thing, he calls him Cas. I caught on apparently, but who can blame me? It's shorter.

Neither Sam or I wanted to do the corny New Year's kiss. But Cas was sitting next to me on the couch and shoved me into Sam. I'm so done with that punk.

****

Valentine's was a blast. Again neither of us went with tradition, well sort of. We just climbed the treehouse and watched romantic comedies. He did give me chocolate too, which apparently is what he got when he bought us the weird root beer and rose flavored candy.

*****

Our parents got drunk on St. Patrick's day. It was hilarious. They kept thinking that they were married to some random shit. Sam's dad though he was married to a pineapple, and my mom a peach. It wasn't until one of them tried to grab a knife that Michael told Dean to being his dad home.

After Dean had left, Sam turned to me. "What's wrong with our families?"

"I don't know, it only happens during the holidays. I guess holidays are special."

"They're supposed to be."

"I don't think like this."

"Point taken."


	19. Leaving Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is where things start to go downhill.....

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After all the holidays, we finally get to celebrate Sam's birthday. I didn't care so much about Dean's or Michael's. We had just been hanging out because he didn't really want to go anywhere when the bell rang.

Sam went downstairs to answer while I looked out the window. I backed away instantly. Three government cars were parked out front.  _What_ _do_ _they_ _want_ _?_ _why_ _are_ _they_ _here_ _?_

I crept down the stairs until I could hear them talking. I hoped he wouldn't open the door but it was too late. I peaked past the railing to look behind me and down the hall that lead to the front door.

A tall man, taller than Sam, stood dressed in a sharp black business suit. "You were just the man we needed to speak to. Would you mind if we stepped inside to answer some questions?"

"I'll answer your questions but you can't come inside."

"Is anyone else home?"

"No."  _Why_ _is_ _Sam_ _lying_ _?_ _What's_ _happening_ _?_

I move off the stairs and slowly made my way to the back door and opened it loudly.

"That must've been my dad, or my brother, or my boyfriend. He's celebrating..."

"What is he celebrating?" The man asks as I come up the hallway and step up towards Sam.

"Well, shouldn't you know since you already know my name?"

"Sam."

"Samuel."

"Mr. Winchester, sass will not be tolerated and seen as refusing to speak."

"My birthday." The man nods and writes something down in his notebook. I step a bit in front of Sam and reach behind me for his hand. He gladly takes it, but he squeezes my hand a little too tightly.  _Why_ _is_ _Sam_ _so_ _scared_ _?_ _What_ _do_ _these_ _men_ _want_ _?_

The man looks me up and down. "Are you Gabriel Novak?"

"Yes, who's asking?"

"And you are a Stygian correct?"

"Anaglyph." Sam says with venom.

"Right in this region it's anaglyph. So you can see Mr. Winchester's aura correct?"

I don't answer.

"Answer." Sam says after a moment of silence. He holds my arm with his other hand, trying to be reassuring but it doesn't work. He's too scared.  _They_ _have_ _this_ _information_ _,_ _right_ _?_ _I_ _mean_ _they_ _knew_ _me_ _just_ _by_ _looking_ _at_ _me_ _._ _Why_ _do_ _they_ _need_ _to_ _ask_ _?_

After another moment the man asks again. Sam's grip on my hand and arm tighten.I then realize I never told Sam.  _I_ _never_ _told_ _Sam_ _he_ _doesn't_ _have_ _an_ _aura_ _._

"Yes, I can. Why do you ask?"

"What color is it?" I stop.  _He_ _doesn't_ _have_ _one_ _._  "Mr. Novak I asked a question." Sam tenses up behind me.

"I can hear. I just...." Sam's grip tightens on me. I have to protect him. "It isn't good, and I hate even seeing it a lot of the time. I can't." I pretend to start tearing up.The man looks at me with confusion.

"He has one?"

"Of course, doesn't everyone?" I say.  _What's_ _wrong_ _with_ _Sam_ _?_

"Mr. Novak, I'd like you to take a second look."

"Why? I see it everyday."

"Mr. Novak, I know you are lying." My shoulders drop. I straighten up my posture and put on a brave face. Which at the moment I was scared as hell from these guys, they're feds.

"Fine. He doesn't have one. There's nothing." He writes a note in his notebook. "May I ask what is going on?"

"Mr. Winchester is a timelive. He is a very dangerous type of human. His body's reactions to him getting hurt will be more effective, fast, and continually keep him alive no matter how life threatening the situation was."

"I don't understand." The man then pulls out a gun and shoots it at Sam's shoulder. I stare at Sam in shock and turn to attack the man. I didn't though because he had the gun pointed at me.

"Watch." I turn to look at Sam. He looks dazed and a little confused. The man hit him right in the heart. He should be dead. I watch in fascination as the wound slowly closes up and the only thing left is a small scar and the blood-stained clothes.

"That- That should've killed him!" My eyes are wide in shock and horror.  _Timelive_.

"His body uses his surroundings to help him heal faster, in this case the bullet." I look at the floor and he is right. There is no bullet. "I can tell you right now if you were to x-ray him, there would be no sign of a bullet."

Sam comes out of his shock. He stares at me like he's just murdered my entire family. "Gabe."

"Sam, you did nothing wrong." I turn and glare at the man. I move to stand in front of Sam, holding my arm out behind me to keep Sam back. "He was the one that shot you. He was the one who revealed it. We could've lived on, until he came and ruined it."

"On the contrary, if you lived, one, you would see he doesn't age. Of course this would not be shown until he'd be at least forty to fifty years old."

"I don't care. You need to leave now."

"I cannot. I must take him with me. Of course, he can say goodbye to his family...and yours to seeing as you are... hmm...together." He seems disgusted by that part.

"No." I say, glaring harder at him.

"Sir, that would mean you are resisting arrest. You would have to be arrested and detained."

"He isn't leaving. This is home, where his family is and the people he loves."

"Unfortunately all timelives must be under our jurisdiction by the age of sixteen. Sam has turned sixteen, he is now by law under our jurisdiction."

"Why?"  _I was right, it wasn't a coincidence._ The man is silent. "Its because when he's eighteen he's legally an adult and you can't take him then can you?"

"I am not aloud to say anything further."

"Good, now leave."

"We'll be coming back tonight for him. Say your last goodbyes." The man turns away and I slam the door.

"Gabe." Sam's voice breaks. I turn around. Sam has his puppy dog face, with tears in his eyes.

"I'm calling up everyone, we're meeting at my house. Now." I immediately get my phone out. I send a group text before starting to call people. I have Sam drive to my house and within half an hour everyone has rushed home. Both our families, and Charlie, Anna, and Ash are crammed into the living room

"Sam can't leave! They can't do this!"

"We have to give him over, they said they would arrest of us if we wouldn't let them take him."

"It still isn't right, taking a child from his own family?" Sam and I sit in silence as they all debate and talk about what's going on.

"GUYS!" Castiel shouts. Everyone turns to look at him. "Sam needs to leave." A large amount of protests are thrown at him before he holds up his hand. When they don't stop he screams. "SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN!" He gives everyone his best glare and everyone takes a seat. "Sam has to leave. We are  _not_ handing him over. He has to go  _on the run_. It's the best explanation. We'll all get arrested if we keep him, and we are definitely  _not_ handing him over." Most people nod, but others look wary. "Look its the best way, and even if,  _if_ _,_ he gets caught. It will only be one or two more of us."

When they all agree I stand up to leave. It's obvious I won't be able to go. So I start climbing up the steps. "Gabe has to go with Sam." Charlie says. Everyone in my family yells at her. I stop on the stairs and turn to look down at them.

"There's no way in heaven or on earth am I letting my little bro leave with his  _boyfriend_." Michael retorts.

"Gabe could just endanger him more! Plus Sam needs an  _adult_ with him. A  _mature_ adult." My mom gives me a pointed look.

"Gabe and Sam are only  _boyfriends_ , too! It's not like they're planning on getting married!" Castiel backfires. The room goes silent.

Everyone turns to look at me. "What?" I ask. Half of them sigh in exasperation. They others look at those ones with looks of 'I told you so'. "What?! Somebody tell me or I'm gonna blow a gasket."

I look over at Sam, who's face is red in a blush and looking down. "Wait. You mean you really didn't know?" Castiel asks with a smirk. "I told you people. I told every one of you. It's a fling. There's no way they can be together forever! They're teens!"

"Shut up! And I bet you feel like you're going to marry Dean aren't you!" I scream at him. I march down the stairs and right up to him. He's already grown taller than me. He still has a smirk on his face, like he's challenging me. "No, I'm not thinking about marriage. I want to do it right. And if that means waiting a few more years just so I know it isn't a 'fling' and that I truly do love him I will. And I shouldn't be judged for it. Yes, I love Sam. I would love to marry him. The thing is, he's sixteen. He has his life ahead of him, and so do I. We could've gone down separate paths, and I wouldn't want to destroy his or my future because of marriage. And look, I was right. His life is going in a different direction than mine. But you know what? If I had the chance right now to marry him I would. You want to know why? Because I know I love him. I know I would protect him through anything. We made it through two deaths last year. That  _guy_ SHOT Sam. Sam lived, but that doesn't mean I won't stop protecting him! I love him, because he's going a different direction than me, and I'm gonna make damn well sure I follow or get him on the same path as me again! I am not leaving him, and I'm not going to let him leave me. I'm  _definitely_  not going to let someone take him away from me either! So you can shove your hot head up your ass and think about what you just said!" I scold. Everyone looks at me with either terror or admiration. I may be a lot shorter than most of them, but I sized up to Castiel pretty well.

"Then I guess it's settled. Gabriel is going with Sam, whether we like it or not." Ash says. Everyone nods.

"Its probably safest for just them then." Dean finally speaks. I stare at him. "Dude, yeah, we hate each other for what happened at Christmas, but considering you haven't even banged him...." Both Sam's and my faces go red. "That reaction proves it. But not only that, but you were willing to put off your own wants for his needs. And not just were, even now you are. I trust you to protect my brother. But I swear if you come home without him. I will kill you, no hesitation."

"Why not everybody just make a speech!" John says. "I guess I'll go next. My reason is almost exactly what Dean said, just not the second part. These two haven't done it, and desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm pretty sure none if us want to be there when it happens." This time everyone's face goes red. Dean walks over and slaps his dad and John falls to the floor in a heap. He moans but doesn't even try to get up.

"Yupp he's drunk. But at least he cares when he's drunk now." Dean says void of any emotion.

After a moment everyone starts to leave. Michael and my mom move to help me pack. Sam goes with Dean and Castiel to pack. After an hour he comes back with everything packed.

It's almost awkward to say goodbye. But we say it, and just as we're about to leave, Hannah comes racing down. "Gaaaabe!" She has tears in her eyes.

"Gabe don't leave!"

"Hannah I have to." The tears overflow and she let's out a wail.

"NOO! Gabe you can't leave! Who's gonna tuck me in? I wake you up! Who's gonna do that? What am I gonna do? Gabe you can't leave!" I hug her tight to me as she cries.

"It's ok Hannah. Michael can be your dummy, Sam can wake me up, and Castiel can tuck you in. I know it won't be the same, but Hannah, I have to." She continues to cry but let's me go. She nods her head and turns to hug my mother's legs.

We all say one last goodbye and we head out the door. I look back at my house for the last time. There's no way we can come back here. This place we called our home, it's not our home anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also posting two chapters today, because 1) I feel like it 2) GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGALIZED why not celebrate by giving two chapters?


	20. Fallen In Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting sadder.....

Sam~

_I_ _pace_ _outside_ _._ _The_ _radio_ _still_ _plays_ _our_ _story_ _,_ _but_ _Gabe_ _hasn't_ _interrupted_ _._ _When_ _they_ _cut_ _to_ _his_ _part_ _so_ _he_ _can_ _speak_ _,_ _its_ _only_ _silence_ _._ _I_ _know_ _he's_ _gone_ _._ _They_ _took_ _him_ _out_ _._ _He_ _gave_ _up_ _,_ _gave_ _into_ _their_ _torture_ _._

_The_ _only_ _thing_ _is_ _that_ _they'll_ _torture_ _him_ _even_ _more_ _now_ _._ _I_ _keep_ _pacing._ I can't take it anymore. Dean needs to come, he needs to save Gabe. I need him. _I_ _stop_ _and_ _stand_ _still_ _._

I need him.  _I_ _break_ _down_ _crying_ _._ _He's_ _everything_ _to_ _me_ _._ _He_ _kept_ _me_ _safe_ _and_ _sane_ _through_ _everything_ _that_ _happened_ _._ _When_ _Kyle_ _..._ _and_ _Jo_ _._ _When_ _we_ _were_ _escaping_ _._

_I_ _love_ _him_ _._ _I'm_ _in_ _love_ _with_ _him_ _,_ _I_ _know_ _I_ _do_ _._ _I've_ _always_ _known_ _,_ _that_ _first_ _day_ _I_ _knew_ _._ _I_ _loved_ _his_ _whiskey_ _colored_ _eyes and his_ _blondish_ _hair_ _._ _I_ _loved_ _how_ _he_ _was_ _so_ _much_ _shorter_ _than_ _me_ _._ _He_ _didn't_ _even_ _realize_ _it_ _,_ _but_ _half_ _the_ _time_ _he_ _would_ _flirt_ _with_ _me_ _._

_I_ _can't_ _..._ _I_ _can't_ _live_ _without_ _him_ _._ _I_ _need_ _him_ _._ _He_ _makes_ _me_ _so_ _happy_ _,_ _so_ _worry_ _free_ _because_ _I_ _know_ _he'll_ _help_ _me_ _and_ _protect_ _me_ _._ _Other_ _people_ _can_ _do_ _that_ _I_ _know_ _,_ _but_ _I_ _don't_ _trust_ _them with_ _my_ _life_ _like_ _I_ _do_ _Gabe_ _._

_"_ _Gabe_ _._ _Gabriel_ _stay_ _alive_ _._ _Please_ _._ _Please_ _be_ _alive_ _._ _Don't_ _leave_ _me_ _."_ _I_ _wish_ _I was_ _never_ _born_ _._ _Then_ _I_ _wouldn't_ _be_ _this_ _._ _And_ _Gabe_ _wouldn't_ _have_ _ever_ _been_ _in_ _danger_ _._ _Gabe_ _wouldn't_ _be_ _tortured_ _right_ _now_ _._ _Gabe_ _wouldn't_ _be_ _at_ _risk_ _of_ _dying_ _for_ _my_ _sake_ _. I'd kill myself, but_ _because_ _I'm_ _a_ _timelive_ _,_ _I'll_ _never_ _die_ _._

*****

When the feds found out we left, they went after us. It wasn't like some high-speed chase like in the movies, but it wasn't an easy get away either.

So, we kept driving all over. Never stayed in a city too long. Occasionally we would call home. Once every couple weeks. Never from a traceable phone, only disposable. It was June, almost July and we still hasn't found any place that could be safe.

I looked over to he passenger side and saw Sam resting peacefully. I couldn't stand seeing him like this. I knew a place I could possibly go, but I had no clue how to get there. I wasn't even sure if he was there anymore.

I had to find him though, he could be our only chance. I pull up to yet another motel. I look over at Sam, I really don't want to wake him. So I walk in and pay for a room before walking back out to him. I wake him up enough so I can get him out of the car.

When we get to the motel I move him towards the bed and he immediately flops down and curls himself into a cocoon with the blankets. He looks so unhappy and stressed. I wanted to take a quick shower, so I grabbed my bag to start grabbing clothes. My mind wandered to other things that could happen in the shower, but immediately snapped myself out of it remembering Sam's been under a lot of stress and way too exhausted.

When I got out of the shower, I looked over at Sam. His arm was outstretched like he was trying to reach something. I slowly get into the bed and pull Sam to me. He instantly smiles and presses closer. He rest his head on my chest and wraps his arms around my waist.

I don't sleep, I can't. I think about how we could've stayed and not been in this mess. Ever since we left, the feds have been on our trail. One town we had come, there were men in suits, everywhere. We hoped none of them would spot us, but one did and when he saw Sam he instantly made a signal. We had at least three guys try to jump us at once. So, we ran. Luckily we got to my car and we sped out of there. They still got a few shots in my car, though. Trying to slow us down, kill the driver to get to Sam. They could shoot Sam, it's not like he would die anyways.

Around midnight Sam wakes up. "Shh. Sam go back to sleep."

"Gabe...."

"Go to sleep, Sam. You're exhausted." He holds me tightly.

"Gabe...." I run a hand through his hair and kiss his head. I bury my face in his long hair. "Have you slept?" I close my eyes.

"No."

"You need to."

"I know."

"What do you need?"

"I don't know." He starts to sit up and I turn away slightly so he wouldn't see how my eyes have teared up. He keep can arm around my waist.

"Gabe." I don't answer. "Gabriel." I look at him and take a deep breath. He looks so worried, but dead tired. I hug him to me.

"I wish things were different. I wish we weren't so irrational."

"They agreed! Does that make them better? In fact, they were the ones to come up with the plan."

"Yeah, but I was the one who put you in danger in the last city."

"Gabe that wasn't your fault you didn't know. Plus, it's not like we could've driven through there anyways."

"This all is so stupid. I can't believe I did this. All for love." I stopped.  _Shit_ _._  "Sam?" I say pleasingly.

"Gabe you're tired." He says, sounding defeated and hurt.

"Sam I'm sorry." I beg.

"Go to sleep Gabe." The tears start to fall from my eyes.

"We shouldn't have left Sam! I'm sorry, we shouldn't have. I'm sorry I think this. I should've been arrested. It would've been better. I shouldn't have-" He kisses me hard and quick. Then he looks me in the eyes with a dead serious face.

"Gabriel Novak. You are tired. Go to sleep."

"I can't!" I say, nearly yelling. He looks at me with pity. "I can't sleep." I turn my head away from him. "I'm sorry." I whisper.

"We'll stay here for a few days then." I agree silently and close my eyes. I'm so tense, I can't sleep. I turn fully away from Sam and he wraps his arms around me again. He buries his head in my neck. After awhile he moves one leg over me. Then he keeps moving closer to the point where he's over half my body. He feels like my blanket now.

"Sam?"

"Hmmm?"

"Dammit you're still awake."

"Of course, I'm not sleeping until you do."

"Sam."

"Yes Gabe?" I shake my head. He kisses the side of neck. He refuses to sleep all night. In the morning we don't get up, but neither of us sleep.

By noon Sam gets up to get food. I stay in bed. I must have slept because the next thing I remember is waking up and it's nearly two o'clock. Sam had brought food, but he was back in bed with arms wrapped around me.

He wasn't really asleep though. When I looked at him his eyes were focused on the food he brought.

"Why didn't you eat anything?" He shook his head.

"I waited for you." My heart broke.  _He_ _waited_ _for_ _me_ _._  He waited for me to sleep. He waited for me to wake up so he could eat. He knows what else he's waited for me to do before he did something.

"God, Sam. Don't wait for me, not when it comes to food. Ok?"

"I'm not going to wake you up from a peaceful sleep though. You need it."

"I know, eat the food by yourself while you're waiting. Please do that next time." He nods his head. I kiss him on the forehead and we both get up to eat.

We're running out of money and I know it. I need to find Frank Devereaux and fast. We can't be on the run much longer. We never should have been anyways. It's all because of a stupid mistake. I fell in love. I fell in love and I couldn't let go. That should've been a sign I was in over my head.

When Sam finishes eating he looks so much better. I won't be able to feed him as much anymore. We need to stop moving so I can get money.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to stop here-?"

"What you're going to just give up here? We've been at this for only a couple months and you're already willing to give up?"

"No! I wouldn't give you up! Never! What I said this morning.... I was disoriented. I was tired. What I said before we left, was truth. I don't regret saying any of that. Yes, it was a stupid irrational decision to run, it seemed like the only option then. Now, it isn't rational.But no matter how stupid it was, the reason wasn't. A lot of people say that high school relationships won't last, but you know what? The percentage of people who are married to their high school sweetheart proves otherwise. Sam, I'm  _not_ giving you up. We  _will_ get through this." Sam has tears in his eyes. "I'm not letting you go for anything."

"Then why-"

"I was merely asking if you wanted to stop somewhere so I could find a job and earn us some money before we start running out." He closes his eyes and nods.

"Why can't I get a job?"

"Sam, you do realize if any one of the federal agents even catches a glimpse of you, they'll arrest you on the spot, right?"

"Fair point. But what am I supposed to do while you're gone?"

"Research. Research timelives. Everything, it can get hard you know because you're one of them, and the man said that timelives were dangerous and a threat."

"Ok." I reach over and hug him.

"We'll figure this out, got it?"

"Yeah." He pulls back to look at me. He kisses me. It's slow at first, but he becomes more desperate. I do too, but before it goes anywhere he stops and looks me in the eyes. "Gabe." I look at him in slight confusion.

He pulls me into his lap and he kisses me again. He moves his hands to the sides of face. He kisses my forehead, my cheeks, my nose. He kisses me all over my face. "I love you, Gabe." He kisses my lips. "I didn't get to tell you before." He wraps an arm around me. "I've always loved you, from the moment I saw you." He pulls me closer and I can't help but get lost in his words.

"I love you. The moment I saw you I wanted to know more about you. When I found out you were the one who was supposed to show me around, I felt too lucky. You didn't make fun of me for being a nerd, a geek, or a writer. You encouraged me so much. You helped me through with Kyle. You didn't shut me down. You made the first move to bring us together. You refused to let us be apart. You said you loved me twice, now it's my turn. I love you. I love your smile and how you can joke around. Turning serious situations happy again, without crossing any lines. I how your hair glows, and it makes you look like an angel. Your eyes shine bright, like sunlight through whiskey. I love when they turns golden color too, to match you hair. I love how you care about others. For someone so small, you have a big appearance, and I love that. I fell for you Gabe, I'm in love with you."

I kiss Sam then. Hard and passionate. He kisses me back. I think back, we've both made declarations of how we've fallen in love. They were like friggin' speeches. "Marry me." I whisper between kisses.

"I thought that was implied." He smiles. He picks me up and moves us towards the bed. I'm too lost in what he said to notice.

"It wasn't a question." The world falls away behind us, it feels like we're the only ones left. The only thing I can feel is Sam's lips against mine.


	21. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey some fluff, before it gets bad.. I mean whaaat??

I wake up in Sam's arms again, but this time it's different.  _A lot_ different, not that I'm complaining. In fact, I'm totally cool waking up naked next to him. I just wish the circumstances were different.

I get up to move, and go take a shower, but Sam's arms tighten around me. I whisper to him in his ear that I'll just be taking a shower, and then he lets me go. When I walk back out from the hot shower, with only a towel around my waist, I thought Sam would be all over me again. That is, only because he nearly attacked me.

He popped out of nowhere and I nearly screamed. He smiled, kissed me, the entered the bathroom shutting the door fast. "That dummy." I quickly got dressed before standing next to the bathroom door. When he walked out, I slipped into the bathroom. He didn't notice.

"Gabe?" His voice sounded a little frantic.

"What?" I tell with a tooth brush in my mouth and toothpaste already foaming a bit. He pops back over by the door.

"How did you...? I mean were you...?" He looks so puzzled and lost. So I just smile and continue brushing my teeth. "So we're you in here the entire time?" I rinse my mouth out with water before turning to Sam. I quirk my eyebrow and he gives me a glare. "Seriously, how did you do it?"

"Teleportation." I say simply.

"Liar." He squints his eyes.

"Trickster." I correct. He rolls his eyes.

"Loki."

"Hey, he's the best god out there and you know it. Every other god gets credit for some creation or job. That's so boring.  _He_ gets credit for screwing around and just being an over all arrogant dick." Sam smiles.

"Shut up, Gabe. You aren't him." He walks over and reaches across me to grab his toothbrush. He leans down and kisses my cheek. I move out of the way and he ends up missing, almost falling forward on me. "Why you little..." I take advantage and kiss his cheek before turning to run free. He grabs me by my arm and spins me around. "Nice try." I squirm in his grasp. "Uh uh."

"Just brush your teeth." I say rolling my eyes. He does by letting me go and grabbing his tooth brush again.

*****

After a few days, I had found a couple jobs to earn money. We knew we had to leave that week, but that was the only thing we agreed on.

"We need to leave tomorrow. We have money, and those guys will be catching up with us soon. They weren't far behind us." I say getting out our duffel bags.

"No, we have to have  _enough_ money. We  _need_  money. We need to take the risk. Plus, it's only another hundred dollars, so it will only be like two, three days tops." He takes them from me. I give a loud sigh.

"We shouldn't take that risk. They could even be here right now."

"Gabe.." I look away. I'm not facing his puppy dog eyes. "You even said we need the money."

"Fine! But if I die-" I start, crossing my arms.

"You aren't going to die. I'll protect you." He says smiling, wrapping his arms around me. He kisses the top of my head, but I keep my arms crossed. "Oh stop pouting." He laughs and rests his chin on my head.

"I'm the one supposed to protect you."

"Yes, but physically, we both know I'm the only one that can protect us both." I keep my arms crossed. "It's because you're older isn't it? Come on, I'm sixteen, I have been since we left. I can take care of myself. I can protect myself just fine too."

"Yeah, but I'm gonna be eighteen in a month. I'm supposed to be more responsible anyways. Plus, I promised Dean  _I_ would the one protecting  _you._ "

"Ok, Gabe." He says with some hint of sarcasm.

"Whatever." I say. I start to pull out of his grasp, but he holds me tighter.

"Gabe!" He says annoyed.

"No."

"Gaaaaaaabe!" He steps forward and I fall back. I quickly uncross my arms and grab his sleeves. I glare up at him while he smiles down at me.

"You're such a child."

"Says the guy who was pouting for five minutes straight."

"That's probably the first time I've done anything straight since I met you." He throws his head back in laughter. He keeps his hold on me, though. He looks down at me and leans forward.

"No way!" I move my head so he misses.

"Gabe." He tries kissing me. I move out of the way.

"No." He tries kissing me again. I move, again.

"Gabe!" He tries yet again, so I move again.

"No!" He tries one more time, I still move.

"Now who's being a child?" He says disapprovingly.

"Hey, technically we never should've had sex, because you are underage. Also, you're holding me in place, and you still can't kiss me. What does that say about you?" I scold.

"Technically it wasn't sex. Anyways, I'd go with more of what does that say about  _you?"_  He tries kissing me again, and I move my head away so he can't reach me. At this point he almost has me in a tango move, with both his arms supporting my back and me practically bent backwards over his one leg. He seems to notice this and grabs my right hand with his left. He moves slightly so now he has me in a full dip. I only glare up at him.

He smirks and leans down to kiss me. I turn my head and he kisses my cheek. He pulls me closer, but I keep my head turned. Just as he's about to stand me upright again, I move quickly out of his grasp by spinning down. His hold on my hand tightens so I can't completely get away. He pulls me up quickly and holds the back of my head.

He smirks and kisses me full on the lips. I melt into the kiss, and somewhat regret my decision to not kiss him. He pulls back and rests his forehead on mine. He smiles wide, but there's a shadow of a smirk.

"I'm guessing that wasn't the smartest move you've ever done."

"What, not kissing you or getting out of your grasp only for you to kiss me?"

"I was gonna say the second one, but if you think-"

"Shut up." I say and kiss him. I move to put our bags back. "So, what have you found out anything about timelives."

"Nothing other than what the guy told us."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and none of it was anymore descriptive than he was."

"He was pretty vague."

"Pretty vague? Dude, his only explanation of anything was him shooting me." I cringe at the thought. He could've killed Sam, if Sam was normal. After a minute, Sam asks from glances over from his laptop. "Hey Gabe?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever thought about what if the man had missed me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind."

"Sam." I say, trying to get the information out.

"I said never mind. Obviously you would know what I'm talking about if you thought about it. It's fine, it's no big deal." He sounds broken, trying to keep himself together, but he hides it well underneath a strong voice.

"Sam." I say with a little pity. Something's bothering him, I need to find out what.

"It's nothing Gabriel. If it was something I would tell you." He says seriously looking up from his computer. 

"Fine." I say dropping the subject. But the tone of my voice makes it clear to him I'm going to bring it up later. If he wants to drop it for now, fine that's his decision. My decision is to let the peace stay, and to not let it completely drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll find out later what Sam means, both things I mean. Have fun with that angst.


	22. I Told You So

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting down to the last few chapters! I kinda hope you didn't lose interest, but if you're reading this, guess you didn't! Sorry, I have posted more works on this site, but this is still technically my first work. I am totally cool with feedback, seriously that'd be great. Point out any mistakes or flaws, I don't have a beta, so I kinda need it. In fact, all my works so far are unbeta'd if you can believe it. So sorry for any mistakes, inconsistencies, and yeah. I don't know I feel like some of it could have been written better, and some of these feel like filler chapters. Not that I'm trying to get you to stop reading, just nervous you stopped liking it. Anyways, enjoy!

I rush back to the hotel and run towards our room. "Sam!" I burst the room. "Poughkeepsie." He instantly gets up and starts shoving our stuff into bags. Meanwhile I grab stuff from the bathroom. We're out the door in less than a minute. I do a quick once over then grab a bag from him. We both run down the hall. We're out the door and in our car in record time. Good thing to, because just as I'm pulling out of the parking lot, government cars are speeding towards us.

Their lights are flashing and I hit the gas as soon as I see them. Sam is thrown back into his seat. "I told you! I told you we should have left yesterday! I'm so stupid. I took that risk, and they're after us. I told you they'd be after us!" I yell at Sam.

"Yeah, ok I get it! Just drive and get us out of here! This isn't time for an argument or an 'I told you so' moment!" He shouts back. I press on the gas harder and soon we're barreling down the highway at top speed. Luckily within minutes we lose them.

*******

It's been four hours and we're still speeding down side roads. Somehow no cops have pulled us over, then again we are going a hundred miles over the speed limit. Literally. It's supposed to be like 25 but I'm going 130. Sam fell asleep from his adrenaline crash, but I'm still going.

*******

After two more hours I let up on the gas and pull into a third gas station. I get our tires changed, knowing that most of the rubber was probably left on that first highway. By the time all that is done, I want to just sleep in the car. Just get in and sleep the moment my head touches the head rest.

I don't though, knowing I had to protect Sam and get him to a safe place. After paying the man I go back to the car to see Sam awake.

"What's up Saminator?" I say passing by his side of the car and yawning. He gets out of the car almost immediately.

"I'll drive."

"If you want." I say nonchalantly. Except I know I can't drive how I am. I take one step and almost fall.

"Yeah, you need to sleep." Sam says after catching me in his arms. He lifts me up and drags me to the passenger's side. I try and squirm against him so I can get in, but I'm too weak to be successful. He puts me in, but I brush him off so I buckle myself up.

"Just drive, I'm not a child." He snorts.

"Yeah, ok. But you're exhausted, and you actually look slightly drunk. How did they not notice that?"

"Maybe that's why they lowered the price." I say and laugh slightly. He just laughs and shakes his by head.

"You're something else, Gabe."

"Like what? A unicorn?" I laugh.

"Nah, you aren't that exotic."

"So you want exotic?" He laughs. He moves around to the other side of the car and gets in. "You still haven't answered my question."

"No, I don't want exotic. I was just saying  _you_ aren't exotic. Well, I guess you are in a way."

"Mmm, how?" He rolls his eyes.

"Anaglyph."

"Timelive."

"Shut it."

"No."

"Go to sleep."

"Not until you're safe." I say yawning.

"Fine, we'll find a hotel here." He says, giving in.

"No."

"Why not?"

"We're only gonna leave in the morning anyways."

"So?"

"You do realize it's midnight?"

"Fine, I'll drive for the rest of the night."

"No."

"Gabe."

"No."

"Gabriel." He says with warning in his voice.

"No."

"Gabriel Novak!"

"I'll give you directions."

"To where?"

"A friend of mine."

"Gabriel if you're leading us home-"

"No, I'm not stupid. But this guy can protect us. He has like ten safe houses across the country. I've tried four places already. He has to be here."

"How do you know?"

"I sent a message at the third. I told him where I was going for the fourth. He left me a message at that place telling me where to go next."

"Fine." He turns on the car and pulls out of the parking space. He gets to the end of the driveway before asking, "Left or right?"

"Left. West." So he goes that way.

"Tell me about him."

"Old teacher I used to have. He was never mine, but he'd help me with homework when I was a freshman. He left halfway through my sophomore year. Nobody knew where he went, like he just up and left. Everybody thought he was crazy though. They all thought somebody finally checked him into an asylum. Maybe himself, or a relative. Either way, this included my family. He left me a note though, saying there were people after him. He isn't a timelive if that's what you're thinking. I would've known. Anyways he left me a note saying he had ten safe houses around the country. He gave me the address and phone numbers of each of them. So, that's the short version."

"How do you know he'll help us though? I mean he knows you, great, but other than getting a safe house, how is he gonna help us?"

"He's a hacker, a genius with computers. I'm sure he'll get information for us."

******

After sitting in silence for an hour and me pointing to where he should go, we finally get there. I sit up fast. "Here."

"How do you-"

"Because its the only house we've seen on this God forsaken road. Also, common sense, we took a street that looks abandoned, into the woods and all of a sudden see a house that  _doesn't_ look abandoned."

"Yeah, but-"

"Shut up and stop the car." I race out of the car before he even comes to a full stop. I run up to the two story wooden house. All the shudders and shades are closed, which isn't surprising because it's nearly one in the morning. I walk up the porch and bang on the white front door. "Frank!" He opens the door a couple minutes later, after I've probably bruised my knuckles.

"Jeez, Gabriel! Still as crazy as you always have been. Hurry up get you're stuff and come in. I bet I know what you're dealing with." I run back to the car and grab my bag from Sam. He grabs me and looks me in the eyes.

"Are you sure we can trust him?" He says his voice edged with caution.

"Yes, he says he even may know what we're dealing with." He kisses me. I smile a little, knowing he's accepting this.

"Alright. I trust you." We go inside the big white house. The moment Sam walks through the door with both hear a glass shattering scream.

"TIMELIVE!" A new voice comes through, a young boy. Sam and I both look up from covering our ears. Three young kids and a teenager plus Frank sit in the living room. Two of the kids have run to the other side of the room. They hold onto each other tightly. Everyone else sits there unfazed, like nothing happened.

I can see Sam tense up and I immediately grab his hand. I squeeze it once in reassurance and he holds mine back tightly. Frank looks over at the two kids.

"What did we say about this? Timelives are NOT dangerous. They make you think that." Frank scolds.

"Wait, so you know about timelives?" Sam suddenly perks up and steps forward.

"Everything there is to know. I know most as well. I know you are one, because Gabriel there I  _know_ isn't one." Frank smiles. "Also, because Alfie just screamed that you're a timelive and he's an anaglyph just like Gabe here."

******

Frank sends everyone else out and starts explaining everything to us. He was on his way to a city in Montana where it's shielded against the government, physically and technologically. He had set his phone so that if someone tried to reach him by any of the safe house phones, it would go to his phone directly.

He explained more elaborately about timelives. They cannot die, but they can be tortured, broken down to a shell. They don't have any special powers, but that's only the next step in evolution.

Timelives' bodies are like self-employed system. If the person goes hungry, it will feed itself by using a somewhat similar process to photosynthesis. If the person gets attacked and the fight results in any injuries, their body will heal at three times the rate of a normal person. If a wound is fatal, it will heal immediately. If anything harmful gets into their systems, it will be attacked, broken apart, and used like it was only food.

"Wait, so the bullet that was shot at Sam.." I start to say.

"Is now being used as nutrients. If any part cannot be used, it will just be thrown away."

"So like if someone tried to poison him-" I, again, start to ask.

"The ingredients that made the poison would be used. Timelives' bodies don't recognize anything as a whole, but individual parts. Like a silver bullet, it's made of entirely silver. But it's seen as individual molecules and atoms. If shot and hits an artery, or any blood vessel, the blood attacks and pulls apart the molecule. The body then heals the arteries and veins at an alarming rate."

"Wait I don't understand, why would it take apart the bullet if the wound can be healed?" Sam asks.

"Have you ever seen somebody eat a toy car? It goes through their digestive system, but if it's big enough it can tear apart the walls of the organs. A bullet would do that too."

"Ok so why does the government want me?" Sam asks, puzzled. Frank then explains how the government wants to use them as experiments. So that timelives DNA can be used to treat diseases. But that's the trick, the government doesn't want to heal society. They only want to experiment to see how far a timelives body can go before it is completely ruined. Meaning, when that protection will be taken down and that person can die. No experiments have worked, yet.

The other trick, is to say that they're dangerous. That because they will outlive everyone they know, they can do whatever they want. Meaning, steal, abuse, arson, and even murder, and they will get away with it. The reason it works is because most people are too stupid to realize that their jail time would be on the person's record. Also, they'd be to afraid of their own children and that  _they_ are psychopaths that the parents or family will willingly hand them over.

******

Frank has the little girl, Bela, show us to our room when we are done with our talk. Yeah, just room, Frank's very observant. The other kids were Alfie, the anaglyph, and Amelia, who were twins. Well, Alfie's real name was Samandriel, but apparently no one ever called him that. The teenager, who was a year younger than Sam, and older brother of Bela, his name was Brady.

When Sam and I get to our room, he closes the door. Frank told us we'd be here a few more days, so I start to unpack. I open up one of the bags, he grabs it and pulls it away from me. I grab the other one and he grabs that one too. "Sam!"

"I'll do this. You go to bed, and go to sleep."

"I can't." I yawn right after I said that.

"Uh huh. Bed, sleep, now." He points to the bed and I grumble.

I'm halfway done getting myself tucked in when I remember Sam didn't tell me something from earlier.  _What was it? All I remember was he said_ something,  _what was it? Oh yeah..._  I yawn again.

"Hey, Sam?" Or ask as he continues unpacking our stuff.

"Yeah, Gabe."

"What were you going to say about the man shooting you?"

"What?"

"Well you said something about if I ever thought if-"

"Go to sleep Gabe."

"Why don't you want me to know?" He walks over and kisses me on the forehead.

"I'll tell you in the morning, alright? Now go to sleep." He says smiling and going back to unpack.

"Sam, I'm not gonna sleep until you tell me."

He sighs, "I don't want to put that fear or stress on you."

"I don't want to have you keep that fear or stress on your chest."

He rolls his eyes. "Go to sleep, Gabe."

"No."

"Fine. Haven't you ever thought if he had moved the gun a few inches to have it pointed at you? I lived, but if he was only a few inches off...." He stops unpacking. I finally realize what he means. That thought alone should have given me nightmares, but what about Sam? How many times has he thought-  _dreamt?_ \- of someone he loves dying in front  of him?

"Sam, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry, I ju-"

"I know, you didn't mean it. You didn't mean anything. I just don't know how you cannot think about yourself in that. How do you not have nightmares about that? All this time, these months we've been together and not once have you mentioned that. I just..." He stops and begins unpacking again. I watch as Sam forces himself to do the simple task.

After he's done he plumbers over to the bed and falls on it unceremoniously. "Wow, graceful." I say with a smirk. It earns me a half smile and a small laugh.

"But really how do you not get terrified by that thought?"

"I did when you told me."

"I told you it was a bad thought."

"Yeah you told me. So, shut up. I told you Frank would help us, and he did. So, I told you so too. Anyways, after you asked me how I didn't think of it. It's because, I guess, I was too focused on you. I mean if you weren't a timelive, you would've died. Since I didn't know, I thought I was gonna lose you then and there." A single tear escapes as Sam pulls me to him.

"Great birthday present for the both of us, eh?" I laugh a little. I curl up to Sam and we sit in silence. He kisses my head and sighs. Everything seems so peaceful now that so much seems to have been taken off our chests. I fall asleep listening to his heart beat rhythmically in his chest. The peace is so calm, and my last thought is a prayer hoping it will last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if you were guessing Gabriel's hope will be dashed, well, I'm not gonna lie. You're right.


	23. Betrayed and Captured

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, now we're getting somewhere.

_Sam ~_  
_I pace outside again. I can't experience,_ again _, what the story will tell. I pull a paper out my pocket and read it over and over. I cry, wishing Kyle hadn't done something so stupid. Had he lived, he would've seen there was no way we could've been together anyways. Star-crossed lovers as Gabriel said._

_How could we have been so stupid, had I known what I know now, I would've changed it. Gabe never would have been captured, we wouldn't have been betrayed. I never would feel obligated to keep a promise to Kyle. A promise that tore me apart the first time I read it. A promise that kills me now, because I don't think I'll be able to keep it. Not anymore. I keep the promise for two reasons. I love Gabe, and Kyle was my best friend. I can't let either of them down._

_"I'm seventeen now, Gabe. It's almost August. Only a week until you're birthday. Almost a year you've been gone." I start to cry. "You weren't supposed to be gone this long, damn it." Tears fall from my eyes. "Gabe, I'm in love with you. Gabriel you hear me? I'm in love with you." I lean against the trailer. I fall to my knees clutching the note to my heart. "God damn it, I hate you G-Gabriel Novak. Why'd you go and do it? Wh-Why'd you make me fall in love? Why'd you fall for me? Why make the speech? Why es-escape with me? Why protect me? Why get c-c-captured? Screw y-you Gabriel Novak." I sob._

_"I just want you here next to m-me. I've been a-apart from you longer than we-we've been together. I-I'm in love. Okay? I'm not letting you go. I didn't then, I won't now. I'm not giving up. I trust you, Gabe. I trusted you, and I always will. Just come back to me. Because I'm not letting you go, you absolute.." The words come out broken. I can't even manage to get the last words out. I want him back._

_I walk in to hear the last of our story. Once it's over, I'm turning myself in. Dean had better be here tomorrow unless he wants to find his brother gone we when he gets here._

***** Gabe~

An alarm sounds in the room. Sam and I jump up and are out of bed instantly. We're both ready to leave. Today was supposed to be the day we left anyways. Sam grabs our bags and rushes out. I quickly run to Alfie and Amelia's room to grab theirs. Both of them are at the ready, I give them an assuring smile.I grab their bags and all three of us rush out.

The alarm would be for when anything a threat is too close to the house. It's still dark out, but getting lighter seeing as it's close to morning. Sam's at the front door and grabs the bags from me as I turn back to herd the two younger kids out. We knew the plan. Grab your bags, split up, grab the kids bags and they'll follow, get them out as soon as possible.

Just as I look out to see if everyone is there, Brady comes running past me. "You were already supposed to be there!" I yell at him as I race down the steps after him.

"I was helping Bella." He shouts throwing his stuff in the trunk.

"You get your bags first that was the rule." I reply angrily as I jump in the car and shut the door.

"Well we're all here now aren't we?" He retorts as he slides the door closed, being the last one in. Frank hits the gas.

"Shut it you two, we don't have time for bickering." Frank says as he races to the city bridge. We are hours from the protected timelive city. But we know that at least we have time to lose them. Get them off our tail before we get to the city.

A mile before we get to the bridge, a black car races across our vision _s_ and Frank hits the brake. We squeal to a stop. Frank is about to hit the gas when Brady speaks up.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He says. I hear a gun being cocked before I turn and look. He has a pistol pointed right at me. Sam gasps and all three kids in the back scream. I press myself to the car door as much as possible.

"Traitor! I knew someone had messed with my console! I wasn't going to tell you guys, so I didn't scare you. Figured we could make up time if I sped faster. The alarm went off five minutes late." Frank yells, confessing. He isn't one to keep information about a situation to himself. I'm also guessing he just wants to be free of whatever guilt he's about to be placed on.

"Here's how it's going to go. Sam gets out, and we'll let you all go peacefully. It's against the law to hold a timelive, and we are focused primarily on the timelive you have here. So in exchange for your cooperation, we'll let you go free. How's that sound?"

I open the door behind me and step out. I glare at Brady and he gives a somewhat shocked look. I hold up my hands.

"No." Is the only thing I say. After a minute of everyone waiting, I continue. "You can technically take all of them with me at gunpoint. Why give them a chance?"

"Boy, you sure are stupider than I thought."

"Really? Because my guess is  _they_  don't know who the timelive is in the car right?" I nod my head to the car facing us. Brady stays silent. "So they think it's me. Also, now that there is a new threat, I'm sure they don't have  _too_ many weapons on the car now, huh?" I say sarcastically. "Take me. Take me, you want leverage right? You let them get to the city, tell them you'll kill me, torture me. I'm not a timelive, they'll find a way to save me. Most likely giving you as many timelives as they can. You know, since they can't be killed but I can?" Brady still holds the gun at me.

He seems to take the deal, and steps out of the car. Sam looks at me desperate. He tries to open his door but I slam it closed. I give him a slight glare before turning my attention back to Brady. He seems insanely stupid for taking such a deal. The stakes are all our lives, and he's willing to bet just on mine.

Both doors are closed and I nod to Frank. He speeds backwards and spins around in seconds. Within minutes the van is out of sight. I look towards Brady who has his gun trained on me.

"We knew you'd make that deal. Planted a bug in Frank's laptop that will lead us straight to that city. And before you ask if I knew where it was, did Frank tell  _you?"_ I pause. They didn't need leverage, Brady just couldn't be there. He's a threat and if he has been there when everything went down, there's no doubt they would kill him.

He points his gun and nods his head towards the opposite car.  _No wonder it wasn't such a big deal. But I don't understand..._ "So why do they want to keep you?"

"They all may know how to hack into places, but Frank's is the hardest computer to hack into ever. We've tried before. You have to really be a genius to even locate the damn thing. I'm the only one that can do it now since I got all the passwords, figured I may as well grab a timelive. Your plan though, pffft waaay better. Guess I wasn't thinking clearly." He explains pushing the gun to the side of my head.

****

After hours of driving, we finally get to someplace. I dozed off in the car, being tired waking up at some ungodly hour in the morning. I remembered Easter break with Sam when I had told him that. That truly, I slept in. Christmas and some other days just happened to be exceptions.

I keep thinking of Sam, trying to keep my head clear as they transport me from the car to what I see, is a prison. Brady disappears and the driver, Crowley, leads me inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, the somewhere was a prison, and the timelive city. Mwahaha. Poor Sam, the love of his life ripped away from him, although we all knew this was coming, I mean from the very beginning we knew. Now it just happened. Ugh, these chapters are gonna r- whoa almost too much information. So I hope you liked it, sorry for any mistakes and inconsistencies as per usual. Six chapter left! Not much can happen in six chapters....right?


	24. This Is A Prison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Winding down, now your questions can finally start to be answered. How did Gabriel end up in a prison? Why are timelives bad? Are they even bad? What is the stupidity behind that reason? Will Gabriel get out? Will Sam save Gabriel?? 
> 
> Well, this chapter answers all of them.

Crowley leads me to a separate room, an office of some sort. He forces me to sit down in the only chair in front of the desk. He stands in the corner of the room looking smug, but bored. After who knows how long a tall man with blonde hair walks in.

"So, you're a timelive's boyfriend? My guess is his little bitch more like it." The man says harshly taking a seat in his chair across from me. "Lucifer Middleton. But you  _will_ call me sir. Your time here will be spent convincing the timelive city that you should be freed."

"What if I don't?"

"You will be killed."

"So if they are heartless enough to make someone their bitch, why would they want to save someone from being killed?"

"Pleasure."

"Sure, what makes them so terrible?"

"In truth, they will all back stab you. They live forever, but you don't. They'll toss you out like a dirty rag, waiting for their next victim. They wouldn't use other timelives, because they're stuck with them the rest of their lives. Next time, think it through that puny little brain if yours."

"Oh I am. I've thought about it, its because one of them back stabbed you isn't it?"

"The operation was already going when I started it."

"But you didn't deny it. So who was it? Family?" He scoffs. "Friend?" He rolls his eyes. "Lover?" He glares.  _Bingo._

"If you ever want to see your  _lover_ again, you  _will_ do as we say." He spits the words out with venom.

"What was her name?" He glares harder. I smirk. "Oh.  _His?"_ I say slyly.

"Michael is none of your business. Seeing as you won't cooperate we have ways to torture you." He waves his hand dismissively and I'm immediately gagged and taken away. They handcuff me.

They lead me down white hallways with hundreds of jail cells lining the walls. I feel as though I am brought through every one of the prison's halls. Each hallway I hear more shouts, threats, and catcalls at me. I can hear distant screams of someone being tortured.

 

"Oooh, he's got an orange band"

"What?! An orange band that means"

"Hey, yo, come meet me on my cell tonight sweet cheeks, and I ain't talking about your face either"

"No one wants to be in your cell, Harold"

"Shut up, no one wants to be in your cell either Larry"

"Both of you shut it, you people seem to forget we aren't even allowed in each other's cells. This isn't like any other kind of prison where you can. You couldn't even fight him if you wanted to."

 

Another corridor.

 

"Hey sweet face, break some more rules over here"

"He's wearing an orange band Martha, he's going to the Tanker"

"Oh shit! That guy's not a timelive!"

"Woah let me see!"

"No way that hunk is not a timelive, I'd sure hate to see him die"

 

Another hallway.

 

"Heeeeey, guys check it out its the new guy! Haha, you won't last ten minutes in here."

"Yo guys, fresh meat"

"No effing way! Yo dog, we shouldn't touch that, he's got an orange band. There's no way he's getting out" 

"Jeez Marco, why you gotta ruin our fun like that! Now I feel bad for that poor little guy"

"Jerome he's taller than you"

 

Down two more hallways.

 

"No I don't care if he's got the orange band, there's a chance we may see him again. And if he looks at me like that... wooooh girl, the fight is on!"

"Chillax Quanisha, seriously he's a guy he can't hit you."

"Not in jail he can't, but he probably will anyways, isn't that right jasmine!"

"Shut up fucktard I'll hit you with the broom again"

"Oooh, more cat fights with the ghetto girls"

"Shut yo ass up Leonid, no one gives a fuck about you. You're just jealous cause that guy has gotten more attention today than you have in the three years you've been here. We ain't ghetto either." 

"Ain't that the truth, we richer than you. It's called hipster, look it up"

 

Two left turns then a right.

 

"Hey, hey, Scarlett. Look"

"Looks like he just went down the 'hipster' hallways"

"Yeah, no fooling."

"Hey kid, head up, it'll get better"

"Do you see the orange band! No way, he's gonna get worse. You know whenever someone has that, they get a tour of the entire building with all the current residents. He's going to the Dark Room" 

"Oh, he isn't gonna last"

"Sure hope you have someone coming for you kid, because you're gonna die"

"I give him a week"

"Being secluded and hearing people scream? On that frame? Please I give him two days"

 

The hallways seems to go in forever.

 

"Oh look, yet another non-timelive, good luck in the Tanker. Only the most unruly timelives go there. and all non-timelives." 

"They don't ever put non-timelives in there, dumbass. He must be pretty important to their schemes, which side, I don't know, someone ask him."

"Wonder if they're gonna use him as leverage."

 

"Hell yeah they will! Didn't you hear what they're setting up in there?"

 

Finally we walked down the last corner. By the end of it all, I was exhausted. Everything I heard only confirmed my first thoughts, this place will be a prison, possibly worse than one. Well, with the torture, probably.

The final hallway we go down is pure white, which almost hurts my eyes. Auras would stand out so much brighter. I can't tell what is worse, seeing the intensity of the auras of the guards, or looking at the walls, devoid of all the colors.

 All of it is made of metal, and it echoes, if a pin dropped, you'd be able to hear it whether or not it was silent. We finally get to a tall white door. They unlock it and open it up wide. A small cot sits in the corner of the room and on the opposite wall a metal toilet. The entire room was white, the only things not white were the bed frame, toilet, and the radio.

The small radio sat on the far wall away from the metal door. It's the farthest from every other cell there, I can tell. It may have been the long hallway, or it could be the fact that the shouts heard were faraway, but because of the echoes it sounded too close. Yeah, I can already hear some shouts of people being tortured. The prisoners were right, I wouldn't last a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't mean anything by the whole hipster and ghetto thing, I really don't. Please don't take that seriously, I just kind of fooled around with a bunch of that this chapter. I do not mean any offense to those people.
> 
> Also, did I say this chapter answers all the questions? Whoops, I meant it will answer most of the questions. Guess you have to find out the last two later.


	25. Trust Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, what have I written.

Turns out I lasted a week. It's been the most brutal week I've ever experienced. The door had a square window with crisscrossed bars. So whatever echoed I the hall, came into the room. The room also echoed everything, a single shout could reverberate for over twenty minutes. It seemed like it would never end.

Lucifer had come in occasionally, and when he did, he shut the tiny door to the window, that was on the outside of the door. Those twenty minutes a day became what I looked forward to.

Lucifer went into detail about why exactly I was here and not any of the other cells. I was they're only non-timelive hostage, but not the only non-timelive prisoner. Then he talked about the timelive base had over thousands of residents, and could easy over power the government agencies. There's only one way in, and there's no getting out.

They hacked the place, but it's still not enough. They only got through to a portion if the city, the smallest portion too. Brady had gotten information off of Frank, and that whole plan still confused me a bit. It may have been that I was still recovering from the torturous screams of others that kept me from fully comprehending anything the tall blonde said.

He kept giving me details of the plan, but I could never make them out. The stuff I did hear, was that the radio was so I could contact them. Bring the timelives out in the open. I wasn't to say a single good thing about them either.

Not even Sam, whom at this point hadn't left my mind since I left him. Getting past the shouts and yells and absolute gut-wrenching noises of the blades and other tool, I thought about how Sam was doing. Is he sick in bed because he refuses to eat? Is he making himself sick because I'm gone? Is he helping people make an operation to break me out? What if he just forgot about me? Chose to leave me behind, that's why he didn't fight back so much that day, then again I wouldn't let him fight.

Lucifer had explained that they would be monitoring the radio. I could say whatever I wanted, but if I wanted to get out alive, I best follow his rules.

Soon days became weeks, the only thing keeping me from tearing my hair out and ears off was thinking of Sam. I had to get through this, if I didn't do what they said, I would be killed. First tortured more, and if I couldn't I would be killed.

I don't know how they could torture me more. Maybe physically. I hear mostly the shouts and screams, but I can hear nails driven into wrists, nails ripped from skin. I can hear every detail of the torture the prisoners are put through. The echoes, make it worse. The same sound can be heard over and over and over again lasting from twenty minutes to well over two hours. It's slowly driving me insane. I know it.

I heard noise from the radio, but I couldn't make it out. Short while after, it went silent. Lucifer came in the next day. He asked about the radio, if their test drive had worked. When he explained I told him it did.

He smiled evilly at me, a twisted smirk that completely contorted his face into something absolutely hideous. I couldn't look at him.

They continued to use the radio, speaking things into it, but I had no idea what it was saying. Lucifer came in again after a week. He explained the radio was playing the 'tragic star-crossed love' story. That's how he put it. The breaks in between, were when I was supposed to talk about it all. Explain everything, how I was foolish, and oblivious to everything around me.

I just didn't. I couldn't. I hadn't moved from my spot in the middle of the floor since I had gotten there. Lucifer left and a minute after the tortured screams could be heard again. I covered my ears and clenched my teeth, longing for it to be all over.

I cried because I couldn't help them.  
I cried because I couldn't help myself.  
I cried because I helped Sam, but I would never see him again.  
I cried because I broke my promise I would never leave him.  
I cried because I could never return home.

I hadn't had a home in months. Sammy could be my home, because truly it was wherever he was that made me happy. Except, we were stuck in moldy, musty motels. We were constantly running, stressed about whether we would be caught. Neither of us slept well the first week, because we were constantly on guard. What if they caught us during the night when we were both asleep? What if they were stalking us, waiting for the right moment to attack.

I sat on the floor and cried. I thought over all these things and tried hard not to miss home.

*****

A week later Lucifer walked in again. "So, Gabriel. You haven't used the radio once. Do I need to tell you the consequences again?" He threatened menacingly.

"No." I managed to squeak. I hadn't used my voice in so long, the first day I screamed my voice out and I hadn't used it since.

"Well, if I have to come in tomorrow to tell you to use it. Well,  _trust_ _me_  when I say, your end will be soon."

He left and I burst out in tears. I stood up and stumbled to the door. I hadn't moved since the first day either, my muscles hadn't been used and it was hard to walk. I slammed my fist into the bars on the door and they made a thick ringing sound.

"SCREW YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!" Lucifer just laughed a wretched laugh. I could hear it ringing in my ears as I stumbled over to the radio. My head hurt so bad. After I crashed onto the chair, I laid my head on the desk. My arms drooped below and I waited to hear anything from the radio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to explain my first reaction, is that I finished this a while ago, and now I'm just editing it so there's no spelling errors. Holy shit, this hurt. But I can't help but remember the worst has yet to come.


	26. Radio Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I'm sorry it took so long, I've just been busy the last few days, but at least this one is REALLY long. Like the longest of the chapters, over 7,000 words! Shut it, it's a record for me. Chapter wise. I've been reviewing it, and holy shit this is insanely sad and depressing.  
> I really hate to say this, but it isn't the worst either.  
> So, um, the italics, well in exception of like five italic words, are what has already happened in the story. I'm serious if you went back in the story and searched for italics, you would find they line up with this. The reason why I say this now, is because this chapter, ties all of those together.  
> Also please be mindful that there could be triggers. Sorry in advance for that...and broken hearts.

This damn thing. It won't work, I'm hearing nothing from anyone out there. These people decided to play my and Sam's story.

They had first explaining how timelives were bad. Then they introduced a story, told from the viewpoint of me. I couldn't believe it, these people had cameras everywhere. They even knew what day I met Sam.

Everything seemed normal, except for the interjections of a some snide comment about them. Then they would introduce me and say that these were times I had to talk. To explain the tale further, my opinion that went along with the viewpoint.

****

I started by trying to sound normal. As normal as possible anyways. " _Like I said before everything has been normal that day. I never felt like anything would change in my life. I still look back and I still see that my life then, it never felt like it would've changed. I had good grades. Sure they weren't great, I wasn't a nerd after all. I had a couple colleges in mind, just so if I didn't get into my dream college I had something else fall back on. I had a loving family who cared about me. My life.... it shouldn't have changed. Nothing should have changed, but that's in the past. All of it is, and now I'm stuck here in this_ \- absolute fucking prison!" I ended.

Everything I said was what I knew I needed to say to protect myself so that those guys would get what they wanted. I hadn't registered that they had cut off my ending until after I said it. My voice had risen at the end in anger, anger towards my captors.

Lucifer came storming in later. He burst right through the door and slapped me across the face. "Don't you ever do something like that! You almost blew it! Do you want to live! Don't you want to see your poor innocent  _Sammy_  again!? Don't think this won't go unnoticed. You are being fed like a normal person would, I'll reduce the portions. Make you starve, make it worse. Don't cross me again!" He continued to beat me, and I was too tired to fight back, I couldn't even block any of the blows.

I began to softly cry as he stormed back out. I knew I had to keep going with it, but I can't, I don't know how I can.

*****

I had been doing these "radio silences", as I liked to call them, for over a week. I called them that, because that was when the radio went silent, and that was when I had to talk.

I had slipped up almost three more times, and Lucifer came in after every single time. He has punched me in the face, threw me at the wall, and kicked me in the sides.

******

The radio goes silent. It's my turn to talk again. I had barely been listening, but I didn't care. I no longer wanted to tell my story. " _Look, I think it's gotten worse. I never thought my life would change this way. I didn't want it to. I didn't expect it to......_ " I couldn't speak, my voice was coming out rough. " _This wasn't supposed to happen. None of this was. I wasn't supposed to love like this. I wasn't supposed to live like this. I was supposed to live a life...._ " I pause again. " _only wondering what.........._  timelives meant.... We never planned this. It  _wasn't_...until Brady betrayed us that I knew it got bad. I  _didn't_.....think this could happen because he didn't have an aura. I  _never...._ thought colors mattered. I  _was_......too ignorant to even realize it. I still don't remember what my colors mean either,  _red_  and  _green_. I guess it just means 'doomed for the rest of my life'."

The radio kept shorting out. I sat with wide eyes. Bracing myself for Lucifer's entrance. Instead it was Crowley. He slapped me once, but it was more of distaste for me than me doing anything wrong. He explained even though I almost slipped up, the connection was somewhat lost, and thankfully stopped anything too serious from happening.

*****

It took another week before I decided to speak again." _Look. It's not that bad. Really. I'm fine. I'm my normal self. The trickster, Loki. I'm normal. I'm sane because I would.._ " I pause to take a shaky breath. " _never_.......truly have fallen  _in love._....if I knew the consequences _. I wouldn't_...... have ever fallen in love with Sam if I knew I was going to be tortured. But that isn't his fault! It's these people's! I could've had a  _normal_... non-timelive  _life_...... It was never  _supposed_.....to be like this! It was  _n_ _ot like this_... before I came here. I had a good life, until he came walking to my door. It's because of them I fear for my life and his."

The radio wasn't working again. Still, Lucifer came in and smashed my head on the desk. I don't know how much longer I could take this.

****

These past weeks had been stressful. I couldn't do it. I can't do it anymore. One more slip up, and Lucifer would have my hide. " _I can't go on. Not anymore. Maybe I can finally tell you this time. Sam..... Sam....."_

Before I could even say anything I wanted to I could hear the radio short out. Nothing came from the speakers, but the microphone was out of order, definitely.

It was only until a couple minutes later that the radio had silenced again. I tried to reach out again, because it wasn't too long since the last one.

" _No! I couldn't tell you last time! Please I swear I will tell you. Don't leave. I swear, if you leave I can't tell you. Trust me don't leave this time. You need to hear this. Sam... Sam is a_ TIMELIVE!"

The radio shorted out. Nothing was left the microphone had been fried, I could actually see tiny smoke fumes rise from it. I had to repeat myself a couple times through it.

I knew people were listening, they told me that. That's why they tell me to be careful of my words, because it's basically live radio. I just hope they got that message.

*****

They had tried coming in to fix the radio. It never worked. They said if I could fix it, then I would have to tell them. So I tried, and it worked! So the first few times I did it I said a lot of dangerous things, knowing that they would come running. But they didn't, it didn't seem like anyone heard me ever. So two days after I fixed it, I spoke again at the radio silence.

" _Fine! I won't tell you, not since you keep leaving. Although I know that is partially my fault. This machine doesn't work right. I need time though. I know where you are,_ "

Sam's name was on the tip of my tongue. I knew I couldn't risk something that big though. So instead I said, " _I'm not telling this story. I mean I am, but it isn't me. This is the longest I've gone infiltrating them. Trust me, turn back, it's for your sake. this story, it doesn't end happy, it will end in heart break. I ask, beg, plead you don't read_ or listen _further. Trust me_....it isn't safe! it's  _not safe_.....! there is too much  _danger_.....! It's like if you tried meeting a demon at  _crossroads_...."

I laughed slightly to myself. Sam would understand what I meant. If only the full message would go through. "I'm tired of living in this  _darkness_ _,_  all the  _time_  can I just live a life like other's live their  _lives_?"

I was basically, infiltrating them, pretty much was the truth. When I was fixing it I could hear them, all their discussions on their plans. But I never told them I fixed the radio. Every time they came in, I told them it never worked, I was just hoping it would. Then they left me to hear the screams of the tortured.

All my time spent in the radio made me forget the torture I was supposed to be in. It blocked out all of it, because my focus was on the radio.

The radio was how I could reach Sam. I don't know, but I just have this sense he is listening. It became my new interest that kept the screaming at bay, but as I relaxed, the screams became louder again.

****

As the screams became louder, I got more irritated. I could no longer feel in my heart anything for the timelives here. They got themselves caught. They belong here! I don't! I don't belong here! The radio silenced. And all my pent up frustration came out.

 _"So everything then turned out great didn't it? Life was great and everything was alright. This was my life! This was supposed to be my life!! My life was ruined! It only took a year. A year before my life came crashing down and now I'm here. Stuck in this jail, waiting to get out. This isn't the last you've heard from me. No. This isn't the last, if anything- this is just the beginning_........" It truly was just the beginning. I let my head rest on the table. There was no way I could make it through those screams.

*****

I was dead tired if all this crap. All of this prison, and timelives, and torture. Why is there a war anyways? What's the point? Nothing!

It was another week before I lashed out, truly giving what I felt. I had spoken before in all of it, but I couldn't keep up the act for long.

" _So what do you think? I'm in jail. Am I evil? Everyone thinks that, because he's dangerous._ _He's_ _not 'dangerous'._ _He's_ _different so what?_ _He's_ _just a_......timelive!" the radio made a static noise. I looked at it in fear. " _No_.....do  _not_.....leave! It's  _fading out_........again! No no no  _no_  no!"

I heard them take dogs into the torture chamber. It was so loud they sounded like hell hounds. there were screams of agony and pleading I knew what this meant, there was another non-timelive. I didn't care about the radio anymore and I ran to the metal door.

 _(*growls and screams from far away*) "No you can't take them! stop it!"_ I pound my fist on the door.  _(*clang and rattle of metal*) "No! NO!"_   My screams were useless. They wouldn't stop for me. I was a prisoner. I closed and shut my eyes as tears came streaming down my face. That person was dead. I breathed hard as I fell to the floor.

 _(*mix of panting and deep breathing*) "_ _It_ _isn't their fault._ _It_ _isn't their fault._ _It_ _isn't our fault._ _It_ _isn't their fault._ _It_ _isn't my fault. it isn't their fault._ _It_ _isn't his fault._ _It_ _isn't their fault........"_  I continued the chant. Reminding myself, this really isn't their fault, because that's what I needed the most now.

I needed to remind myself it was the governments fault. It was their fault for starting this unknown war. It was their fault we were all in this mess. It wasn't my fault I landed here. But it was Sam's fault he was born a timelive.

****

I turn back to the radio after a few minutes. I didn't hear a word of it, my head too wrapped up in echoes of the death. I hear the radio start to insult Sam and the race of timelives.

No, wait, it was  _my_  doubt. The  _one_  time I doubted who Sam truly was, my huge mistake of ever wanting to not love him. 

I couldn't help but cry out, _"No!"_ I hit my hands on the metal door before running over.  _(*metal clanging*) "Why would you show them that! No!"_

I slam my fists against the metal table, and throw a piece of stale bread that I never ate at the door.  _(*more clanging*)_  I didn't want whoever was out there to see that, to see my huge mistake. They would think timelives were truly horrible. Timelives aren't dangerous, these people think that but they aren't!

 _"They weren't supposed to see that! No, you don't understand!_ _It_ _wasn't me! I had a crush! Look at me blaming it on him! No! So many people wanted to be his friend, they were intimidated by me. That's right_  me.  _It_ _was my fault, I held him back. If he had just kept them....."_  I choke back a sob.

_"_ _He_ _never would've fallen for me. It's my fault we're here. Mine._ _He_ _wanted to be with me._ _He_ _did, he kept trying to call to me, but they always interrupted him. Trust me it wasn't his fault._ _It_ _was mine. You weren't supposed to see that. No."_

My voice ends in a whisper. I tear up, but I keep them back. I could finally admit that this was my fault I was in here. It was, it was never Sam's fault. If the radio is on, I don't want them to hear how broken they've made me. I stomp towards the door and yell down the hallway.  _(*far away echoed voice*)"_ _I'LL_ _KILL_ _YOU_ _!_ _I'LL_ _GET_ _OUT_ _AND_ _FIND_ _YOU_ _AND_ _KILL_ _YOU_ _!_ _HE_ _DOESN'T_ _BELONG_ _HERE_ _!" I can't do this anymore. If I'm gonna rebel I have to rebel._ _Sam_ _doesn't belong here. I don't belong here. No one belongs here. "None of us do......"_

 _*_ ****

The radio won't let me talk as much anymore. I think this is because they're either trying to cut me off somehow, or they don't know I'm here, or even that, what attempts I've made have been completely useless.

The screams are horrible. They've gotten worse. They are bringing in more non-timelives. I don't know how they can do that. I think that they broke the timelive code. But I heard guards talking. I've been alone these past few days. I've heard nothing. Something is going on out there. all of a sudden I hear shouting. _(*static* *echoed shouting*)_

So I scream back,  _"Hello?! Anyone there? Come on! I_ know  _I'm not alone!!"_  I hear more shouts and footsteps towards my direction.

 _(*distant yelling*)_ "Gabriel Novak! You cannot be loud! We will get you your food! Unless you want to give up!"

I can hear them laughing, and my anger boils up. I can't stand the guards, I haven't been fed in three days. The tortured sounds come in more frequently, my pent up rage has to come out eventually.

 _"I_ _WILL_ _BE_ _AS_ _LOUD_ _AS_ _I_ _WANT!"_ I hit my hands against the metal door as I press up against to make sure my voice is heard by the guards.  _(*clang of metal*)_

The heard me, but their laughter continues. That's when I realize that the radio has been silent.  _(*static*)_  I feel like I should be overjoyed, but my breath of relief comes out as a sigh as I sit back down at the table.  _(*small, near, sigh*)_

Finally I get a break, a chance to distance myself from these people. " _Back again? It's been so long...._ since I last heard from you. or this thing.  _It's been a few months since I could get a message through. I've waited so long. I haven't heard any news of him. They haven't killed him, I know. I_ _know_ _. You can't. It's impossible. They've tried."_

I begin to tear up as I remember the day that man shot Sam. The radio makes a noise, but I'm not sure if it is going back to the story it's telling or if it is just broken again.

 _"Can you hear me? I can't tell if this is working as well as before. This...this radio. it broke. I tried-_ " I can't take the pain of emptiness I felt during all those months. The radio was my only solace, that at least there was a chance someone was out there listening. Not to mention, while fixing it, it could at least take my mind off some of the screams of agony and pain. Nowadays I can barely tell the difference between the my own screams in my head, and the others that have wormed their way into my mind.

Everything from the past two years fill my head. I begin to cry. My hard work just to fix the radio, could be all wasted. A sob wrecks through my body as I try to calm myself, reminded that the radio is still, silent, waiting for me to speak.

(* _sob*) "to fix it. You have been gone months. I don't know who you are, but I need you here. The only reason I have this is because of him."_

I knew if I was going to rebel I had to,do it. I would risk everything just to say it. Just to remind myself, that he may still be put there. He could still be alive. Still protected by those city walls. My last chance, I realize, because I may just give up tomorrow.

 _"_ _Sam_ _?_ _Sam_ _are you out there? This line is supervised, so they can cut it off any time."_  I begin to cry, realizing they could be doing that now. _(*soft crying*) "They've been doing that. Now that it broke, I don't know. Whether they know or not. Whether it broke, or that possibly their connection dropped and they can no longer hear me. I don't know."_

I break down. This could all be for nothing. None of this could go through. This could all be for nothing, Sam could be gone, or never hear this. This would be for nothing.

 _(*louder crying*)_  It dawns on me that they want me to say these things. These people here, keeping me captive, they want me to sound broken. I'm an example. Whatever purpose they had for me is gone. " _Why isn't this taken away then? Maybe they are connected, but hear nothing, and they think I'm just silent. That I'm going crazy......"_  I step away, still crying. (*crying in background*)

Of course they think I'm going crazy. I have no food, this place is echoed with the screams of the tortured and dying. I step back towards the table and sit down.

 _"_ _Truth_ _is I am Sam. I'm going insane. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all that happened."_  I really am going insane. I've always thought of Sam here, to keep him safe. But I'm starting to think more and more about the screams, and less and less of home. I'm still crying, and another sob wracks through me before I can stop it. I'm going insane, I can't think of anything but survival.

At this point, I'm not even thinking if survival either. I'm thinking of all the ways these people have tortured non-timelives and timelives alike.

 _(*loud sob*) "I didn't want any of this to happen._ _Sam_ _, don't come and save me._ _Don't_ _! It's a trap."_ The words come tumbling out of my mouth. My voice breaks here and there, and my breathing becomes ragged.

_(*shaky voice*) "That's the truth in why I have this. They're going to try to capture you if you ever try to come and get me._ _Don't_ _come!_ _Sam_ _don't come I'm begging!_ _Sam_ _. Please. If you can hear me I just want to say-" (*static*)_

I stop the exact moment I hear it click off. "I love you."

****

I review everything I said. It's all true, or was true. I don't know if that's the plan anymore. I think it is though, but not necessarily the same as the one and only target.

But if someone was listening, they would at least see how cruel these people were. How they used loved ones to get to the timelives. So that the could protect their families.

I start to hear screams. Woman's screams that pierce through the quiet air. I hear her plead and beg, calling out her lover's name. I heard growls alongside her screams. All of a sudden my guard bursts in, grabs me by my arm roughly and dragged me out of the cell.

He forcefully walks me down to the hallway to the screaming and growling. I know because it gets louder. He slams open the doors and passes me off to Lucifer. The blonde man then grabs me and drags me closer and I see the through the glass of a door exactly what is happening.

I try to turn my face but Lucifer grips the back of my head and twists it so I'm forced to watch the spectacle. I watched as the woman was torn to shreds by a man. They turned him into a cannibal.

"Look at the poor, poor woman. She thought she was getting her husband back. I guess not." Lucifer says in a sickly sweet voice. He presses me closer to the glass and I cry out in pain when my side hits the door handle.

"Just so you know, this is what will happen if you defy us. We know what's going on up there, but thanks to my boss, we aren't allowed to touch you... yet." He spits out.

"Oh the poor bastard over there, which he actually was. He was accused of being a timelive, turns out he's not, can't you see his aura?"

I could, it was a dark silver and red. Shot. The woman's colors were faded, but I knew they were a mix of blue, purple and orange, along with some red to signify when she'd die. I hadn't thought much about auras in a long time. It wasn't something I paid attention to, unless it was black. It hurt now that I was seeing them again, especially Lucifer's being so close. It nearly burned my eyes, the outline of the deep blue and red that cascaded across every inch of his skin.

I realized that's the reason why the room was completely white, for Anaglyphs. Except I stopped caring around the time we ran off. Now, I was itching to see more of Lucifer's. He was going to drown, a slow and painful death, and in the next few months.

"Anyways, we tortured him, knowing that they are still somewhat human. At least in their minds they think they are. It's why throughout all the torture we can make him think it was his wife's fault. Starve him, and he'll eat." He sing-songed.

"I don't care. Why should I? You're going to die soon anyways." I tried to play it off like it didn't hurt to see this. Of course it would hurt him to know he was going to die soon, they probably don't have very many anaglyphs working for them. And who's gonna tell their boss that they are gonna die within six months?

I was right. He threw me into the opposite wall and I heard a loud crack. He grabbed my by the throat and dragged me, choking, to the door that lead to the man who has now finished his meal.

"Let's see what happens when we open the door, shall we?" He smiles a horribly wide smile with a look of glee in his eyes, like my torture was the highlight of his day.

He opened the door and held me out, but shielding himself from the man with the door. My hands grasp at Lucifer's hands as the man turns and charges at me.

I try to scream and claw my way out of Lucifer's grasp. Just before the man reaches me, Lucifer pulls me back in and I black out.

********

I wake up and see blinding white light. I have to blink a few times before I realize I'm back in my cell.

It's a few more days before I can fully recover from what Lucifer had done. Luckily the radio hadn't gone silent, because I don't think I could speak. If I could, I don't know if I could even hold back the gory details.

Finally a day later, I hear the radio go silent and I rush over. I don't get the chance. The room starts vibrating with a loud low scream. I can tell it's a boy. And I race over to the door. "No! No!! He can't be here! He can't be here!" I can hear the guards laughing, but the make no mention if that was my Sam or not.

 _My Sam_. I haven't seen him in so long. I want to curl up into his side, and feel protected again. I want to feel safe. Here, I know I'm not. Not after those events. I may actually never get out of here. This could all end in me dead. Why am I here? They don't need me anymore! It's been six months since I've seen Sam. He's probably moved on. I'm just a prisoner, no longer a hostage. There's no point to my life now.

****

Over the next few days, I hear the love story between Sam and me. I realized that really, Sam could still want me. He is still alive, I know. I guess that's a comfort because he's a timelive. But I don't know if he's in on of the government facilities or not. I can only hope that Sam is safe. The radio goes silent, I wait a minute expecting it to go back to the story but it stays silent. I guess its now or never.

Before I started talking, I realized what part of the story that had been played. That I realized this was when I hadn't known how dangerous it was to be around a timelive.

My head pounds as another headache rips its way through my brain cells.  
That they were the root of the problems. They were the cause if this war. And because of them I'm stuck in this cell. They were the cause of all of this.  _Timelives_.  
It quickly ends and I am appalled by what just went through my thoughts. They're  _brainwashing_  me.

Before I know it, words are falling off my tongue before I even have a chance to realize what I'm even saying.

 _"Do you see now how it was dangerous? For me to love him? Or have you forgotten as well? That he is one of the most dangerous beings in all creation? Or did you not catch that? Have you not figured it out? It's all centered around one thing. For me, it's him. But for the world, this world. It's only a certain thing about him. That one thing that makes him something that isn't human. I'm glad you're back again. But there isn't much to say right now. You can only experience and find out for yourself, just what about that thing that makes him so dangerous."_ I stop to clear my head. As it gets clearer, I can sense the radio start to give out.

" _Except the thing is, he's not. He isn't dangerous. Just because he can't..._  die  _(*static*) doesn't mean that he's dangerous. Just because they think he_.... can live years, and commit whatever crime he wants  _(*static*) doesn't mean that_...... he will!  _(*static*) He isn't dangerous! None of them are. No_......timelive  _(*static*) is or will be....._ dangerous. It isn't even because  _(*static*) you can't kill them! You can't....(*static* *click*)_  kill them, but they are humans too!"  _(*static*)_ And of course, as always, it cuts off the most important part.

*****

I'm sitting on the bed for the first time ever, I only ever slept on the floor. I curl up tightly, trying to block out the screams.

"I'll kill you! I'll haunt your graves!" A loud, male hoarse voice comes ripping through the atmosphere. 

Then a female's voice tears through, "NO! Pleeeeeease! Please! He needs me! I'M HIS MOTHER! You can't do this!"  _Shut them out, shut them out._

My head aches again.  
So many have broken the rules. If they break them, they deserve this. They deserve the torture.  
My head clears and I stare at my hands in pure horror. Those aren't my words. They can't, they aren't, and they won't be.

******

Too late. I bang on the door as more and more screams and shouts echo through the halls to the room. Luckily I've kept this room a secret to my possible followers on that radio. I know though, that if I stay here any longer, I'll go insane and tell them eventually.

_(*Clang and echo of metal* *distant voices*) "SHUT UP! You're all in here for a reason, take your God damned punishment!!" (*static*)_

The radio makes it's usual sound that it's time for me to speak. I know what's been going on, and I know they wouldn't air a sex scene. No way, who knows who's listening in? I still don't.

Oh wait, no, that's a different part. We came pretty close to doing it, but to me it didn't feel right because he was only fifteen. So that's why we didn't. I also didn't know there were people watching Sam like stalkers.

 _"The end of that story, isn't fascinating. He couldn't keep his hands off me, we ended up closing the door because we didn't want anyone knowing quite yet. Oh, yeah, two people who loved each other in a room by themselves with the door closed? Actually, no. At least not that time."_  Another few screams shake the room.  _(*screams*)_

 _"SHUT YOUR MOUTHS YOU IDIOTS!" (*static*)_ I pause. Dammit. I'm not supposed to feel this way about them I'm on their team. I'm on Sam's team. I grin a little, as that can be taken two different ways now. I start to think of Sam. How we fell in love, how it took me so long to realize, how we ended up together, how we broke apart.

I've been forcing those thoughts to the back of my mind, I didn't want the brainwashing to affect how I feel about him. Even though the radio plays our story almost 24/7. I just want him off my mind. I just want to know he's safe. I just want to know he's happy, that he knows I've loved him, and always will. I want to know if he still loves me.

 _"I just....."_  I pause, finally allowing myself to remember. I take a small breath for courage. _(*pause and a barely audible deep breath*)_

 _"I can't.... I miss you, Sam. I just want to be with you. It was almost ironic that I never liked star-crossed lovers right? Look at us now. Separated from each other by some force. I just hope I'm not forced to forget you, or be forced to imagine you as anything different....."_  I take another breath.  _(*pause*) "They've done that, here, you know."_

I try to push that memory away, I can still hear the woman's screaming voice. It's only been a week, they were one of maybe three people who could've gotten free but didn't. It turned out, he wasn't a timelive at all. He was innocent of those charges. How I didn't see? Probably because of the brainwash, or being too focused on Lucifer's aura.

Tears start to fall as I hear the screams again, and my mind turns them into hers.  _"Someone had come in to make a deal...and..."_  I can't help but to cry now. I try to keep it together though. ( _*small crying*) "the other attacked and.... "_

A sob forces it's way through my body like a hurricane, but I still try to keep steady. My voice shakes and I stutter and pause as I talk.  _(*a sob*) "it was brutal. The other was... it sounded like he became an animal."_  I want to get through this memory, it's too horrible.

_(*speaking continually gets faster*) "All of us could hear her screams. The guy could have gotten out too. He was found innocent, but she didn't know that. They thought he wouldn't be found innocent either. So they tortured him. Then that, happened and he was charged with murder and cannibalism. Every single one of us could hear it. I know, because I'm the farthest away. I'm the farthest away from everyone......"_

I knew it would spill through eventually. And of course it had to be my second worst memory. The first, was the day Brady betrayed us, it was the last time I saw Sam. Sam. I try to breathe, forcing down the memories. I knew I was lying, but I didn't want life here to seem as bad as it was. I wanted people to know this place was horrible, but I didn't want Sammy coming after and falling into the trap.

_(*shaky breath, slows down breathing*) "Sam, I don't want to become that. I'd rather die than become that. I don't want to die though. I still have hope you'll come to get me. I just... don't want you to. It's a trap. I've said that before. Look, Sam, I love you. And I hope I can see you again. But whatever you do, don't be the one to come save me. I-I'll understand."_

I break again. I miss Sam. I miss his voice, his hair, his beautiful ever-changing eyes, how he's taller and stronger than I am, how we would tease each other about it all.

 _(*voice breaks*) "Please, if you can hear me. Don't be the one to come save me."_  If he tried to save me, he would be trapped here probably, then I'd be forced to listen to  _his_  screams, too. Even if he was successful, I wouldn't... I just don't want him to see me like this. My voice barely comes out as I speak the three words that always truly were truly meant for Sam, and Sam only.

 _(*small, weak, and further broken voice*) "I love you." (*click* *static)_  I hear it click off. My cue now that my speaking time is done. I move over to the bed and think of Sam. I don't cry anymore because all my tears have been drained from me. Instead, I curl into a tight ball trying to imagine I'm with him.

*****

I left out everything detailed from Sam. I left out that I had seen the event myself, in person. I left out how Lucifer treated me. I left out how I needed to recover after all of that. Yet, still, keeping all of that hidden from him, it doesn't make me feel better. If he even is listening. I don't want to think about that now.

My mind keeps taking more breaks, insulting timelives. I find myself thinking of how I will get revenge on them, but I know I don't want revenge. Sam is, or was, I don't know, my boyfriend. He was, is, my life. Everything to me. Worth everything.  _Sam_.

*****

The radio takes more breaks, and I talk more. It helps me take my mind off everything, even though whatever story is telling is exactly what is on my mind. I try to forget everything, but the radio just makes it louder.

I want to shut the world out, but Sam's and my love story plays it's way through. I've fallen asleep listening to the story because it helps me calm down. It helps distract me from the various amount of tortures. Today has been no different. The radio goes silent for a while, and I sit crying. I don't want to get up, I don't want to be here. I have no purpose.

 _(*distant tortured screaming* *someone crying* *static*)_  The radio makes a beep, but I don't move from the bed, still crying. This happens again, once a minute.

 _(.............. *static* ............. *static* ..............)_  As the minutes tick by, the screaming get louder. I hold my eyes shut waiting for the final- I hear a snap of bones and I stifle a sob as the screaming abruptly stops.

 _(*screaming ends after a sickening break of bone*)_  It goes off one more time, when I realize. I wouldn't be here if they had caught Sam. I wipe the tears from my eyes and rush over to the table in new found energy. I sniff and wipe my nose.

 _(*static**someone trying to stop crying* *sniffles*) "I'm here. I'm here." (*whispers*) "I don't know if can do this anymore."_  I feel myself breaking down again as words find themselves escaping my mouth. I try not to cry thinking of what just happened.

The only thing that surprises me is how soft my voice is. It has gotten so quiet, but it feels like I'm yelling.  _(*soft crying*)_

" _They must have designed this to be the worst cell to live in. I hear people being tortured every day._ _Every. Day. I can't take it anymore. Someone if you can hear me please help. This is isn't my fault. They're holding me hostage in hopes of capturing my boyfriend."_

I can't take the ache in my chest when I say that.  _My boyfriend_. I don't even know if I can call Sam that, it's been so long. The thought of not being Sam's boyfriend overwhelmed me, and I can almost feel myself on the verge if a total meltdown.

 _(*chokes on a sob*)_ _"Sam,"_  I take a chaky breath. 'If you can hear me' is what I want to say.  _(*barely audible whisper*)_ _"Sam I'm sorry....."_  I hear a click that signifies the end of my talking session.  _(*click* *static*)_ Luckily I have nothing more to say.

I move back to my bed, and I try to fall asleep as more screams start up. I hold my hands to my ears to block out the echoes flying around the room.

*****

It soon gets harder and harder to get up and move to the radio. I'm moving less and less. The guards have now had to move all the way to the bed to set my meal down.

I don't want to eat, what's the point if I'm going to die here? If they aren't going to kill me, just torture me, might as well kill myself faster. The radio makes another beeping noise just as another victim's screams of complete agony rip through the silence.  
_(*static*............*static*............*static**screaming*)_  I know when the radio is broken now, and it makes static noises and then goes silent. It happens a few times, and I finally pick myself up to move over the few feet from the bed to the desk.

 _(*in and out static and screams*..............)_  The screams get louder and soon the sound of what they are doing comes through again. I hear the drill and liquid and I nearly throw up on the spot.

My anger boils and a rush towards the door. It could never help, but I scream anyways.  _(*screaming*)_ _"STOP! STOP!"_  The screaming gets louder. I squeeze my eyes shut and I bang my fist on the door.

I whisper, "No, it isn't their fault. It isn't." I suddenly stand up, I don't know what I'm doing but suddenly the ringing of metals echoes harshly thought the small room.

A piercing scream rips through the silence like a knife. I cover my ears and block out the sound, the echoes. Tears stream down my face as I try to hold myself together. It's all the timelives fault.

_(*loud harsh clang of metal* *screams of agony and torture*)_

********

The screams of torture continue to increase in both volume and frequency. As well as the radio silences.

 _(*static*)_  I hear the radio go silent, stopping the story from continuing. I can no longer stand hearing about a story that seems to have happened so long ago. Has it only been around six months? eight months? a year? I don't even know anymore. The radio makes a beeping sound.

 _(.............*static*)_  The screaming only continues and I can't help it anymore.  _(*screaming* )"STOP! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!! IT ISN'T MY FAULT! IT WAS NEVER MY FAULT!"_  I scream towards the door. The radio beeps again, and I think everything floods my brain at once.

I start to cry just from remembering.  _Sam_. The tortured souls. The torture itself. The screams. The pleading. The whiteness. The radio. The silences. The beeping.....     _Sam._

 _(*static* *soft crying*)_  I get up the courage to move over to the radio. _"One day. One day we'll be together right, Sam? I wish it could be this life, but it may be the next. I can't do this anymore, Sam. I can't. I'm struggling just to shut their screams out. One more. One more day. Maybe tomorrow I can say that too. But today, I'm gonna say I give up tomorrow. It's one more day. What's just one more?"_  The radio begins our story again and I cry softly to myself.

******

I can't... I can't take any of this anymore. I want to cry and scream, I want it all to just stop. I can't help people end their torture and suffering. I can't escape. I will probably never see Sam again. It's been three days since I told him I would wait another day. I can't fight anymore. There is nothing left in me.

I sink to my knees in the middle of the room. The echoes of everyone who has ever been tortured still echo in my brain. The screams of the victim in the torture chamber now reverberate back to me. Over and over and over and over again and again and again and again.  _(*screaming*)_

The next thing I hear is crying. Loud sobs.  _(*loud crying**sobbing*)_  I hear the radio's silence but I don't move. I feel the tears stream down my face as more screams pierce through the air and continue to echo.  _(*static*)_ The radio continues to be silent and start again. I don't know what the purpose is, but at this point I don't care. It is taking all my strength to not get up and scream 'surrender'.

The screams come in louder and louder. Soon the tears have dried up and I breathe hard trying to get oxygen to reach my sleep-deprived brain.  _(*screaming and loud sobbing*)_

After about an hour, the screaming stops and the guards bring me water. But as soon as they give it to me, they walk out and the screams resume. It takes awhile before tears start falling again.

( _*screaming and loud sobbing*)_  It takes hours before I find my voice. I scream and hit walls. I try and tear apart the bed. The screams, the yelling, shouting, drilling, dogs, people, victim, timelives. They have driven me insane.

I want it to be over. Timelives, the government, I don't care who wins. I just want it to be over. What they call a war, I would call lunchtime here. But there's no stopping this. Because to me, this isn't about war, it's about two people who loved each other, and fought for each other. We fought to stay together, but now that's gone. It was his stupid aura, he didn't have one. Why did you think you always had such an interest in him? Because from the moment he walked in, I knew something was dangerous and mysterious was about him. He was the greatest mystery of life. I wish I was sorry I fell in love with him. I wish this were some sort of dream or a TV show. So I could maybe get spoilers as to what would happen. But this is real. And it's gonna end bloody for me. And I realize, that's how it's gotta be.

I don't know how long it takes, but it feels like days before I finally manage to whisper brokenly:

_**"I give up."** _

*****

I sit in silence for days. They give me food, but I refuse to eat. They give me water, but I only drink if the pain in my throat gets too unbearable.

I don't speak anymore. There is no one listening, if there had been, someone would have been here to rescue me. No one has come, Sam has probably been captured and tortured somewhere else, and I'm left here to die.

 _(*static*..............*static*...............*static*..............*static**click* *silence*)_  The radio goes silent, but I don't cry. I don't speak. I do nothing. They have long since closed the window to the hallway. They thought I may need to recover, but for me, there is no recovery anymore. The radio makes a click, and resumes the story.

*******

The guards drag me out. I've given up, they can't torture me mentally anymore. The only thing in tact, is my love for Sam and my determination to say that timelives are not bad people. I love Sam, whether or not he is a timelive, I will still love him. If he is still alive. As they drag me out, I hear one more click of the radio.  _(*static**click**silence*)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Sams' version, I hope I didn't break you too much so you won't read the rest. If you don't believe that it could get worse, trust me (oops) it will get much worse.


	27. Please Hear Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This still isn't the worst! But oh my god I am an awful person. Also, some mild triggers, one is pretty blunt, but it passes by. But watch out for the rest.

I lay on my bed looking up at the ceiling. I've been like this ever since Frank had finally gotten us to the city safely.

It's been three days, and I haven't eaten anything. I've been too worried about Gabe. They're probably torturing him as we speak. I can't imagine what they could possibly do.

I lay on my bed and think of all the what ifs. What if I had decided not to listen to Gabe and pushed him back in the van? What if we had caught Brady before we left? What if we never met Frank? What if we never left? What if I never fell in love with Gabe? What if we hadn't moved so much? What if my dad didn't drink? What if my mom never died? What if? What if? What if?

I close my eyes, thinking none of this could get any worse. My heart aches for him, and he hasn't even been gone long. I try not to think about the harsh truth behind that, he could be gone forever.

*****

It's another week before anything really happens. Alfie is sent up to bring me food, but I never eat it. I just lay in bed trying to get Gabe off my mind, but I can only think about how he should be  _here_  with me. My mind then drifts to Alfie, his presence takes my mind off Gabriel whenever he comes in with my food. The only reason he is sent up, is because he hasn't spoken since the incident. The rest of us just barely speak, but him, not at all.

When Alfie walked in with the food, he had paused on his way out. I didn't pay attention much, but I knew he had stopped because I didn't hear the familiar creak in that moment. I was too wrapped up in wondering how we could get him to speak again, when really I shouldn't be thinking about that since I can't even leave my room.

I stare at my hands as the bed dips down. I look up to see Alfie staring down at me expectantly. He hands me a small red radio and I stare at it as I take it from him.

I hear a faint voice and turn it up slightly. A static feminine voice comes through, "-are dangerous, and this next story will tell you why. The last story you heard was of Cain and Colette. Oh, poor Colette, left behind by her dearest Cain. Like we said, timelives will turn their backs on you. This next story happened fairly recently. Let's just say, when it comes to sacrifice, Timelives aren't willing to pay. That's why Gabriel is being tortured as Sam dwells in his 'protected' city-"

My eyes widen.  _What? There's no way._  I keep listening, and I don't even notice Alfie has left, or that it's nearly midnight.

******

The next morning I bring the radio downstairs to breakfast, still listening. It's the only lead I have to finding Gabriel. Frank is bringing the food over to the table when he stops and stares at me.

I'm to busy listening to the radio to hear what he says. "What? Can you repeat that?" I said looking up at him.

"Where in the blazes did you get that?"

"Alfie found it in the closet in my room upstairs." I wasn't actually sure where he got it, I just assumed that's where he took it from.

"I need to make a call" Frank sets the food down quickly and awkwardly runs to the next room. I shrug and set the radio down as I sit.

We get halfway through breakfast before Frank comes walking back in. "Prepare to leave this afternoon."

"Woah, what? Because of the radio!?" I shout, completely taken aback.

"That radio indicates that they've hacked some of our system." Frank says in a harsh, voice while pointing at the radio.

"So,why do we need to leave?" Alfie asks calmly.  _How can he be so calm? And holy shit, did he just_ speak _?_

"Because we don't know how much of the system they've hacked. They could be hearing from anything, including that radio." He nods his head to my small red radio. "We can't risk someone giving up our location. Leaving the area is the best idea in this situation."

Alfie and the two girls nod and go back to eating. They finish quickly and go upstairs to pack.

"So what? First signs that Gabe might still be alive and we have to leave?" I ask defensively.

"Don't worry Sam, I have to reset the entire system. Then I have to come back here to see how far they got in hacking. I requested you be with me so you can help." He must have seen the look on my face because he continued, "You won't have to do anything, but this is the most you've been responsive since Gabriel left. So you're coming, you might even find out what's happening over by him." He smiles.

I smile back with gratitude before quickly finishing and going upstairs to pack.

******

It takes only a few hours to get the entire section of the city evacuated, since that's the only part that has been hacked. Frank was able to stop the rest of the hacking, or really infiltration since really they had passwords, when he took a quick trip to the city center. Frank and I are moved to a trailer at the edge of the city. It's quiet and peaceful. Woods surround the quaint trailer that is to be our home for the next.... -well, who knows how long.

"So, anything else happen on the radio?" Frank questions me when he grabs the remaining boxes from outside. He started fiddling with his machine that he built when he started moving.

"No, but there has been interludes about every hour." I say from my bed. Frank continues setting everything up before walking over to me. He grabs the radio and walks back. "Hey!"

"I need to get the frequency it's on so we can- aha!" There's a quick loud shriek of vibrations and everything goes silent. Within seconds the speakers are louder and play the same station that the radio did.

"Whoa, how did you do that?" I ask intrigued.

"Simple. Well for me, for others it's- well it's complicated." He shows me the steps he took to find the frequency the station was using and have one of his computers play it. "So now we can hear it 24/7, except when we're asleep."

"And when they have the interludes."

"A-actually that's what I wanted to talk about." I tilt my head slightly in confusion. "It's a new type of torture, somewhat, for the person in prison, and those outside who want their loved one back. Gabe is listening to all of this too. He hears the story, knows every detail of what's wrong."

"Can he hear us?"

"No. As I was saying-"

"Wait, this is a torture but how?"

"Shut up and let me explain. I was just about to anyways."

"Sorry." He glares and I give half of a smile.

"Gabriel is forced to listen to something he doesn't want to. Something that reminds him of home. The silences are when he is supposed to be speaking. They will force him to speak eventually but he also won't be able to speak against any of what they say."

"Or what? They'll hurt him?" I asked, scared of the answer.

"Yes." I close my eyes. I can't imagine what Gabe has to go through right now. He just lost his family, now he's stuck in- I don't know prison?- next he'll have to speak with something he stands against? Not only that, but listen to the story of all of that, with the threat of physical torture on his back?

******

It was at least another couple weeks before I finally heard Gabe's voice. The moment I heard his voice I dropped the book I was reading and ran to the computers.

" _Like I said before everything has been normal that day."_ I could hear the hurt in his voice. What have they been doing to him? 

I sit listening to everything he says wanting to speak up, speak out against all of this. This isn't fair, this is barely him. I can tell as he continues he is becoming less and less of who he is.

By the end, I just want to scream at it. This isn't the real him! He's lying! If only he could hear me.

 _"-that's in the past. All of it is, and now I'm stuck here in this_ -" His last words are cut off and I whip my head up to glare at it.

Frank comes walking in and I stand up, throwing the chair back with a force.

"Gabriel finally speaking?" He asks nonchalantly as he continues with what he was doing. I nod. "They all break eventually. This is the first. Next is when he stops talking." He pauses waiting for a reaction, I don't give him one. "For  _good._ " I look at him in fear and tentatively touch the computers.

"He has to be alright. He has to. He has to make it." I whisper softly, chanting it to myself like a lifeline. The hope that's there, something Gabriel probably no longer has.

*******

_"I wasn't supposed to live like this. I was supposed to live a life....only wondering what.......... meant.... wasn't...I didn't.....never was......red....green..."_

_"_ No!" I grasp at the nearest computer desperately. "Come on! No! Come back! Come back! Don't leave Gabe! Don't leave! I need you, here, with me. I want you to come back Gabe! Please, please, please come back." I monologue.

There is nothing I want more in life then to see him again. His voice is solace for me. It's so good to hear it. I've heard it so many times in the past week, and now it's become an addiction to me. I fear the moment he stops, I'll lose him forever. I don't even listen to the story anymore. I wait for Gabe to come back on, just so I know he is still alive. So I can still hope that one day he'll be here with me again.

******

_"I'm sane because I would..never.......in love.....I wouldn't......normal...life......supposed.....not like this..."_

I hit my hands on the table. I can no longer be by the computers that connect with the radio. I almost destroyed it in anger last time Gabe had talked. In my defense, Gabriel has none. It was clear he was punched in the jaw by the way he slurred his words. These people make it sound like timelives are the worst thing. Now Gabriel sounds like he regrets ever falling in love with me.

That can't happen. No. We are supposed to be together. It's a promise. It's a deal. Our deal, to ourselves and to Kyle. I can't handle this. There is no way I can keep listening to Gabe like this.

*******

_"I can't go on. Not anymore. Maybe I can finally tell you this time. Sam..... Sam....."_

I cry silently. Thankfully Frank is out. He always seems to be out when Gabriel starts talking. Almost as if those people plan it like that. Just to torture me, because it'd be directed at me and  _only_ me.

"What is it Gabe? Can't you hear me? What is it? Tell me. Please. Tell me you love me. Please hear me." I pray. I know he isn't an angel, but he's an angel to me. "Please Gabe, hear me. I love you. Say you love me too." I wish Gabe was here next to me to comfort me. Then again, if he was here, I wouldn't need the comfort.

*******

_"No! I couldn't tell you last time! Please I swear I will tell you. Don't leave. I swear, if you leave I can't tell you. Trust me don't leave this time. You need to hear this. Sam... Sam...is.....a...."_

"Timelive! That's what I am and that's what I'll always be! You can't take that away!" I scream at no one in particular. I clung to the words of how he didn't want me to leave. It was like a punch to the gut, with a knife. I would never leave him, but he left me, to save me.

I wish Gabe was here with me. I wish I didn't have to hear his voice anymore. Not like that anyways. I wish he wasn't there. I wish I'd never fallen in love. I wouldn't be like this, and Gabe would be safe. "Just like you can't take away the fact that I'm in love. I'm in love with you Gabe. You hear that? I love you, Gabriel Novak.  _Nothing_ and  _no one_  will ever take that away. Hear me Gabe? Please hear me." I pray into the abyss.

*******

 _"Trust me, turn back, it's for your sake. This story, it doesn't end happy, it will end in heart break. I ask, beg,_ plead  _you don't read further. Trust me.... not safe.....danger.....crossroads.... ....... Darkness ....... Time...... ..live"_

"I refuse Gabe. I'm not going to. Listen for once. I will never leave you. Hear me? Never! I will  _never_ leave you!" I scream into the silence. I'm going insane. Yelling and screaming to someone who will never hear my words.

********

" _So everything then turned out great didn't it? Life was great and everything was alright. This was my life! This was supposed to be my life!! My life was ruined! It only took a year. A year before my life came crashing down and now I'm here. Stuck in this jail, waiting to get out. This isn't the last you've heard from me. No. This isn't the last, if anything- this is just the beginning........"_

For once Frank is with me. He keeps a hand on my shoulder as I sob into my hands. I've been a wreck ever since Gabe left. I'm so happy that for once, he didn't say his life was ruined by me. I know before he had said it, but that was because they had him say that.

They. Who is they? The people who hate timelives? That have now started an entire campaign? There are huge political campaigns all over now offering rewards for any found timelives. Half the population of this city is timelives. The other half is their families. They've evacuated the timelives underground. Everything is still normal though. I don't know how they manage it. The tunnels are all open, but the timelives remain underground. They do their business there, and their families can visit them whenever they want.

I'm the only one allowed above ground these days. One, because I think they forgot about me. Two, because Frank requested it. Three, they don't get radio signal down there.

I don't want to hear Gabriel's voice anymore. But I fear that if I don't listen, he'll be lost to me forever.

********

_"It isn't their fault. It isn't their fault. It isn't our fault. It isn't their fault. It isn't my fault. It isn't their fault. It isn't his fault. It isn't their fault........"_

I've listened in on the radio again. I can no longer cry when I hear his voice. Maybe it's because I no longer hear what he is saying. I just hear his voice. Which seems to get hoarser and darker as the days go by. I want to cry this time. He has risked a lot just to say those words. I wonder what they'll do to him this time.

*******

Now I'm the only timelive out of the city. They've let me on some of their rescue trips to save other timelives in jail. It's been weeks since I heard Gabe's voice and I'm starting to miss it. Will he even be there when I get back?

******

We've hit every known jail that holds timelives and their allies, and none of them have Gabe in it. I'm starting to give up. What if I never find him? Dean and Cas have left home to join the hunt. Radios seem to be the only way to communicate with the prisoners. Each station hits a different city.

We haven't had a job in a while and I'm starting to get worried. What if I never hear Gabe's voice again? What if I never see him again? These thoughts have swarmed my head for weeks. What if he dies before I can even get to him? I'll never be able to tell him I love him again.

*******

I heard Gabe's voice again. It wrecked me. The moment I heard it I broke down crying. He's still alive. He's still out there, waiting for me. Waiting for me to fail yet again at finding him. His is the only source we can't trace. Frank says it's because he must no longer be connected to their systems. I call it bullshit, but then again, what do I know? I'm just a blind, love struck, love sick teenager who can't be the knight in shining armor.

I was at one point. I was the kid who saved him. The first days I met him. I haven't been able to save him since. He's the one who saved me. I'm going to keep my promise and find him. It'll be the last thing I do, I can't die trying, but I won't do anything ever again if I find him dead.

********

_"They're going to try to capture you if you ever try to come and get me. Don't come! Sam don't come I'm begging! Sam. Please. If you can hear me I just want to say-"_

_"Gabe?! Gabe!! NO!" I scream at the high tech radio. I turn to the man next to me. "Do something, Frank!" The man just rolls his eyes._

_"I can't. Obviously the signal from his side is gone. Whether it was cut off or the connection's bad, I don't know. Either way, I can't fix it." My anger gets the better of me and I throw Frank against the back wall of the trailer._

_"Look man. I've searched nearly every jail looking for him! Now he says I can't save him! I know now that I can't! Now the connection is lost, yet again!" I furiously scream at him._

_"Look I see that, but there's nothing I can do to get the connection back! Even if I tried!" He yells back pathetically. I take my hands off his throat and sit back down. I put my head in my hands._

_"Ok, alright. I'm sorry. Let's just...." I say weakly. What am I going to do without him? I've spent months away from him, and now I can't even be the one to save him. If I only I could hear his voice again......_

_*********_

It's the first time in weeks since I've been able to listen to his voice all the way through the message without throwing something or throwing a fit. I'm a failure. I've hit every jail. There hasn't been a job in weeks. We've managed to save hundreds to thousands of timelives, and other non-timelives who tried to help them. But for most non-timelives, we were too late to save.

Dean's on a job with Cas, they've been looking for Gabe ever since Cas heard his brother was gone. Michael wanted to help, but the city said he would help search for signals or hack into the government's computers to get information on timelives under sixteen. Last I had heard, he went against their orders and joined in the hunts anyways.

I'm such a failure. I can't save my boyfriend, and I'll never see him again. These days his voice isn't enough. "If only you were here Gabe. If only I could see you again. Tell you I love you. Please hear me Gabe. Wherever you are, please hear me.  _I love you."_

_********_

For once I listen to the story. I nearly break down when I hear it. I forgot it was a few months before we finally admitted we liked each other. Although, I was always in love with him,  _liking_ him always seemed like a better start. If only I told him sooner we would have been together longer. If only I had never told him, we would never be together and he wouldn't be stuck in a place where I can't locate and save him.

I laugh a little when they mention I held Gabe's hand  _again._  I had been doing that for awhile, he just never noticed. Soon I would do it so often I wouldn't notice either. I laugh when they tell of Gabe's reaction. I fear if I don't laugh, I'll break down crying because of the memories.

*********

I had missed a few of Gabriel's sessions again. I hoped I wouldn't miss anymore, but they found more hidden prisons. I couldn't miss the opportunity to possibly be the one to save Gabe. I know what he said, but I'm gonna be stubborn. I  _will_ be the one to save him. I can't die, and it's not like we've gotten caught yet. The government is weakening now that most of the population are realizing the corruption.

It was a relief when the entire state of New York had seceded because of all of it. Three more states after it, then Montana, the state the timelive city is located in. So many more states have seceded after, only about half of the country though, and barely any are connected to each other. These ones stand united against the rest of the country. It's become an entire new civil war.

But I want nothing to do with it. All I want is Gabe. He is supposed to be here,  _here,_ with me. Not stuck at some jail where he clearly has no idea what's going on.

I walk in the trailer I haven't seen in over a couple weeks. The radio is on, but I don't listen to it. That is not until I realize it is Gabe that is the one talking. And talking about  _me_.

 _"Please, if you can hear me. Don't be the one to come save me. (*small, weak, and further broken voice*) I love you. (*click* *static*)"_ I rush over to the radio. He loves me, after all this time. He's still fighting. He's still fighting them, their torture, and their brainwashing treatment. He still remembers how he loved me, not just what the story says anymore. Those narrators are corrupt and insult and manipulate it's audience. The only reason why Florida seceded today and joined the allied nation.

He still remembers. He loves me, he still loves me. "Gabe. Gabriel, I hear you. I hear you Gabe. I love you too."

********

"Gabe! No Gabe! Gabe it's ok, it's ok, I'm listening!"

" _Sam I'm sorry....."_

"No Gabe! Gabe, Gabe! Keep fighting! You have to keep fighting! We're almost there. We're gonna find you. Just keep talking. Just hear me! Listen to me! God damn it!" I pace the short space in the trailer, clenching and unclenching my fists. "I wish you could hear me, Gabe. I wish you could. Please hear me for once. I love you. I love you, Gabe. Keep fighting. Always keep fighting, Gabe." I pray.

*******

_"Frank do something!" I yell. I don't know what to do. Obviously the screams are from Gabe. What are they doing to him?_

_"Sam, we can't bust in there yet. Dean and Cas will be here in two days time. They got the backup, they'll be here."_

_"You said that a week ago!"I stand up furious. I have to do something. I start to pace. I have to save him. It's not his fault, he didn't.... I didn't even ask to be like this._

_My thoughts are interrupted as another scream pierces through the air. "FRANK! Do something!"_

_"What do you want me to do?!"_

_"Turn it off. Turn him off. I can't listen to this." I pace faster and run my hands through my hair._

_"You know I can't do that, we have to gather the information of where exactly that prison is."_

_I walk out of the trailer for a minute to catch my breath. I just want to stop hearing his screams. I don't ever want to hear him be tortured again. Why do we have to wait for Dean? I don't care if it's for my safety. Gabe needs to get out of there as soon as possible._

We found the place, well we traced it to a state two weeks ago. Then we got a region. Now we are closing in on cities. Dean said he'd be back to take me along. I haven't been on any trips in months and I needed to keep my head clear and away from Gabe. I want to hear his voice so I know I haven't lost him, but that's the only 'pro' in this situation.

I'm a failure. I can't save him, by the time we get there. He could be....he could be dead.

*******

_"One more. One more day. Maybe tomorrow I can say that too. But today, I'm gonna say I give up tomorrow. It's one more day. What's just one more?"_

Gabe could be gone tomorrow. Gabe could be gone  _tomorrow_. Dean isn't even a day away and Gabe could be gone tomorrow. He's only in Nebraska, Dean isn't here yet, and Gabe could be gone tomorrow.

I'm done with the what if's. They drag me down. I'm done with the failures of finding him. We located the city. We only need Dean here. Gabe could be gone by tomorrow. "Gabe hear me. We will get there. Gabriel, please hear me. I love you, we're almost there. We'll find you and get you. I'll save you." Why do you have to be so far away?

********

I want to scream and cry. I'm gonna punch Dean when he gets here. Screw the timelives, they won't die. Gabe will. Gabe can still die. He can't give up. If he gives up, gives in to their torture. He'll only get worse. His sense of touch is heightened because the screams lower his ability to hear. They're making him deaf, and once that is gone......

These days all it is, all that we hear, is screaming and torture. Gabe's probably gone. But that's when I hear it, Gabe finally speaks, my hope skyrockets, until I hear what he had to say. " _I give up."_ I'm going to murder Dean.

"NO! No! Gabe you can't give up! You can't! Gabe I need you!" I cry. Frank walks in then and I try to stop but I can't. Tears flow down my cheeks, washing away the dirt, grime, and grease that cover my face like a mask. I haven't left the radio since Gabe said he'd only wait one more. It's only been a couple days, well four if I was counting, but he's made it so far. He's made it months. If only he could keep fighting back.

*******

_I pace outside. The radio still plays our story, but Gabe hasn't interrupted. When they cut to his part so he can speak, its only silence. I know he's gone. They took him out. He gave up, gave into their torture._

_The only thing is that they'll torture him even more now. I keep pacing._ I can't take it anymore. Dean needs to come, he needs to save Gabe. I need him.  _I stop and stand still._

I need him.  _I break down crying. He's everything to me. He kept me safe and sane through everything that happened. When Kyle...and Jo. When we were escaping._

_I love him. I'm in love with him, I know I do. I've always known, that first day I knew. I loved his whiskey colored eyes and his blondish hair. I loved how he was so much shorter than me. He didn't even realize it, but half the time he would flirt with me._

_I can't... I can't live without him. I need him. He makes me so happy, so worry free because I know he'll help me and protect me. Other people can do that I know, but I don't trust them with my life like I do Gabe._

_"Gabe. Gabriel stay alive. Please. Please be alive. Don't leave me." I wish I was never born. Then I wouldn't be this. And Gabe wouldn't have ever been in danger. Gabe wouldn't be tortured right now. Gabe wouldn't be at risk of dying for my sake. I'd kill myself, but because I'm a timelive, I'll never die._

The fact that I need him hurts. What hurts more, is that after all these months, I only realized it now. How could I be so stupid? To wait? It's never gotten me anywhere, only left me with regrets.

*********

_I pace outside again. I can't experience, again, what the story will tell. I pull a paper out my pocket and read it over and over. I cry, wishing Kyle hadn't done something so stupid. Had he lived, he would've seen there was no way we could've been together anyways. Star-crossed lovers as Gabriel said._

_How could we have been so stupid, had I known what I know now, I would've changed it. Gabe never would have been captured, we wouldn't have been betrayed. I never would feel obligated to keep a promise to Kyle. A promise that tore me apart the first time I read it. A promise that kills me now, because I don't think I'll be able to keep it. I keep the promise for two reasons. I love Gabe, and Kyle was my best friend. I can't let either of them down._

_"I'm seventeen now, Gabe. It's almost August. Only a week until you're birthday. Almost a year you've been gone." I start cry. "You weren't supposed to be gone this long, damn it." Tears fall from my eyes. "Gabe, I'm in love with you. Gabriel you hear me? I'm in love with you." I lean against the trailer. I fall to my knees clutching the note to my heart. "God damn it, I hate you G-Gabriel Novak. Why'd you go and do it? Wh-Why'd you make me fall in love? Why'd you fall for me? Why make the speech? Why es-escape with me? Why protect me? Why get c-c-captured? Screw y-you Gabriel Novak." I sob._

_"I just want you here next to m-me. I've been a-apart from you longer than we-we've been together. I-I'm in love. Okay? I'm not letting you go. I didn't then, I won't now. I'm not giving up. I trust you, Gabe. I trusted you, and I always will. Just come back to me. Because I'm not letting you go, you absolute.." The words come out broken. I can't even manage to get the last words out. I want him back._

_I walk in to hear the last of our story. Once it's over, I'm turning myself in. Dean had better be here tomorrow unless he wants to find his brother gone we when he gets here._

*******

(Kyle's note)

_Sam, Gabe,_

  _I'm only gonna talk to you two. I've said my goodbyes. I've saved lives of others who wanted to kill themselves. The thing is, yeah, my life isn't the greatest. It's not the worst either and I know that. I've done my job. The only reason I wanted to do this, was because I didn't want some other force to tell me when and how I'm gonna die. If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna do it my way. I only had one business left here. The only reason it is unfinished is because by the time it could officially happen, it might be too late to take my fate into my hands. Like I said I've said my goodbyes. My last task, was to get you two together, and have you stay together. See what I mean? You two belong together, Sam, you know what you told me. Gabe, you've just now realized the same thing Sam has known all along. Promise me that you two will stay together. It's the only thing I cared about in my last days. Wow, I sound old. Then again I am dying, this is the oldest I'm ever going to be. Look, I only stayed alive these past few months, because both of you were to stubborn to admit you liked each other. Now that you're together, stay together. Promise?_

_************_

Finally Dean comes back. The moment his crew comes through town, I hop in his Impala and we take off. The car is still as good as ever, if not better, even through all the cross country trips. Dean tries to turn on the radio, but I put in one of the cassettes he has in the car. I can't stand the idea of a radio anymore.

It's been two weeks since Gabe's last words.  _I give up._ They're still ringing in my ears. I can't get them out of my head. I pull out Kyle's note again. I read it through.  _I give up._ I have to at least tell him I love him  _I give up._  I'm not giving up. I still have hope that Gabe is alive.  _I give up._  Those can't be the last words Gabe says. Those can't be the last words I hear from Gabe. They can't be. They can't.  _I give up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What have I written? It's so fucking depressing and sad, and it's not even the worst! No the worst is still yet to come. If you can believe it, how much worse can this get? Well..... at least I'll tell you the worst is probably next chapter, unless your opinion is the last chapter.


	28. Regret Can't Save You Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is filled with explicit violence. Read at your own risk. This is not a joke, this chapter deals with a lot of torture. You may skip this, I will give a warning to say when it is at least relatively safe. Please do not read, as it may have some triggers. I told you it was going to get worse, and well. I have a horrible mind, my friend doesn't call me soulless for nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear god what have I written. Like holy shit, I need a warning, need to change the rating and archive, and holy crap, I'm already begging you not to hate me.

I can feel everything around me.

I can't hear anything around me.

My mouth tastes metallic.

I can't see, but that's because my eyes are closed from exhaustion.

I can only smell one thing. Blood.

*******

I can feel the restraints at my wrists, waist, and ankles. There's a harsh pain in my side, and I feel liquid poor steadily down my side, pooling around me. It takes me a moment before I feel the sharp sting of cold all along my backside. I almost laugh, but my throat is hoarse, and the situation makes me stop before it can even move past my tongue.

A typical torture table, where they have already started. I smell a faint scent of blood, which must be my own. My head throbs and I groan in pain. A hear a door open and slam close.

"Finally awake princess?" Lucifer's sickeningly sweet voice comes through the thick air. I nearly choke up a sob, but my throat burns at the attempt. "I wonder if you can even hear me." He phrases it like a question. It sounds so far away and dull. "Oh, well blink if you can hear me." My eyes are closed and there's no chance I can open them.  _Wait, how does he know I'm awake._

I open and close my mouth trying to say something, but he clamps his hand over my mouth harshly. "No speaking, you are not allowed to." I feel a cold metal run across my stomach and a second later feel an intense sting. My eyes shoot open in panic. "See? I knew you'd wake up for me." He gives me a wide smile, but his eyes look dead. "Now that my boss put my in charge of your torture, we are gonna have some fun." I feel the thin blade run across my stomach again before I feel him slash it down my arm twice.

I try and cry out, but they're stopped by his hand. He pushes harder when I try, "No, nope. Remember, you aren't allowed to make any noise." Tears spring to my eyes and they burn as they start to run down my face. "See, most would use a knife first, but the sting of a tiny blade actually increases pain. Well, maybe. I guess you could call this an experiment. So let's do try." He gives his most sinister sneer, and I close my eyes. I sense him move away and I shut my eyes tightly preparing myself for the worst.

I hear a slide of metal before I feel him back at my side. "One side will be this tiny blade." He forces my eyes open into the harsh light and makes me look at the blade. "And this, is the knife." He holds the item in front of my eyes. "Since I started with the tiny blade on your left arm, that's where we'll start."

It takes twenty minutes for him to finally stop. Some of them were slow, others deep. I can feel blood pouring out of them still. "Does that hurt?" His laugh is like poison. I want to throttle him. My arm feels as though it is on fire, the cuts it's fuel, and the blood the water to put it out. "See, if only you heeded my warning and not speak for the timelives." I gasp for air as he starts cutting my right arm with the knife. "Only across the arm, not down. We want you hurting not dead." He sing-songed. I give a small whine, and he slaps me across the face harshly. "I said  _no_  noise."

My breathing is harsh and ragged by the time he is done. My head feels light from the lack of blood. "So, raise the arm that hurts the most." Lucifer says. He's so close I can feel his breath on my neck. Tears spring to my eyes again as I lift the arm he just got done tearing apart. "That's what I thought. Anyways, we need you alive so. Unfortunately I have to clean you up. Get some blood back in your system." I hear his footsteps retreat and I nearly scream in pain. I'm too scared to, he may hear me from wherever he is. I didn't hear him leave the room, so I can't do it.

He comes back and pours a liquid all over my left arm. This time I do scream, my entire upper body lifting off the table, and Lucifer grabs my throat and smashes my head back down on the table. "I said no noise! Next time I won't be so nice. It's just a little rubbing alcohol get over it." My breathes come in harsh labored breaths. He rubs a rag roughly over my arms and I tense at the pain, but it only succeeds in making it worse. I try and keep quiet, but a whine sometimes escapes my mouth and Lucifer feels obligated to punch or hit me. Somewhere, anywhere, everywhere.  _Why_ _can't_ _I_ _just_ _stop_ _making_ _noises_ _?_ _Stop_ _making_ _him_ _angry_ _._  "Hmmm, some of these are gonna need stitches." 

I nearly cry out, but he clamps his hand over my mouth again. He leans down and in my ear. He whispers harshly, "I don't want to hear anything from you. If I do, what will come, will be worse,  _much_ _worse_."

I nod my head, it hurts where he slammed it against the table. He roughly lifts my head up, he turns it not giving one crap if he's hurting me. My chin is placed on my chest as he looks at the backside of my head, my only thought is how sore it will be afterward. After turning it from side to side he says, "Hmm, guess you're lucky it's only gonna be a bruise. Could be worse." He drops my head back on the table, to which Lucifer just shrugs. He leaves to grab stitches. When he comes back, he shows no mercy. If he screwed up, he left the thread in and just continued wherever he left last. Which seemed to happen at least once or twice at every cut.

***

By the end, I was completely exhausted and barely able to breathe. My throat closed up, luckily I could still breathe, but it hurt.

"We need to let you heal a bit, unfortunately. We don't need you dying before we allow." He calls back to me as he leaves. The door making the tools next to me rattle when it gets slammed shut.

*********

I have never regretted something more in my entire life. Sure, I regret ever falling in love with Sam because I wouldn't be in this mess, but  _this._ This is a whole new level.

Every few days Lucifer comes in. He pushes me hard, there is no room for mercy in his treatments. Afterwards when he cleans up, is no better, if not, worse. To say putting salt in the wounds would mean more than just a metaphor. As well as kick a man while he's down.

Sometimes I'm tied to a table, other times I am chained to the wall. Today I'm chained to two posts. My hands are hanging out and attached to rope, the posts are short so I have to be on my knees. I'm sitting on my feet, which I shouldn't be doing since only a few "sessions" ago he broke them.

Lucifer walks in and I want to cry and break down right then and there. But my throat is hoarse from his last session. Screaming only brought more pain.

"Well if it isn't my favorite subject." I try to glare, but I'm too weak. My eyes close instead. "Oh, you're gonna want to be awake for this one Gabbykins." I sob softly, but only tears come out. My throat burns and it feels like daggers are jabbing at every muscle in my neck. He walks up and grabs my face forcing my to look up at him.

"We are really going to have a lot of fun today." He walks away for a minute, and my head hangs down again. He grabs my head and throws it back. He shoves a rag into my mouth that tasted of some bitter substance. I try to spit it out, but he ties it around my head,  _tightly_. My tongue hurts from trying to keep it as far back in my mouth as possible. He then sits down and rests on his feet, just like me, right in front of me. The only difference is he can sit up straight, while my entire body sags with exhaustion and brokenness. "Oh what shall we start with?" His eyes light up with insanity. "We could start with the whip. Of course than, I'd have to fix you after every twenty. Their rules not mine." His eyes go dull again in disappointment. They light back up and he says, "Then again, if I put stitches in, they could rip out on the next set." His eyes dull. "But I can still only go so long before I reach the limit."

He then smirks and moves forward placing his hands on my thighs. "After all this, can you even get turned on?" He whispers darkly in my ear. He runs his hands up and down rubbing harder when he gets higher.

"That'd be a great experiment wouldn't it? After how much torture can someone stand, and then give up completely on something like that?" He never directly says it. I want him to so bad, just so he can get it out there. I know his techniques, if he vaguely speaks about it he may or may not do it. I just want to know so I can prepare.

His fingers start pressing harder, sure to leave bruises. He then grabs me from behind and brings my legs out fully and sits in between them. My breathing becomes even more labored than it already is, in fear that he might actually go through with this. "I bet you already fucked that  _Sammy_ of yours didn't you?" I let out a gasp of fear, and his eyes become even more crazed than before. "Oh, you have? Isn't that just interesting. So, being the smaller he probably fucked you, really is kind of cliche isn't it? Guess you really do fit those stereotypes." He's gonna follow through. I know it, he's directly saying it, well as much he can. He's just beating around the bush at this point, which I try not to remember is another metaphor that is no longer just a metaphor. I can feel his finger grip at my waist and he presses his body against me.

My wrists hurt from being restrained. I try to lean back, away from Lucifer, but the rope digs into my skin. My back is still about a foot off the ground. He leans close to my ear, "So which way was it?" I let out a whine. "Did he fuck you?" I shake my head. "So, you did him?" His smiles dangerously wide when my eyes glance down. I shook my head no again. He scoffs, "of course. Blowjobs and hand jobs? That's so teenager like, he's still underage isn't he?" He smiles one of his sickly sweet smiles, and a surge of protectiveness and possessiveness courses through my veins. 

He better not touch my Sammy. For once, my mind remembers this isn't Sam's fault, and he should always be protected. My hope returns that Sam could still be out there, but is immediately crushed when I remember who is in front of me. I no longer wish to be free. I just wish my Sammy could live a happy life without me. That he would not try and bust in here, fall into Lucifer's trap, and be tortured just like I am. The other wish, would be for Lucifer to be kidding about him and Sammy "having some fun".

I don't care which one. But I do know that still technicaly makes you a virgin." He smiles even wider. "Those are always the most fun."

*********

He leaves without even dressing me again. I feel exposed and weak. He will be back tomorrow. My ass hurts and I can still feel blood on the ground. Lucifer is rough and harsh and all kinds messed up. I want to curl into a ball, but the restraints and my overall weariness keeps me from moving anywhere.

After a couple minutes, I brush my shoulder up uncomfortably. It hurts on all kinds of levels. I feel a soreness in the muscles, but my throat stings from all the rough bites and harsh bruises. The fear momentarily rushing back into my system, and I gasp for breath, trying to calm down and forget.

**********

I don't sleep. When Lucifer comes in, he only dresses my lower half. "Today we get to some  _real_ torture." I hear him grab one of the whips off a cart behind me. I feel the pain shoot through my spine throughout my entire body before I even hear him approach me.

"Why are you special?" Another whip, definitely going to be bruises, and maybe some cuts. I don't know if I'm lucky it's only leather.

"I mean come on, my boss loves you. I mean he must. Every other prisoner out there get their punishment mere minutes after they cross us. But you? He lets you go  _months_ with a single kind of torture." I can hardly believe I heard all of that through the sound of the whip and my partial deafness.

He continues like that, then as he gets angrier his words and his whip gets harder. "How is it that a  _prisoner_ get more special treatment than me? His  _right. Hand. Man."_ All his anger is taken out on my back. I gag almost every time it hits the now raw skin.

Then there's a minute of complete silence. I hear three footsteps and hear a small  _whir_ before I scream through the cloth still in my mouth.

I feel blood pour from my back after he yanks out the spiked whip. "Now see, with this one, I can't only do it as many times as I want before I have to fix you up. But I'm not going to tell you how many times. Figure it for yourself, fledgling. Might as well make it  _worth my time."_ He spits out the words as he moves takes another turn at my bare skin-raw back.

He takes more, each worse than the last. My eyes overflow with tears of pain as he yanks it out once more from my back. I screech, biting into the cloth as I feel more skin ripped from my body.

He stitches me up. He doesn't use any cleaning supplies but the alcohol. Which he pours "generous" amounts of on me. My skin burns all over, beaten raw and some wounds still open. I can feel every single gaping hole the spikes left behind. Lucifer was even harsh with the needle. Shoving it through the skin, I'm positive the stitches themselves are going to be covered in blood. After he finishes he pours the rest of the bottle out and runs the rag roughly down my back.

"Looks like some stitches came out, I think I may have to redo them." I don't even remember him finishing "fixing me up" as my vision went black and I passed out from the absolute pure pain that he put me through.

*******

The next weeks consisted of torture. That was it. Out of the twenty-something days I had, I never got any rest. The only thing they gave me was water and small portions of food. Which frankly, Lucifer shoved down my throat.

My throat has gotten so bad, I can no longer even whine at the pain he causes. Ripping my nails out one by one. Yanking a tooth out here and there. A nail shoved through one nail, pins decorating my thighs.

When my body shook just trying to keep itself together, he would punch me straight in the stomach. Which only made me shake more. He kept punching until I passed out, he could have continued even then. All I know is I can barely breathe, and my wheezes only encourage more torture from Lucifer.

One day I was chained to the wall and I couldn't breathe, I had a collapsed lung. He watched me struggle with a bored look, before finally helping. He actually frowned when I started breathing properly. No wonder he was named after the devil.

*****

"You know, I was actually a nurse before I was given this job. You should also know that I am the top person, the leader of all kinds of torture. You should feel lucky you got me and not some low-down meager torturer. He would probably be so  _nice_ to you. What kind of fun is that?" He told me as he fixed up my shoulder that had popped out of place. "Although, he probably would hit places that he wouldn't know could kill you, whereas I know exactly where a major vein could be."

Lucifer was ruthless, relentless. I could feel his need for blood just by his very presence, see it in the way he held himself and his blood lust eyes. It seemed the more he got out of me, the more blood he wanted. Through it all I wondered how I was even alive. Oh, how I wished I was dead through it all.

"I bet you regret your decision of ever giving up huh? Mental pain not enough? You know, I enjoy these sessions with you. It gives me something to look forward to. My favorite time is when I can take you as my own. Maybe we should try the pins with it? They would tear through your skin as I spread your legs  _wide_ apart."

Every threat Lucifer ever made, ever since that time we "had fun together", he followed through on.  _Every threat._

He would bring up Sam during his "favorite times". I wanted to cry out and scream and thrash, but I was tied up, exhausted, and there was no way I could even start without getting punished worse.

No matter what he did, there was always blood. Nothing was ever done without getting at least one drop.

******

"You need to build your strength up. We are going outside today." He took me off the wall before he grabbed me and pulled me tightly to him. I was to weak to push away, in fact I don't think I could have stood on my own. How I was even alive I don't know. "We are going to walk around, build some of it up. No blood for awhile, which absolutely no fun. But, my boss demands it."

It was great to take a break. I started getting enough food and water. Eventually Lucifer only need to stand by me because I got well. I started to have some hope I may get through this.

Although there were still some sessions, but they were few and not as terrible as most. Only a few cuts here and there, or a punch, nothing much.

None of them had his "favorite time", he isn't supposed to do that anymore. He was allowed to, he just can't anymore for some reason. It's not like those were any worse than other tortures. Like the drill was definitely worse, and the screws. I only wonder what he terrible plan he could have up his sleeve. I groan inwardly as yet another metaphor, will not be seen as one.

**********If you skipped you can read now. There is still torture, but it is very low intensity. Also this part is important to the story.*************

"Hello favorite subject. Looks like your buddies have found you." I watch Lucifer confused from my place at the wall. For the first time since I got to this prison I can see the room clearly. It's a small space. Tall cabinets line one wall and in front of those, the posts. Across the room, on the opposite wall, stand carts with all sorts of torture devices. In the middle of the room holds the table. Everything is either white or a metallic silver. Except for the floor which is decorated in dried and bleached out blood.

"Except when they get here, you'll be dead." My eyes widen. Open my mouth to speak, to scream, but sticks his thumb in my mouth and holds my tongue down. "No noises. This is where I tell you my plan. Well, the past plan, and it's actually my bosses plan. He thought of it when they didn't come hunting for you. But now that they are," he gives an exaggerated shrug, "it's seems to have become necessary."

He says it sweetly like he knows it will hurt me. Which it does, Sam didn't come looking for me. He just left me here, to be tortured, all for him.

"But see, about six months ago, they started looking for you. Seems like they remembered their lost sheep. Anyways, since it had gotten so long, and you still hadn't given up. He told me, to give you the worst torture of your life when you did. So, of course, hating you, I obliged. Then the next step was give you some hope. Get you better some after it all. Make it seem like you actually will survive it all. Then, when those friends, and that  _lover_ of yours comes. Kill you." The look of horror on my face only generated the worst laugh I have ever heard in my life.

"Gives them hope, because you weren't dead. Then when they see you hanging lifeless on these chains. It will all die. Imagine poor little  _Sammy_. He would have come so close to saving your sorry ass, and the pain would kill him." He smiles, and fakes remembering.

"But he can't die, because he's a timelive." I want to scream and yell and thrash to get him off me. But he presses so hard on my tongue, and my throat burns, no sound comes out.

He leans forward and whispers in my ear, "You came so close to surviving, imagine the last thing you ever said to them. What if I told you little  _Sammy_ was listening all along? The last words he will ever hear from you, what do you think they are?" I whimper.  _I give up._  "Your regrets can't save you now."

********

I hear yells and screams and grunts and death. People have infiltrated the prison and are taking our guards at a fast pace. They get closer and closer and I await my impending doom.

Although most of it has already happened. My entire upper half is naked and covered in cuts, bruises, and blood. I have bruises and cuts and gashes running up and down my legs. I can't see out of my right eye, it's swollen and leaking tears that burn my cuts.

"I hope you die the worst death anyone could ever possibly receive." I manage to spit out of my mouth through all the blood and burn in my throat. It was the first time I had spoken since leaving the white radio room.

"Really? Because, it looks like you are gonna win that trophy." The shouts come nearer and nearer. Soon they hit the hallway our room must have been in, and Lucifer uncrosses his arms to reveal a knife.

"Ready?" A smirk splits his face as he rushes at me. He makes quick time to undo my chains and he grabs my throat, preventing me from leaving. He glares daggers at me as the door to the room opens.

I close my eyes and brace myself. The last thing I will ever see is Lucifer's face in mine with pure hatred emanating from his eyes and my bright pure red aura, with hardly any traces of green left. The sight burns my eyes and the last of my tears push their way through my tightly closed eyelids. I hear someone scream out my name. The last word I will ever hear, and it wasn't even Sam's. I feel the knife go through my stomach pushing up and twisting to my heart, as Lucifer plunges it through. 

Then I feel a rush of emotions. Relief that is the last pain I will ever feel in my life. Regret that I could ever hate Sam, that I fell into their torture. Utter desperation to say something, to hear Sam be here with me, but if my hearing was correct, it wasn't Sam. Sadness,  that I will never have my happy ending with Sam and that my last thought were the words I would never be able to say.  _I'm sorry, Sam. I tried to fight, for you, to protect you. I love you. But I have no other choice. I give up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note to the person to comment for the rescue: Now you know what I mean, here's what I wanted to say.
> 
> Did you read the archive warnings?  
> Did you read any warnings?  
> Have you read how bad the story was and MY warnings?  
> Pssh, rescue? What rescue? If there is, what makes you think it's going to be successful?
> 
> I don't want to call you out, I was just kinda like, how am I going to respond to that without spoiling anything?
> 
> *hides in corner now* I beg forgiveness. From everyone. Especially Gabriel.  
> I'M SORRY! *hides further in corner*


	29. Maybe It's A Sign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg it's the end. The last chapter. Oh dear. What the fuck have I written. I shouldn't post this, I never should have, but too late.  
> (PS don't read what the next paragraph, just stick to reading the story, unless you want everything spoiled)
> 
> Hm..
> 
> Maybe that's A Sign I regret everything. But my Regret Can't Save me now. Oh god you should have listened to me, why didn't you hear me? Please Hear Me now. Radio Silence was the hardest chapter for me to write. But Trust Me, This entire fic was a fucking Prison, and I Betrayed and Captured you into reading and while reading this fucked up fic. I mean I Told You So, but it was your Decision to read this. I don't know about you but I may have Fallen In Love with this fic, and then they were Leaving Home and I lost all sanity. I mean Holidays Are Special to me, so I tried not posting on those days, ugh I'm gonna need some Recovery days after this, but hey What's One More day? And I'm Too Far Gone, and Coming Out with this as my first fic was a terrible idea. I mean, it's Finally all Together, but How Do I Know It's A Sign I should stop? I mean How Much Do I Love-LIKE.. Uh this fic? I mean Everyone's Together now except for Gabriel and Sam.......... oops. But you know Everything Is Alright...for now I guess.. I mean we've had The Good And The Bad, the ugly, Blessing..or Curse? The difference between Anaglyphs And Stygians, which After The Shock of those names, really no difference. But I guess The Greatest Mystery Of Life is why I have not stopped talking, I'm probably spoiling everything, I mean Auras are The Signs Of Death, Sam doesn't have one, but Gabriel does. SHIT, well it's not like I've already told you that from the Prologue, it was in the archive warnings.
> 
> *evil smile* You hate me now don't you? Well, I'm not the only person who went back in time before, and I sure won't be the last. Those of you who read that whole thing, have fun with your spoiled story.

The trip was the longest trip I had ever taken. I was so anxious to get there, maybe see Gabe still alive. But every time I looked at the clock, only a minute had passed. Sometimes not at all. Everything seemed in slow motion and I felt dizzy and nauseous.

I kept myself busy by focusing on reading the signs on the road. Everything in life is like a sign right? When someone flirts with you, its a sign they like you. When something seems out of place, its a sign we should be cautious.

Gabe and I meeting, it was a sign that we should be together. Everyone wanting us to be together, Kyle's note, that first kiss, when Gabe and I left together. They were all signs we should be together.

Except, Kyle died because of us together, Gabe left for me, Dean took forever to get back so we could go get my boyfriend, what if these were signs we shouldn't have been together?

I mean, we weren't even together a year. We would be underage to even get married. Underage to do some stuff together, like  _that_  and drinking. All signs we shouldn't have ever been together.

He was an Anaglyph, and he should have been repulsed by me, that I didn't have an aura. That was a clear sign I was dangerous, but a clear sign he was right for me.

I ponder over all these thoughts as we get closer and closer to Gabe. Hours later we reach the town. Dean pulls up a block away from the prison and we get out.

The moment the alarms sound around the prison, we all start sprinting for the doors. There wasn't any time to lose.

Dean sent me with two other guys and we took out as many guards as we could. I got in a fist fight with one that appeared out of no where. Except there's just one thing, you never mess with someone on a mission to save a loved one.  _Especially_  since I was so close to Gabe.

It takes only twenty minutes to take out our entire section of the prison, the guys tell me to go find Dean because he found Gabe. The moment I hear that I run down all the halls.

This is it. This is the day I get to see Gabe again. I was so excited I was sprinting down the halls. Dean found Gabe.  _Dean found Gabe._ That means Gabriel is alive. He has to be, he's here. I am going to see him again. My heart soars at the thought and I can't resist the smile that comes to my face.

Team members point me in the right direction as I run down the halls. I start to get a sinking feeling as the closer I get the more solemn they become. They all have headsets but Dean never allowed me to have one.

I started panicking and running faster than before until I was in a full out sprint. I gulp as I see they pointed me to the torture chambers. Definitely not a good sign. My mind races back to the thoughts I had in the car on the way here. My breathing gets faster and faster and finally I turn down the hall. I see Dean immediately in front of me and he starts dragging me away.

"Come on Sammy."

"Dean, what? No! I have to go see Gabe, he's here right? You saw him!" I struggle against him. He just grabs my collar and tries to pull me a way from the hallway. _What happened to Gabe? He's here isn't he?_ Panic and fear surge through me as tons of ideas race through my mind.

"Sam. Sam!" Tears are coming to my eyes. This isn't a good sign.  _What happened to Gabe?_  Why is Dean trying to drag me away?  _What happened to Gabriel?_  "Sam, Sammy. Calm down. Breathe."

"No! I need to see him." My shouts start to turn frantic. Something happened to Gabe, I know it. My heart races and I think through every possibility, I mean he was found in the  _torture chambers_. I'm gasping for breath, and I can hardly see through the tears that are welling up. "How bad is it? How bad is he? Dean!" My eyes are wild and I'm still pushing to the hall. Dean keeps me pinned against the wall, not budging. "Dean tell me what happened, if you won't let me go see him! I need to see him!"

"Sam, it isn't something for you to see." I start crying. I let loose all the tears. I don't care if Dean sees, the love of my life could be gone. Why can't Dean just tell me?  _What happened to Gabe?_

"No! No he can't be! We were here! Dean, we were here! I have to see him." Determination sets in my face and I shove Dean off finally. He tries grabbing me but I run around the corner in time to see them pull Gabe away on a stretcher.

"No! NO! Gabe!" I run, tears still streaming down my face. I run to Gabriel and everyone else moves aside. I pull to a stop in front of him. Everything stops then. Everyone stares at me. Waiting for me to react. But I'm frozen in place. My heart has stopped beating. I can't.. won't.. process what I see.

And a minute later everything speeds up to a normal pace.

 "Gabe, no." I reach and grab for his arm. "No, no, no, no." It takes another minute before everything starts to set in. The grief, distress, anger. Everything that has been piling up over the course of the last few months pour out of me. I grab for his other arm and lean over him. "No. No. No! You promised! You promised you'd always be with me! You promised you wouldn't leave me!" I clutch to his shirt and pull him to me.

I can't look at his face. So lifeless. I don't care that I'm getting blood all over me. "Come on, Gabe. Gabe! Gabe, wake up! You said you'd see me again! You promise we'd be together! You promised we would get married, you promised!" I hold him close to me, refusing to let go. I kiss him, hoping this is all just a dream. A nightmare, my worst nightmare. It can't be true, it can't.

"Come on Gabe. Wake up." I shake him slightly. "Gabe, wake up!" I can't see again. My tears fall on him and I hang my head. I sit there and just cry. All my anger has washed out of me, and I finally calm down.

Dean pulls me away a few minutes later, but I don't want to leave him. I'm scared if I do, it would all be final. "No! NO! You can't do this! Dean, let me go! Gabe! Gabe!" I struggle as Dean pulls me away from the people again. My anger starts to come back full force and I start to fight, but Dean just pulls me roughly away.

The people continue with their jobs they were doing before I disturbed them. When I see one if them pull out a blanket to put over him, my heart shatters. The final sign that he is and truly is.. dead.

I can't see anymore. Tears have filled my eyes and my vision is blurry. He can't be dead. He can't be dead. No.  _No._

Dean half carries me back to his Impala and I break down crying. I can't go on. I was so close, so close to saving him. I needed him. He saved me. I was supposed to save him, too.

If only Dean had come sooner. If only Alfie never found that radio. If only I hadn't left Gabriel behind. If only we knew what Brady was planning. If only we had never met up with Frank. If only we had never run away. If only Jo hadn't died. If only Kyle hadn't died. If only Gabe and I never got together. If only I had never met Gabe. If only I had never fallen in love. If only we hadn't moved so often. If only dad didn't drink so much. If only mom never died. If only I was never born. If only I wasn't a timelive.

I stand up suddenly and force open the trunk and grab the crowbar we always keep. "Hey, whoa! You touch Baby, I'll kill you." He says harshly, but there's a hint of worry behind it.

"Why don't you? Gabe's dead I don't have a reason to live! You know that!" I laugh in his face. "But you can't can you? Because I'm a timelive! I can never die! Not even by my own hands! If I wasn't a timelive Gabriel would never have been here! He never would have been tortured! He never would have died!" I slam the trunk shut and storm into the woods.

It's barely been half an hour and already the guilt is eating me alive. We should have been here. I could have been here sooner, Gabe wouldn't be dead than. I take the crowbar and hit the nearest tree to me. He wouldn't have even been there if I had taken his place. I hit the tree again, and the sound echoes through the forest. If I hadn't been a timelive, we never would have had to run. Another hit to the tree.

Dean was an anaglyph, I should have believed him when he said I didn't have an aura.  _Clang._  That's a huge sign right there something was always wrong.  _Clang._

Gabriel flipped out when I asked about my aura.  _Clang._ Major sign, and he nearly died because I was so ignorant.  _Clang. Clang._

The day the man came to the door and shot me.  _Clang. Clang. Clang._ If that wasn't a sign, then  _clang_ what  _clang_ was? The entire country goes on a hunt for timelives.  _Clang. Clang. Clang. Clang. Clang. Clang._

Bark starts to peel off the tree. My hits only become harder. 

Time lives are forced into hiding and loved ones are forced to lie.  _Clang. Clang. Clang. Clang._ There is no place for time lives to take refuge. No place is safe. CLANG!

I fall to my knees. All my anger taken out. The tree had taken a pretty bad beating, and I laugh at the thought it could've be me. I drop the crowbar and sink down father, hanging my head and desperately wiping the burning salty tears from my eyes.

Dean comes up from where he had been standing behind me and grabs the crowbar, throwing it as far away from me as possible. He sinks down beside me and places his hand on my shoulder. He pulls me to his chest and I weep.

I shamelessly cry, soaking his shirt. I clutch to Dean, he is my only lifeline now. "It's ok Sam. It's ok. Everything will be alright."

"No, Dean. It never was, and it never will be. Maybe.... maybe this was it."

"What?"

"Maybe this was a sign. That Gabe and I should never have been together." I sob.

"This isn't a sign, it was just unfortunate timing. Plus, Sam, you've lived without him before."

"I didn't know he existed!" I didn't know there could be somebody who didn't judge me for my lack of an aura. I didn't know there could be somebody who felt so strongly to protect me as much as my brother. I didn't know I could care so much about someone other than my brother.

"Even after you met him, you lasted an entire year."

"I didn't eat! I starved myself, hoping to die. Hearing his voice gave me life again, because I knew he was out there. Waiting for me. It gave me purpose again. He's gone Dean. I don't want to live anymore." I sob and whisper, "not without him."

Dean shifts me slightly. Then pulls me up into a standing position. "Stop this. Stop this now. You have me. You have our family. Gabe's family. Live for them, remind them there was someone they truly cared about. Remind them there was such thing as true love. Live so others can remember him, and Kyle."

The tears come slowly now. I know I have to live. I have to keep those memories alive, like Dean said. It seems like a pathetic excuse, but right now, it's the only thing giving me solace. 

"Come on, you're gonna wait in the car while I take care of the prisoners. And Gabe." I nod.

Maybe those were signs. But signs can be confusing to read. Some of them tell you that something is there. Some tell you just to be cautious, because something may be there.

No matter how we read the signs, we have to remember, signs don't always mean that something is there.

Maybe it was a sign that Gabe and I were meant to be together. That whatever happened, and all other signs, were just telling us that danger was ahead.

Maybe the signs were that Gabriel was the danger, or I was. But they're just signs. We can read, but we don't have to follow. How I wish, I hadn't followed the signs. I never would have gotten here.

I hang my head in my hands again, just hoping this is all a bad dream But it isn't, Gabe is gone, dead. I will never hear his voice again. All I know, is that, now, the signs point to Gabriel being dead and gone forever. A sure sign that I will never see him, or find comfort in him again.

I don't know, but maybe it's a sign I shouldn't live, but being a timelive, I have to live with this forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I break your heart? Maybe that's a sign you shouldn't have read it. I'm sorry! I need therapy probably. What kind of human am I that I have written this tragic story? I am sorry....
> 
> Don't kill me please.
> 
> Hey, but kudos, comments, bookmarks, they're all accepted. Especially comments about how much you hate me. Just comments in general, cause I love comments. Like screw kudos and bookmarks and hits, I want comments plez. Even if it a fucking death threat.
> 
> Also sorry for the beginning notes, I went overboard with it. But I kind of found it funny cause I put every chapter name in it, well tried too.  
> *apologizes profusely before hiding in a corner*


End file.
